there’s a poem lodged in my throat I don’t remember the words or where it all began they say god speaks through signs that only prophets understand where the sky blankets the earth in misty morning dew a child in golden chains the sacrificial lamb lost in winter storms hostage to conflict and there’s no star now over Bethlehem just a testament to unending war
never worked a day in my life won’t sweat blood for the machine blood is heavier than gold but what do I know? I’m just a bum balancing the scales my advice to would be scholars is to do what you like but don’t let your imagination run away with you don’t lose yourself in the herd or let modest claims of individuality camouflage your bovine curiosity just plant a flag in the anecdotal and call it history
but don’t listen to me
I’m a certified fool I renounce history all histories are phony I have no history I just tell convenient stories this life was spent dreaming yesterday’s cause is lost let tomorrow care for tomorrow’s woes I won’t cry today I feel I’m halfway high just from thinking about it I’m pitching naturals from now on these dice are loaded and the table is
mine
I don’t read the papers I just follow the signs I get all the information I need in stereo messages from heaven transmitted in high definition directly into my cranium my senses may be addled but my heart is instrumental in sorting out those waves I needn’t be sober to garner their substance the lyrics are set in time to a long familiar refrain
they tell me god loves a drunk because all drunks are poets and all poets are killers when it comes down to it and it often does we are all of us killers but
I don’t seem to mind I’ll gladly take
the blame if there’s any going my hereditary fault lines my bipolar distemper mete out eyeball for eyeball and subtle truth for gain
it ain’t rocket science
just simple dharmic law the
children of men are routinely tested
to live and love and lose again that’s
the sum of our existence those are the rules of engagement the nature of the game that’s how the courageous love as
lions among lambs in the pastures of eternity in a story without end
I said a prayer to the highway god
“Please don’t let me
die alone
Out on this road
So far from home”
Some say
that hungry worms conspire to rend the flesh of the recently expired. That we
return to whence we came – to that unknown place which bears no name. Some day
perhaps we’ll rise again to know no sorrow – to feel no pain. I don’t know the
truth in that, because I’ve seen death up close and I don’t see no way back
from that. So if I fall before my time; bury me beneath the sign that points
the way back home; and simply say of me ‘he once was here and now is gone’.
I made you my seed gave you life flesh of my flesh you belong to me you’re a chip off the old block but I’ll be old and grey before you get the better of me you’ve gotten too big for your boots coming on all high and mighty you need some bringing down boy get your feet back on the ground you’ll feel the back of my hand it’s the only thing you understand there’s only one god in this house and while you’re under my roof I will be obeyed and I will be adored because everything I do I do it for you one day you’ll thank me for making you stronger one day you’ll thank me for making you stronger
it gets complicated when the weasels come to town some critters only love you when the sun shines they turn carnivorous in the dark weasels are sharp and unrelenting theirs are worlds of meat and necessities I don’t care what did the old assassin say? the coup de grace always stick one in the brainpan that’s what I’m doing gimme the blowtorch we’re smoking moon rocks testing the limits of gravity stick it to my brain pan I feel the rapture coming on strong I’m all about having a laugh vibing with the positive success is having fun there’s no maybe in paradise no excuses no exceptions and no mealy-mouthed weasels to ruin the party for everyone else
sort me out with a spoonful coz a black cat crossed my path mail it if you care for me or just leave me alone but you know where I am if you want to treat me like lover just come on down I got lightning in my pocket but I can’t spare a dime so don’t expect my call I’m a hostage to necessity and have no friends at all
so fuck me up turn
me out distance me from all I
love bury me in winter squalls twist my nuts and turn me off tell me now I’m going home where no-one lives but me alone now that all reason has fled teach me how just cruel you are furbish my weapons poison my bread pour for me a bitter cup take my tears and drink them up
I’m going all the way down
never has so cruel a season rained down on my head it has carved for me a heart from stone no lover’s lips can relieve my doubts no knockout blow will count me out no
fiery brand will light my path I
grope in the darkness and eschew the light
coz there’s only one fight and I’m in it thick so murder me but please make it quick
all my life they had me drag the low end they say I’m not worth knowing that I don’t amount to much so I deserved their soft betrayals the kind that stuck fast a leaking of confidences unanswered phone calls unanswered doors they’d cut a little distance and leave me in the cold maybe they caught a glimpse of my crazy maybe they just lost patience I’m used to that now no one knows you when you’re mental I guess my company isn’t easy no one owes me anything friendship least of all but it doesn’t really matter now I’m tempered by experience and hardened to the bone I flourished on the outside I made it on my own
*Bugsy; adjective
infested with bugs; dirty; weird; buggy. Crazy; unstable; bughouse, He must be bugsy to behave so
impulsively!
