it’s a long standing paradox that he who resists monsters becomes a monster too it’s monstrous to be innocent in this monstrous world but no one is ever innocent as far as god’s concerned this is a frankenstein constituency where monsters and angels sing from the same song sheet was
that one of god’s mistakes? or
maybe he was one of ours is heaven full of monsters? what if god himself is a monster? and everything we think we know is one great monstrous lie?
3 September 2023
monstrous
dark circle
time is a dark circle void of human purpose the future is behind us but we are indifferent to the ebb and flow of circumstance time brokers no change just endless repetition time doesn’t cradle us time is crushing us time marches over us with no intent at all
time is a dark circle
blind and remorseless the killer of galaxies the harvester of souls but
time is still precious so we must spend
it wisely for life is fleeting and rounded by darkness so waste no more time seize the day gladly because the hours will fly by while we’re standing still
2 September 2023
memories
you touched me where I ached and took away the hurt we were light and shade and created the moon and stars from our tangled sheets with hungry groins and mouths our sex was existential every moment every touch conquered death our cups were overflowing with raw orgasmic love we were naked and newly born washed clean by the rain completely unashamed
you are the
one dream my lonely soul desires my
first and last taste of immortality
do you think of me that way?
do you celebrate our memory?
they say the richness of our lives
lies in our memories you were
the lyric to my melody and I care
to remember words I dare not speak for love has just begun and we two are as one in the kingdom of my memories
31 August 2023
special delivery
I’m unloading another consignment of hard luck and therapeutic chemicals I require further instruction on how to get my business fixed I fear myself in these dark hours suicidal ideation is a singular ideology can you sympathise? tell me you can sympathise…
rain drops pitter patter
on my naked skull some call it torture others call it rehabilitation there’s a health service plan to gather my stones and
give me a pounding but I won’t be
compliant with the violence that
breeds conformity
they say I’m
bad or at the very least mad but it’s my life I won’t let them shape it won’t let them squash me with their power trips and lies
the whole world is singing the same dismal hymnal the melody’s familiar but the words need revised
just stay
away from me my hurt is
contagious I’ve been devoured by my
sickness they’re saying I’m crazy but I’m just impoverished and that’s too bad but it’s no big deal so don’t bring me down with your suburban mores I’ve lived outside convention most of my life
26 August 2023
manic
hear this? I spark to this tune I love this tune I love everything do you feel that energy? I feed off that energy my friend told me she’d swallowed lightning I know that feeling I’m loaded with electro-ecstatic potential everything every-fucking-thing speaks to me every sight and sound drips heavy with significance all of it combines and coalesces into the shape of man reborn mother nature’s son this world is pure euphoriant I’m operating at impossible altitudes steering by cosmic intuition I’m a silver arc of flight in the stratospheric blue
but on the flip side and there’s always a flip side there are terrible days lurking in ambush days of rabid desperation where callous motivations tug at my
loins when violent energy pulses through
my sleepless nights and a carnival of monsters fester in my mind there are thoughts I keep to myself thoughts I dare share with no one else they would only paint me red but
that’s the curse that keeps on giving I
am become a beast my face has turned to stone I died an unnatural death many times ago but there’s no peace for the wretched no place for hope in hell
crazy
this soul is at odds with the world because the world is phony and so am I but at least I know the world is still asleep madness is the only freedom left me madness can be intoxicating and illuminating I was touched by lightning when I was young and took on my shoulders the madness of the world reason had betrayed me but I saw clearly that all life is a dream and we are all just dreamers wrapped up in our dreams
everybody is crazy it takes a madman to know that because wisdom is madness unchained everything we do is crazy conflict is crazy and
hatred is crazy and love is crazy too all passion leads to madness its darkness smothers millions with a blanket of anguish and despair the most beautiful things are born of
madmen and the most terrible they concentrated evil and put it into bombs they
drop them on people in the
name of love and peace if that’s not fucking crazy I don’t know just what is
