COVID blue

 

COVID 19 was the catalyst that painted us blue   if you weren’t crazy before you sure are now   when I look outside    I see nothing    when I look inside    I see less    I’m on emotional lockdown   all is blank   and suffocating   my happiness is long overdue     another bus that won’t be coming soon

schizophrenic pandemic aggression   may hold us in a confinement beyond physical arrest   some minds will corrode with the loss of personal liberty    others might grow morbid and lonely    but I banquet on my own thoughts    and sing like a caged bird

oh lordy   don’t cut me no slack   I’m making no applications   for beneficiary status     I require no validation    from abstract strangers   or fawning supplicants    lead me not to redemption    but deliver me from   the tender mercies   of holy rollers   and curtain twitching   superintendent   do gooders

I’m your regular egoist   who recognises the limitations   circumscribed by charity   and I know that   sometimes you have to cut a sucker loose   before he drags you down   these are the days of pestilence and woe   my kettle’s on the boil    and my cup is overflowing   with final demands and hate mail   but you won’t catch me    counting any beads   I’d rather risk insolvency   than go on bended knees

listen to the Creature EP

vox dei

 

I was certified ordinary at the lollipop factory    but an undetected defect seized me by the knackers     and I seen the god of babylon riding on his chariot    through the cooperative store    and I seen he had sharks eyes    cold and dead and joyless   and he was just a boy   a youth of eternal summer   but he made my blood run cold    I’d give that cunt a wide berth     but he’s the master of this world

I hid from him then    but I won’t be caged no more    I won’t play his bloody game    it’s my turn now to forge secrets   and manufacture a legacy   he kept us in the dark    but he forgot to hide the books     I’ve been a busy boy   I know all his secrets   he cannot chain my mind    with snake oil and magic lotions   so he can just dream on    because I can think for myself

all gods are false gods    there ain’t nothing behind the curtain     there are no wizards in Oz      all religions are man made    we crowned the god of babylon and we can bring him down      is that seditious?     am I laying a crime on your ears?     dummy up and  listen good     while I lift the veil from your eyes      the seditious are the only honest beings left   we will not live the lie    it’s something of a handicap    in a world where liars and charlatans are deified  

I was as distant from him as I could be    then I was plunged into darkness   on the 5:15    there was brief a spark of recognition    but it was swallowed by the inky black  and the god of babylon spake unto me      his first lie was epic   but his last was pathetic   I don’t judge   but I was never a believer  he was all transmission    how could he know what I was thinking?   that limp procession of falsehoods and threats bemused me    you don’t have to do that    not if you are a god      he smote me then    with instruments of my own devising    it took me a lunar year to scrape my arse off his shoe

sweet pilgrim you’d better beware    so many people around you are phonies    and you could be a phony too    and never know   there was a time you knelt in prayer   and the words were a comfort to you     now you suspect you were only talking to yourself    and that the god you built from old stories and wishful thought   has a veracious appetite     and he gorges on his makers day and night    that god is the fountain of all lies    and a parchment of your imagination

hear the Creature EP

stop

one drop     two     three drops     four     feed me to the scum suckers     pour flash in my pan     rifle me     stifle me     blow me from the rafters     fuck me     in the brain stem     but     deliver me from arseholes     enthralled in semantic developments     I have no need for enemies     when my friends     will bite my tongue     that union of close affiliates     and worn out excuses     lit my funeral pyre     with a bluebell match     and a kerosene drum

always     mostly     arseholes flee     from any thought     that might rattle their cages      but my pen is    mightier than my sword      and made these pages mine     before they had names     when these words were thoughts    and vague recollections      my head was mince      I’d had a proper seeing to      later I crept home     half arsed incognito      having formed the opinion    that all is either lost     or found      while groping in the dark