there are no
big secrets don’t believe all you
read all beliefs are cosmetic you have to harvest the present to live your own truth there’s a universe in motion and it don’t know your name all names are bogus they all sound the same your mind is magical let it work in silence this is the medicine you consume with your soul the truth is an unwavering note that resonates through the cosmos there’s but one single instant that lingers eternal there’s only one truth and its moment is now
it’s been a hard road but I came the long way round towns are made of people and this old town is dead to me everybody is out of reach I’m a stranger here now and I live so far away far away in time I’ll find no sanctuary here I wouldn’t have a prayer it didn’t seem so bad framed by moonlight with eyes filled with passion you’d think an outside woman could provide a home for me but home is where my people are it’s where I’m headed to not where I started from adventure risks uncertainty peace begins at home
reality is a hoax I don’t believe in that shit bring me intoxication serve me ecstasy light me up with insanity reality is a prison I’ve long since escaped the real universe is beyond our comprehension imagination trumps reality because reality is stationary it’s all in the mind of course fiction reveals what reality obscures faith is a mere placebo imagination illuminates the world imagination is the wellspring of all creation imagination has no limits in a universe of infinite possibilities anything you can imagine is real
another
reluctant dawn burns holes into my
eyes just another blind man sickening for change I tried to off load my shackles coz you never know the hour or day will bring a glimpse of hope I’m
tuned into a world that has never
been my own I’ve been waiting on a
shepherd but all I get are wolves
meanwhile… …at your local shop ‘n’ save the precepts of scientific management churn out well adjusted slaves they have chosen between conformity and freedom they are willing to be managed each has had their price I’ve been damaged and discouraged but I’m not crazy enough to join them I dressed like them talked like them and even ate like them but I could not think like them I can’t be moulded to society’s requirements I needed new horizons and ever greater highs so cut me some slack coz crazy amounts of spoon robbed me of my consumer status and left me on my backside you can sometimes buck the system but not the dark forces fear is the coinage of modern babylonians fear is the quirt that keeps the herd in check
I‘m so high I daren’t look down but I don’t even miss the ground good riddance to bad vibrations I’m just an infant laughing at the
sun the universe and I are one… …it’s a perfect fit… …hand
in glove …so don’t blow my
high let me fly with the birds I got the ornithology and there’s magic in my words
but I ain’t bobbing for apples this is a game I can never win but I shoot when I’m hot and I’m ready to fly more often than not …angling
for the short prize aiming kinda low… I might just beat the system it depends on where I go sometimes I can fly away keep the blues at bay …gravity is patient with madmen… …but I’m bound to crash someday
mother preserve my soul was I up to no good just then? I seem to have drifted away… …I was in the psyche ward again and I was totally numb closed off to the world but seeing is believing at least that’s true for some …I’m peeking through the curtains sunlight in my eyes I’m tuned into eternity and stratospherically high… …now and in the moment I know the world is mine it was broadcast on the news and it’s written in the sky I’m dynamite this morning but I don’t know how or why
all riches are theft all rich men are thieves revolution is justice revolution is truth the truth in our stomachs the truth in our hearts revolution is an act of violence revolution speaks through the barrel of a gun seven pounds of murderous intent the unifying icon of perpetual revolution placed in the hands of children our modern day dogs of war
one day we’ll return
to the
place where we belong
but we’ll go
the long way round
and make our
way as killers
scorching
hallowed ground
until we
learn to speak as children
devouring
stolen apples
in the
orchard of the sun
where once
we built
our monstrous
war machines
and turned
them on our gods
all words have failed us so we turn to the violence boiling in our hearts we’re talking war again our words are crimson with the justification of blood an eye for an eye the blindness of lust but we will have justice we shall wreak revenge we shall kill in the name of humanity vouchsafe our security through the shedding of blood we must defend our lives and love the bloody sword the only good enemy is a dead one they’re not even human number them with their murdered children their hearts are breaking now god grant them peace when this madness is done
every face tells a story but all faces are masks and all lips were made for lies there’s a kernel of truth buried in every deception for we are purely abstract a triumph over chaos living in a world of pure theatre we are all of us fiction woven into fact our silence screams for truth but even silence lies we are what we hide this is a world of illusion reality is only glimpsed through an opaque lens everything we do is a masquerade a dance within the mind
age smothers with
daily cruelty and I’m longing for
peace but not too much I’ve
been imagining my death instead of
