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13 April 2023

missing constellations

 I’m out of favour with the cognoscenti        I strike too sombre a tone for the dawn chorus     they say this bird only charms to deceive          but old unhappy far off things       tug at memory with icy hands         I never truly sinned         not in my heart              I’m as good as the next man         as good as I have to be         I’m getting into my beast now       coz it makes no difference to me        what you think       so don’t listen to my shite       I’ll only poison your ears       with rancid prolix     and juvenile posturing      but I’m just an old man       with a young and selfish heart       don’t get me wrong        I wish you well       god grant you goodness and plenty        just not too much       and not too close to me

 

I packed my metaphoricals       time to crash out        this is my last incarnation      I turned indecent shades of buddha        and invalidated my warranty      so they cancelled my subscription       I wasn’t cut out for the worker’s paradise          I don’t get mixed up in it       coz I’m not sure it’s clean        they say I’ve shit on the rules that bind fathers and sons       but I’m a kindly ruin         I’m archaeology        don’t dig me up          I want to be alone         it was all in my head         but long ago        my missing constellations         have long since turned to dust

4 April 2023

bridges

day by day        my vibrations grow thinner          I best seal my books        before an inspector         steals my secrets           man, I’m on the frayed edge           it’s combat stress        every weekend         back from the pub       a sorcerer full of secrets          I can speak the old abracadabra        do a little kiss and tell        but I’ll bite my tongue        on my long walk home         I won’t mention you         mum’s the word        no one needs to know        where our bodies are buried           or who has lain with who       there’s no need to worry       I’m strictly confidential         you can bank on my silence        this isn’t my first caper        and it won’t be my last         people are at war          with their inner dimensions       and they ain’t taking prisoners         this close to the front           I know the pain of universal conflict      but I’m not afraid of circumstances        can you smell that?       our bridges are burning        I’ll dance in their ashes        when I’m good and drunk      

16 March 2023

tamagotchi warrior

I need       christ how I need      there’s never enough         to fill my need           I got the craving         something chronic       I’m not saying I’m sick          but I’m more than interested          this shit is the filth       there’s always the flip side         every silver lining        wrapped in a shit storm        I count my blessings       but they have edges          lacerating edges            I’m a bloody mess         from coming and going         I plough a straight furrow        but that’s just camouflage        I like to blend with the static 

8 March 2023

Bethlehem

 I was reborn      after the big sleep       the deep sleep        the sleep of dreams       I was tired to the bone        and sick of monsters        and men are monsters        who take up arms         these are the days of the beast         the beast tattoos our hearts          with the dread apprehension        and we live in fear       and fear makes us monsters        but there is no defence          from the certainty of death        only the promise of life eternal        in the kingdom to come           for hope springs eternal      here in Bethlehem

25 February 2023

submarines

 what a palaver     there’s no doubt      she dished dirt      the full kitchen sink       like some tacky soap       I said lend me your body     I’ll wipe that smile off your face         a little dark humour      from a darker place      you know who you’ll answer to      back indoors         you can’t beat that peach       they bruise too sweet        she was dancing with moondogs         she dances real good           but her mind is gone         still, any old tart in a storm

she was looking for someone         to submerge herself in     someone to redeem her dreams       but life shows little mercy          I didn’t have the space          and her motion made me sick         we was shacked up less than a week       before we sprang one     that’s the trouble with submarines         they are rarely observed         and never experienced        but I’I was in it for the kicks        the rest is propaganda

16 February 2023

bona

 it’s those lesser evils       that keep us tuned        to the straight and narrow        we didn’t choose this life       but it’s our bread and butter          god knows we’re bona         good for nothing      good for a laugh       good after bad        so dummy up and shine on this          I’m only saying this for your own benefit        be a shame to stumble          to stumble and fall         on yer fat arse        this late in the game         shape you’re in          shape I’m in         shapes we’re in        we do the best we can        with what we’ve got         wherever we are      we do the best we can         but we’re only as good          as we have to be

12 February 2023

flicker

it was a flicker of hell        but that was enough       to shrivel me knackers         and sober me judge      I’m laying one on         I’m covering up         this party’s over     and I’m cutting up rough         best find me some sugar         to put in me cup       coz I lived to tell         but man, it was tough        

Mirror Ball (Carpe Noctem)

 all that’s within a man     all that’s without him     is just a mirror        held up to the world      the glitter    the glamour      the pain and misery      the future and the past        are merely fragmented reflections      of the light the stars have cast        seize the night        seize the day        each could be your last         soon you’ll disappear              like a shadow in the dark

8 February 2023

soul messenger

 it’s the drip drip drip        the relentless pressure        that destroys a man       the tomorrow       and tomorrow       and tomorrow       and it’s the pestilence of night       that eats at his soul       if he has a soul       do we really have souls?         I don’t know        I hope so        coz I would be a soul messenger         a fragment of the sun

may goodness open my eyes        but not too much just yet        I want to leave some room         for future revelations     I’m a thousand years sober         every day provides the same blue vista       that wipes away my tears       and paints my happy head          with an abiding love        I’m sick of dark reflections      I want to bathe in light  

terminal anxiety

jesus weeps      time runs out      entropy triumphs at the gallop       mankind is beaten into third place      by the insects and the dinosaurs       this is not what we expected        as we cruised the highways        of our imaginations         we were promised paradise        and life everlasting       but we got the doomsday clock and terminal anxiety         someone better switch off the big light        this party is over and it’s time to go home      to whatever shit hole we came from

4 February 2023

dog town

 on my way     homeward bound       where a cold wind blows over poisoned ground      where I was born      and where I died       coz I die a little      each day I spend     in this dog town     without a friend         too many crimes     left unsolved      too many conflicts unresolved        I am alien      in this place        I’m an abandoned building        falling down       an empty shell         in this dog town

the blackened sky       won’t drag me down         coz  I am at odds      with this dog town     we love and hate our neighbours         until the bastards bleed     and trust the lord our saviour       in our hour of need         I’m the last of my kind in this dog town          they might bury me here       but they’ll never bring me down

3 February 2023

obey

 I’m just the one bad apple       in a whole barrel of laughs        it’s easy to point the finger         but baby I’m not the last       I’m just a natural man       struggling with worldly pain         but everything that ever was       was exactly where it was meant to be        so when they feed me to the beast       I shall go uncomplaining        I was only obeying orders         and I got no strings attached        I’ve done some wicked shit       and I got nightmares to show for it    

I have slain my enemies      with joy burning in my heart       I have secured a seat for me          in some lesser heaven        a stone’s throw from here          cheek by jowl and worlds apart      beatific in my gluttonous hog trough         where nobody’s perfect             but at least I’m trying       I’m just a desiccated leaf     on the blackened bough of the gallows tree           I go where the wind blows      following the dictates of my primitive heart      and if I cannot obey love        I shall obey my fear         I will hate myself for it        but I shall obey my fear