25 August 2023
satyrs and nymphs
the lingering scent of cheap perfume and spearmint gum the bitter aftertaste of latex and spermicidal fluid the
compensations of the flesh all
that folding and unfolding pressing and
heaving on
wretched sheets
I remember the face but not the name we were eyeball to eyeball but eyes sometimes lie and tongues can deceive I grant all my lovers a sleepy benediction we are all free of sin in moments of passion it’s a stratagem that’s seldom in error no strings attached and no comebacks please
I grant no repeat viewings of my dirty treasure I know where you’ve been I’ve
been there too but you’ll want to
know they
always do so I’ll
tell you some tales for
your delectation depravity lurks in the purest of hearts but libido is damned by jealous manoeuvres you ought to unwind and just let it come
the tentative half impressions I weave from the bedclothes promise gaudy revelations that flee from the light so I’ll crack on now before the daybreak creeps in through your
window like an
angry policeman demanding confessions and enforcing strange laws that no-one believes in
24 August 2023
hypersexual
I got the hunger something chronic I just can’t get enough to satiate my lust I don’t care what floats your boat I dig it you can count me in right here right now while our blood is hot and the urge is on us I’m as tactile as a shark and as subtle as the bends but I’ll gladly play any game of sentience and sensuality
I
revel in that electricity I’m alive
with conductive potential I’m a hostage to intimacy, my body
requires it I am driven by the flesh to
seek the devil’s mercy not that sex is wicked I
believe it is sacred some say
I’m a dirty dog I
think perhaps I am dogs have no inhibitions dogs know no sin
so let’s roll together our ravenous limbs entwined tracing the fleshy geometries of our bodies and
our minds I feel that I know you and I can read your signs you’re hungry just like me and loaded with sexual energy I’ll
hold you tight but love you looser no marionettes no strings attached if we can ride the beast together
we can share that spiritual fusion
that’s ours but for a moment before
it gently fades away
23 August 2023
killers
they say you can kill with kindness but I don’t believe that’s true no, cruelty is a killer indifference is a killer and I’m a killer too this world is a cruel place its history is a catalogue of murder they say life is precious but people squash it each and every day there’s little love in people they are killers by word and deed
birth is an
act of violence the powerful
understand violence they’re all
killers too I have stared in the
face of cruelty and seen the bloody
truth it’s either kill or be killed in this infestation because we’re all killers it’s human nature we were born to violence and murder by degrees I found the one I loved in this world it was she who murdered me
22 August 2023
euphoria
the most beautiful things in this world cannot be apprehended by the senses they must be felt by the heart like the feelings that pass between lovers in moments of passion I don’t know if it’s even possible to convey those feelings in words manic sex is a form of communication fully tactile and totally emotional to capture a picture of that, you’d have to paint with colours no-one has ever seen
feelings
come and go, like clouds scudding by they
are never really constant they tend
to change through time my feelings
are hyper energized but prone to
painful inversion the rush of pure
exhilaration gives way to dreaded
apprehension I wake up into nightmares in the valleys of
despair to lick my wounds and pray
once more for the state of euphoria
and the joy that awaits me there
21 August 2023
secrets
I gave away my secrets
they were weaponized by erstwhile lovers who came in like avenging angels to get my business fixed but I untangled their machinery and left them dangling by a thread there’s an edge to certain words sharper than a guillotine but there isn’t a word for
everything so how many wordless secrets
were lurking my bed speaking directly
to the heart and bypassing the head?
20 August 2023
medication
twice in every day I schedule my medication I don’t get the good stuff they save that for terminal cases but I die a little every day that shit’s for pain so why not give it to people in pain? they say it’s all mental that my kind of pain don’t qualify wrong address again best test my reflexes if I have any left I function out of habit but I can hardly roll a joint
perhaps it
is all in my head from an injury
long ago somebody damaged my
psyche and it never knitted
together I could fill the holes with the help of god’s own medicine the universal panacea if they gave a prescription of the proper medication I could harvest pearls from the bottom of the ocean or scud across its surface like a lonely albatross