Subsidence

they say that pain subsides

the way old buildings do

to sink slowly from the memory

and disappear from view

they say that time’s a healer

but that isn’t always true

and I wanted you to know

that I’ve not forgotten you

.

Hedonist

here’s to those louche lounge lizards

and licentious feline derelicts

who propped me up to dip my pockets

and barfly angels who furnished me with flesh

but were blameless in my corruption

nothing appealed to me like everything

and having everything I wanted more

because every pleasure seems attainable

when you’re a drunkard and a whore

.

Before The Lights Went Out

was that real enough for you?

I can still taste the blood

is there anything better than that?

I should fuckin’ well hope so

so you think you’ve had enough?

who was that cat on the cross?

I make a point of never knowing

that cunt had some moves

he was immaculate, so he was

I’m glad I got to see him

before the lights went out

.

Panacea Number One

I’m not running from anything

I’ve outdistanced my regrets

and there are no dark secrets

that I’m trying to forget

I don’t drink to remember

I drink for the effect

but this shit ain’t for everyone

it should say so on the bottle

it might not heal your yesterdays

but erase all your tomorrows

.

Ego Sum…

the convenient fictions

that constitute the truth

can carve intractable issues

that remain unresolved

during a lifetime

of kitchen sink dramas

for everyone you meet

will take a bite of you

but the world

will swallow you whole

.

Spots

I turned a new leaf

shed my skin

sloughed of my previous

and wiped the slate clean

the new and shiny

appeals to my ego

worldly still, but clean

sleek and natural

in mint condition

without form

over distance

without the reproach

of my erstwhile peers

I discarded the things

that brought me only sorrow

but I just can’t forget

what’s foremost in my thoughts

that I’m still a fuckin’ leopard

even though I changed my spots

.

Faithless

It is perhaps a measure

of my perversity

that I share no faith

nor take comfort in

the great hereafter

because facts are so very rare

and immutable in nature

whereas books are all fictitious

whatever their intentions

would the author

please come forward

to defend his words of stone

and provide just one eye witness

to confirm we’re not alone?

I confess I prayed at times

of quiet desperation

but held low expectations

of divine intervention

the tales of baby Jesus

the promise of resurrection

were made so long ago

and have suffered much revision

it’s always been this way

through revision and division

since men first conceived of gods

and devised the first religion

.

Footprints

I don’t fancy yours

that’s not the worst of it

no one twisted my arm

I was hostage to opportunity

awakening in a stranger’s lair

there’s a sense of shudder

in these awkward instances

nonetheless departing

with guilty steps

and a vague feeling of failure

I left shallow footprints

in yet another world

.