once satiated     my dying manhood     glistened in the lamplight    what’s that the symbol of?    I howled with laughter    I’m a dirty old mongrel      why don’t I stop       cock stop     stop cock    why don’t you     just stop     stop     stop it     fasten the impulse     reject the necessary      stop     stop where sign says red     red means stop          stop means stop

hear the Creature EP

soledad

I have an itch   I need to scratch    but it’s beyond my reach    it’s on the inside   where the piranha shoal    and old wounds fester    in the inky black    it’s dark outside    but it’s darker in     the night claws it’s way     into my room    with tedious certainty    my lights are lit   and curtains drawn    my barricades   against it all

the weight of gloom    e x p a n d i n g    invades my skin    filling me with darkness   and  I’m small     and all alone    so very far from home     here at the edge of the world    there is silence  in my bones    this world provides no nourishment    for those who feel alone

is all life lonely   and lacking purpose   despite the masks that we all wear?   that prospect is appalling   loneliness is the most terrible poverty   sex has always been my consolation    when I can’t have love      but that’s no use now    because I’m all alone   and now there is a great big hole   where she used to be     and I have fallen in    and can’t climb out   

can you feel too much?   or feel in the wrong way?   is every man an island on a cruel and lonely sea?    loneliness is so human   and it scares the shit out of me   the way it burrows into you    leaves a mark on your soul   we can never outgrow loneliness   and no-one can fill that space   the best you can do    is do for yourself   fuck everybody else

 

hear the Creature EP

 

babylon must burn

I’ve slaved my last for the combine    all babylon is sick of that murder machine those minions of the combine are always plotting   the combine commits crimes every day   like it’s nothing of consequence   because there are different rules for them   dog eat dog is their credo     money is their god    and greed is their religion

it’s the system that grinds us down    that system is called babylon  and babylon is owned by the minions of the combine     they steal our money for corporate gain    corruption drives babylon     it doesn’t serve the people     it only serves the minions of the combine

babylon is everywhere   and everywhere is babylon   babylon is the land of deceit     home of the slave     I plan to put on an iron vest     and lay babylon to waste   only blood is accepted and violence respected    by the minions of the combine   we will never chant down babylon    because babylon is ignorant   no  babylon won’t listen     so babylon must burn

hear the Creature EP

vertigo

I dialled your number    again and again   I felt empty   you didn’t answer   again and again    the sensitive can go crazy      with little provocation      I was alone    and drowning in my own shadow    and you were not at home   you were never at home    there is madness in love    and reason in madness    and love is often the reason for madness

we are all crazy  and the crazy in us  can motivate us in inexplicable ways    madness is my saving grace  madness is my adaptation   my antidote   to people like you    I wanted so badly    to be close to you    not just to fuck    but to be with you    perhaps I was lacking     but maybe it was you    my love didn’t just die  it submerged into secret depths   where it hid   curled up in foetal disgrace   over time it curdled   into something that left a bad taste

I took some comfort from my madness    the familiarity of my dingy surroundings     the privilege of the lonely    the freedom to be alone   I sought no understanding    I would not be enslaved by understanding    we each possess a unique world    distinct from all others    reality is an experience   and its veracity cannot be established   by any doctor   my world was bona fide    I was a grave instrument with a bloody handle   a rotten burlap sack full of killing stones     and I was high    I was so very high    that I nearly died of vertigo

hear the Creature EP

silence

I shall be nameless     for the moment    and mute    I shall keep my silence    and my silence will speak for me   if I were to speak   I’d speak like a child   if I were to sing    I’d sing like a raven      if I were to cry   I’d cry like a dove  

but I choose to remain silent   silence is my strength   if I spoke of silence now  I would be a killer   I would have murdered the thing I treasure   let me rest here forever   with the naked things   myself being myself  in silence

be silent now    our silence shall not betray us   I am a dragonfly   a moment that hovers    and remains too long    a sound stopped      a movement stifled for an eternity    you are a comet   a perfect bead    drawn between the stars   marking out infinity     with a single silent strand

hear the Creature EP