it’s me
I did it again
I made a cunt of myself
for no real reason
that spike through my heart
the faulty adrenal gland
sent acidic transmissions
through my mind and body
I could tear my skin off, fuck!
I spiraled on terrible trajectories
like that moth in the bathroom
on its fatal final flight
an elongated spasm racked
and viciously surged
with a reckless head load of poison
acrid in my mouth
my words have cancer
cutting words, killing words
no balance attenuated
or room for reason
all passive strategy
lies in wait for the unwary
then pounces ferocious
into the maelstrom
fuck you!
fuck you
and fuck you too
I’ll smash your face in
eat your entrails for breakfast
tear the stars from their sockets
and grind them to dust
don’t come in
I did something nasty
I damaged my being
with psychotic clubs
treatment is symptomatic
there is no cure
no wonder drug
no universal panacea
just elemental narcotics
to ease the pain
of twisted nerves
in a deviant body
a sickened soul
in a broken man
who conjured up this
slouching abomination?
my furrowed brow
and unnatural posture
speak of untold burdens
so feed me, free me
turn me loose
put a bullet in my brain pan
and bid me farewell
somebody call the cops
the suicide squad
oh man
I think I’ve lost the plot
I’m negotiating with forces
that are only ever found
beyond the pleasure principle
in the bloodiest recesses
of the human heart
I’ve arranged my killing stones
where they come easily to hand
my eyes are filled with blood
and where I once saw beauty
I now see meat and murder
like every loser I ever met
I have embraced the beast
and follow its commands
I won’t fake out here
I often pled innocence
due to diminished responsibility
but the servants of the beast
are purely instrumental
in their brutal applications
and the calculus of rage
is relentless and unforgiving
.
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