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26 September 2020

bipolar

 

when you are crazy     as crazy as I am   you don’t realise it    because your perceptions have shifted    away from the reality of the crowd     to a reality of your own   bipolar is a thief   it steals who you are    and replaces you with some imposter      someone you don’t even know   and you are forced to live in a world that’s no longer your own

I cannot escape my illness     any more than I can escape my shadow     on the dark days I scream    on the bright days I laugh    there is no in-between   but even in the depths of misery    there is music inside of me   I get high    I get low   but I can live with myself in either mode  

perhaps there is a world     far far away    that has a darker sun    and that’s where I’m supposed to be    some here think I’m too much    but from my perspective    they’re just not enough    they judge what they don’t understand   and I pity them for that    selective blindness is a dreadful affliction

my illness may be invisible    but believe me   I am not    I do not go quietly    you’ll know where I’ve been     I am a creature of irrepressible emotion    and it’s a life I’d gladly exchange   if I could find a recipient wicked enough to be deserving

between the mania   agitated depression   mixed emotional states   and suicidal ideation    no-one can understand bipolar geometry    least of all me     it’s the will to die    and the motivation to try    it’s a morbid dread scouring the streets in search of murder   it’s a dark well full of bitterness and despair  it’s a curse I wouldn’t wish on the devil himself


listen to the Creature EP

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