sleeping away my days there’s blood in the bathroom I’ve been
spurting out life from my commonplace heart I don’t court it I’d rather avoid it but it finds me unprepared and alone I’ve studied the science and I must surely die someday but I just can’t see it it
isn’t really me I’ve decided to live
to die of boredom in another thousand years
I’ve been living for tomorrow all my sorry life but living for the moment might be worth a try because I’m dying incrementally one fear at a time one day we’ll talk about immortality but today let’s talk about death and
why it’s stalking me
it was hard to tell what it had been just a pool of blood and gore plastered to the side of the road another failed crossing? or perhaps a suicide? success or failure are often hard to divine is that my destiny? it seems pretty bleak that’s the stuff I’m made of animated flesh and bone spilled and spoiled all dreams and aspirations flattened by a truck
I’m stumbling from crisis to crisis with no clear outcome in sight but I’m not defined by my problems I rise against the wind and swim against the tide I rail against my fate I will not be denied through inertia or assuaged by momentary pleasures I refuse to be another sudden impact I want to leave something more than a stain in the road behind
I am my own religion
selfish cruel and beautiful
all who touch me wither and die
I’m the cat who got the cream
and I cut up nice when I’m nice but a little self love can be a dangerous
thing I bit too deep from forbidden
fruit my love is a burden to me
now love without theatre is a sad device you can sacrifice too much and have little else to give but love without sacrifice is simple
theft I stole with my tears I owe myself for misplaced trust
I’m too old now to care what others think my opinion is the only one I count no
one is ever as clever as they think they are but I’m always right except when I’m wrong and I turn up wrong more often than
not on a purely subjective level I’m a bonny liar I lie to myself night after night but I won’t be diluted or poisoned I won’t be validated by others I’m my own worst enemy and my own best friend I’m my alpha and omega in the forever amen
not all birds winter in the south some of us are flightless moribund and exhausted some of us are accidents car crash victims veterans of unhappy wars long since wounded and purple hearted they say having flown you’ll forever walk the street with your eyes on the sky for there you have been and long to return not to reap or sow but to soar without constraint beyond imagination
I have wounds hidden scars but
all my surfaces such as they
are present spotlessly clean at least to the naked eye but I’m filthy by decent human standards and my wings of wax drenched in lust fucked up and sorry have failed me in the hour of my disillusionment forever fixed in space in the moment of crashing I am leaden now and planted in the soil of my woeful discontent
more than sometimes
during a powerful lunar phase
I get the spiritual impulse to
make my own bible and live by its
verses to blow my own trumpet till the walls come tumbling down I am alive and always changing the crown of creation adorns my brow I’m truly living the human experience the high of all highs the most holy of holies the
revelation of incarnation has lit me
up a beacon of truth in the fog of ignorance
I’m getting into the world
and everything in it riding the waves of existence through
the ever expanding now where everything ever imagined is real we create ourselves from that mosaic of fancy but we’ve evolved into plastic gods makers and breakers of private worlds each
is imperfectly cast in their own distorted image we are
the graven idols in the temples of babylon
the worship of self is the
religion of hubris and hubris precedes disgrace sure as the ebb and flow of every lunar phase
it was written in the stars that we were doomed from day one life has called the tune and beckons us to dance the universe will unfold as we always knew it would no one can change the past we can’t even change the future I curry favours in the here and now planting seeds in adjacent lots I glimmed for a moment there and exercised the will to fancy myself something special at the centre of the whole enchilada but I was lonely in the universal and I wondered has our god deserted us? or were we always all alone?
buried under autumn leaves the shadows of summer feed the soil winter did not cheat them of life it laid them down in silent pastures to gift them rebirth in future days I am wounded now at least in spirit I don’t know how or why the winter has kissed my lips the cold has touched my heart but I still know how to love and I’ll be coming back so bury me in rotting leaves rest me now for future days just don’t lose my number lover wait for me
I still taste you after all this time you have a hold on me I don’t seem to mind it was all about sex and sex is power we shared an energy sexual magnetism I don’t remember the question but sex was the answer you knew that of me you saw me coming from a long way off just another man who would never control you and I was hurt I was paralysed I felt helpless that’s not attractive in anyone’s eyes we are all sexual creatures and in a perfect world we could fuck without consequence but it’s not a perfect world you were flawed and so was I the passion seemed intense was it all in my mind? do you remember me fondly? or was I too unkind?
