woody was an artist
he stole his supplies from
the council depot he said he
knew the score he sketched it out for
me with red paint and an old tooth brush he said life was bloody as was death and that the old world had to die to make room for the new I asked him what the new world would be
like “like new” he answered and walked away knowingly woody was heavily charismatic he’d never been called an arsehole
when he’d gone I took the opportunity to scope out his latest
work it was a murderous apocalypse
of a painting it was still
wet and I got some red on my
fingers I left my incriminating
prints all over the death of the old world or was it the birth of the new? I was a criminal in the both worlds it seemed this and the next
*painting by Picasso
but the mechanisms of
disclosure are often
misleading you played the angel of
mercy and I the prince of
thieves there were few flies on me I was keen as a blade I pulled a stroke now and then coz I loved a spot of gravy when there was gravy to be had
from here to there wasn’t so far but from there to here I spent some agonising hours I bled out between your sheets what’s that the symbol of? a pattern of self denial? or some form fatalistic love? I was only seventeen and I could touch the sky but my hope and my despair walked together hand in glove
time has dried our eyes you moved on and so did I I’m a creature of habit my life is an open book you’ve read this one before with the turning of each page I gradually metamorphosed into the ebb and flow
now
I crack with the dawn to bark with
the crows it’s an angular song with no melody but it sounds my name and suits my clothes I’ve been on the high serenity since I busted the final taboo I’ve lived long enough now to perfect my
illusion you could call me a modern
man but I have standards to
uphold
they
say that we only see just what we
want to see well I’ve seen enough to know and know enough to hold my peace I opted for peace I didn’t like the
power dynamic that some people
wanted to cut from my cliché I’m a
rarefied species the once in a
blood red moon I’m the one who cheated life through the needle and the spoon
can I just say I own this
space? I own this space and the spaces between the spaces between that’s of little consequence in the grand schemata but it butters my scones just the same
can I just tell you I
own this day? I own this day and the days between the days between not that it really affects anything or anyone beyond the scope of my own dharma
can I just add I own this name? I own this name and the other names that I have been stretching out into infinity but that’s old news of no interest to anyone let alone me
they say the good outweighs the
bad I
hope that’s so because
everywhere I look I see horror and brutality pathos and hopelessness hatred
and stupidity but somehow I see
beauty in it all I’ve
witnessed the power of the human spirit I have received the kindness of
strangers I have
seen love triumph over despair I sense
something deeper than the endless cycle of human miseries and despite the blood the tears the anguish and
pain I
love it all just the same
jesus give this poor boy blanket and a place to lay his head coz the shit just hit the fan and tomorrow we’ll all be dead the world is on fire everybody’s talking about the third world war I don’t want to die I don’t even know what we’re fighting
for will we plant our flags in
ashes? are ashes worth dying for? today it’s them tomorrow it’ll be us so enjoy what peace you can we’re on the eve of armageddon coz the
shit just hit the fan
morning cracked on I rolled away easy a standing start from an empty bed more blues for breakfast the whole caper is wearing thin what was the catalyst that soured the cream? was it something she said? she said plenty she reckoned she was bona and I was catfish I didn’t want to be wanted not in that way but I wanted my cake I’m just greedy I guess she told the world I was hooked on buzz she patented the bad news and other adult fictions I’d rather roll off empty than wear those colours I talked with my feet and made for the door I wished her luck in the future but I doubt it took hold
latch key kids we’d
tasted freedom the place to ourselves for a couple of hours we played cat and mouse beneath the bedclothes the sun and rain pelted the windows it was a school day we were both skivers adam and eve marooned at last in a council flat
I’m in the fucking dark here just
gasping for light flip
flopping on the shore caught on my
own hook nothing stings like the barb
of fear because there’s fear and then there’s the dread apprehension all emotions radiate from
the core anxieties I have shit festering
in my can that would sap your
will to live they lay in ambush my
denizens of the deep there’s no
respite they never sleep
don’t you just love being in control? isn’t power the name of this game? I shed a lot of friends when I broke ranks with the
stalinistas they are out to get me
still with their psychic
instruments and ugly rumours but I keep faith with my own
principles as befits someone of my
temperament and chemical impulse I
was vain I was ruthless I
was cruel all these charges are true but I’m no judge and
neither are you
I never swallowed the
big lie but I used it from time to
time when it suited me and
conscience allowed I reap as
I sow without complaint I’m
just one in a chain that spirals off
into infinity the songs of my benefactors echo in my mind and I’m free to choose just what I keep and what I leave behind
how far is too far? how close is not far enough? we left no stone unturned in our pursuit of pleasure but I touched you right? just as you touched me didn’t we burn down the night? and light up our days with incendiary passion brazen sinners who made our beds in heaven I have no regrets do you? if I erred on the side of foolishness I did so by your grace for your precious love
hear my voice on the recent collaboration with musician and
producer Calum Marshall: ‘Dagger’.
stolen kisses the knowledge of flesh that’s what I like I’m not going to bring you flowers I bring you blood I bring you fire I bear the awful gifts you secretly desire
and where do you
go? and what do you see? when you could be running wild with
me and with
the passing of the seasons when the
months roll into years there’d be a million different reasons why I’m almost always yours
hear my voice on the recent collaboration with musician and
producer Calum Marshall: ‘Dagger’.
my soul aches I’m tired sick and tired this life will be the end of me I’m
on my fucking knees here I made a call to jesus but he wasn’t home could be my fault I’ve been dialling a lot of wrong
numbers lately I finally got the
message I’m in this all alone I won’t call no more but where’s a boy to turn? my life is on fire and I have just decided
that I’d rather jump than burn
suicide help guide