the morning dawns cool and still and sings softly like distant hymnals sunday holds some sacred place in memory just as you are a sacred place right now you are the sabbath and the deepest truth of incarnation is that all life is sacred all days are holy and all people divine hold this sparkling jewel against a clear blue sky and it shines on six billion miracles touch the pulse of the living earth and become one with time and space you are the whole world an extract of the stars you can reclaim the sacred for your own live as if you were poetry this is your church eternal right here in your heart
your nights are getting slender as darkness envelopes you better drag yourself together you’re stretched out pretty thin you feel so empty inside but what does that signify? there are years that beg the question days that reply in kind you’ve been loading up the blues better cut yourself some slack you’re only human after all you’re trading up again bigger problems for harder times you’ve weaponised your love but you feel no safer this is the winter of your soul and you’re tired and getting old but you can’t return home you’ve been left out in the cold
silence is the ultimate heresy – only silence speaks to the soul
there are no holy books
no sacred words of god but there
is knowledge and knowledge is power you are here to provide the universe with
meaning so says the heretic prophet and
he’s the one should know organised religion is a tool of
oppression so let your inner peace lighten that burden the mind has its own geometry and can make heaven of hell and hell of heaven your prayers are just a longing in your
soul but there’s no specific
combination will bend the world to
your will so become as nothing to feel everything better to have no words than speak falsehoods remember god has no religion and heaven is a state of being no words can take you there because the truth is inviolable and forever remains unspoken
there’s a killer in my bed murderer of sleep he will not take his rest until he has slain all my dreams my own worst enemy stalks between my sheets darkness softens the edges of the world the universe expands my mind dilates too the day begins at midnight and I begin with it maybe I sleep when I’m not looking but I am looking now and I can’t sleep for thinking how many times have I written these words? how many ships have I knowingly scuppered? my oasis of calm is becoming a nightmare but I wander on enslaved by the night hold me close now bring me some comfort kiss both my eyes send me some sleep out in the dark there are people drowning their stars burn too bright to bring them any peace I’m pounding out words as if they were lifeboats god save our souls we’re in this too deep
I am you the
power of you I measured every cup of
you before I poured myself out too we are
both devils we each pack our own
hell we take pleasure in loathsome
things and wield our desire like clubs desire
is in the jurisdiction of devils and
desire is achingly cruel we were wounded by desire and desire has made us wicked our love was a cry in the void we bled willingly for it while it gave us strength but passion betrayed us and our love turned
to contempt we’re weakened now there’s a fatal flaw and our silence speaks of failure so we’ll settle our account with what remains in our hearts before we sever forever
intone my death
song hear me out I want a real time extension coz my future’s in doubt I’ve got a one way ticket it’s the only way out there’s a few miles behind me from the womb to the cemetery every night every day I pray for mercy but time will tell there’s
no other way if my number is finally
up there’s surely time enough for one
last incantation our little voices singing low into eternity we flow
how do you like this sauce? a vessel full of good intentions idiot notions and wholesome adult fun the distillation of orgasmic juices primed for psychosexual pay dirt you can smell it the fleshy expectation a jolt of adrenaline an electrical surge we are dynamite who cares why luxuriate here in opulent splendour I’ll roll us a stony and weave some more lies you and me baby we’re something special so let’s put this together before it gets lost
we are made of sundry pleasures stolen to quaff a lusty measure while we weep for
something more this world is more
than seductive it’s murderously addictive so sweet and delicious have we become we are killers of our sacred pleasures and everything is pleasure and
pure pleasure is insanity it’s the high
on high euphoric that salves the mind and
frees the soul you cannot buy such thrills you must pocket them with scheming hands and
a knowing touch
the sweetness of love lies in the sharing of pleasure but the sweetest pleasures are hardest
won for in
the midst of joy there is despair and at the heart of pleasure there is pain toil
and fatigue destroys people and pleasure
restores them without desire we have
no function without pleasure we are mere automatons so
let us all pleasures prove for we are
sorcerers and gods in these fleeting moments
and we must relish our pleasures before the spectre of boredom turns us back into straw
death ebbs and flows with the tides and seasons my dreams are wont to do the same with drowning boys and bloated sailors unnatural deaths in troubled waters to dream of death is to die a little perhaps we all die as we dream in some private nightmare all on our own
