27 September 2017
The Blood In My Eyes
22 September 2017
Hungry
that’s me
there face to face with the back of the crowd fetching awkward angles between my toes it’s always seemed that symmetry
eluded me and I was dissolving fractions in a decimal world a feline
soul in a canine cosmos I told a big stripey lie that
painted me a permanent crimson and soaked my banner with piss ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
that was thirty years or so
ago and there’s been plenty of action
under the bridge since then it sometimes feels really late but that’ll be the times I developed humour as a mechanism to lubricate
those rapidly diminishing hours burdens borne with a smile sometimes
feel like blessings in disguise……….…………………………………..
those hooks and punch lines
are mine to own but they aren’t all jokes half of
them are true I hawk them anyway because there
is little else to say people
expect lies in these days of photo-shopped selfies and fictitious biographies so I get away with the odd
deprecating truth as
long as I sugar coat them no one accepts the sour any more their palettes are acclimatised to saccharine
and the soft candy floss of mediocrity……………..…………………………………………..
I stood in a long queue to receive short shrift and a parcel of unwelcome platitudes I’m not complaining mind you I got to where I am by the circuitous route but I got here just the same I’m quite comfy in my hollow and if things are now slower than they once were it’s only because I was speeding in the first place it was always post-haste and frantic stratagems with me I was hungry the way only poor boys are hungry I’m still hungry but it's an old man's hunger
16 September 2017
Soulless Episode III
I’m no some wee whore fi the scheme who’ll let you pick her up or let her doon as ye fuckin’ well please. I deserve mair than that!”
7 September 2017
To Dream As Gods Do
your suicide warden
garnished in chains
inspects your arsehole
where morning has fled
your pot hole eyes peering
through a lysergic purge
witness only the contents
of your dingy abode
which encapsulates the wearying
trinkets of monstrous dalliances
and licentious attacks
of falsified intentions
these are the things you’ll remember
during those lonely repasts
of quaaludes and hard liquor
green tea and ground glass
.
you learned to sleep in shallow latrines
on egyptian cotton and busted bed springs
gazing up at refracted reflections
in cracked ceiling mirrors
where decades of hope
disappeared in a murmur
to dissolve and fade like baby aspirin
.
your aged gigolos and mutant dandies
dopes on the ropes fighting losing battles
are smudged entries in last year’s diary
so your electric wire and phony smile
seemed like your last best defence
in a life grown cold
from hustling for change
and god knows you need a change
there’s one more hit left in the locker
so lay back and relax to dream as gods do
.
31 August 2017
Any Burden
I’m in chemical confinement
l a s t ..o f f.. t h e.. b l o c k s
held in a generous solution
replete with aspic crown
maybe something I said
crossed that invisible line
I offered them contrition
but they just tied me down
I’ve got no padded cell
just a padded mind
this way’s more humane
and so it would seem
to the casual observer
but if he scratched the surface
the observer just might find
there’s more to skinning cats
than first meets the eye
I want more human rights
and far less human wrongs
I waited up all night
by the telephone
when finally you called
I said I wasn’t home
I didn’t feel no better
and I was still alone
but I’d bear any burden
and I very often do
I’d even commit a murder
if I could only get to you
*Image: portrait of the author as a young man
.
30 August 2017
Dirty Feet
me and my dirty feet do well enough
our stony egress from domestic strife
was sanctioned by our physician
and relayed by express riders
across the kitchen table
in a flourish of insult and injury
but we made good with smiles
and the enduring trace elements
of lithium and freshly squeezed irony
this was a bitter lunch, a scant repast
that cost too much
.
29 August 2017
Confessional
I’m coming clean
cause it’s good for my soul
I stole them words from a cracker box
I’m leaving town on a bus later on
a circuitous route through the badlands
throw any blood hounds off my trail
I never liked it here anyway, it’s a shithole
the folk round here never took to me
some people say that I’m vain
but I never claimed to be perfect
I like myself if that’s what they mean
when it comes to me I’m biased
some distrust me cause I have no soul
but when push comes to shove I’m honest
don’t you go thinking I’m running away
it’s just that I’m allergic to lynch mobs
and when they find out just what I did
they’ll come to an early consensus
that I am no longer meant for this world
but loving someone was never a crime
whatever the difference in status
just to be sure that you understand
it wasn’t the act, but the feelings
I left her in tears, but its better this way
a life on the lam is no life at all
when you’re young and receiving a baby
.
27 August 2017
The Power Of Speech
where do you get your sharps?
I need to know they’re clean
I’m allergic to dirty things
so don’t touch my pistol
unless you wash your hands
I get more trouble that way
than opposable thumbs allow
your voice sounds kinda thin
hold it up to the light for me
because I know about these things
I know what you were on the inside
you were a lavatory superintendent
and a bona fide shit herder
there’s no shame in that my friend
many a named player shovelled shit
I’m the prescient son of a prescient son
And I’d have had the readies handy
if I had only foreseen their coming
so spill me that trick you do
when you’re bombed out
down under the bleachers
it’s cheap seats for me and you
until we can fashion key holes
and the necessary certificates
to get us from here to there
wherever here or there is
I know you think you know me
but that’s unlikely to be the case
somethings are unknowable
and others have matching luggage
with irregular identities carved in haste
presumably out of dubious necessity
those spectators who crowd us out
at the soup kitchen
I pay them to stare at me
it forces me to remain spectacle
in a world that rains disappointment
but I’m over all that for the time being
except for the embarrassment
and the sudden deep coil reflex
when someone mentions her name
I know you don’t mean nothing by it
so don’t give it a second thought
I only called to reassure you
that I still have the power of speech
.
23 August 2017
Your Favourite Lover
Three’s crowd darlin’
Did no one tell you that?
Three caused more murders
Than greed ever done
And baby that’s a fact
There’s a man odour in here
Like the smell of dying dogs
You better burn those sheets
Cause they’ve been spoiled for me
There’s only room for one man here
So who’s it going to be?
.
When I first met you baby
Five or six years ago
You didn’t have a clue
But my how you have grown
Have you gone all femme fatale?
Is this a game you’ve been playing?
Well the fun and games end now
Don’t waste your time explaining
You better make your mind up
Or I’ll have to set you free
Who’s your favourite lover
Is it him or is it me?
.
21 August 2017
Bagman
19 August 2017
4:15 am
a good night’s rest, so they say
is the next best thing to sleep
but I can’t stay still long enough
to get me some relief
I close my eyes on the world
to reveal a world within
I can’t divert my mind
from the thoughts
that are keeping me awake
I try my best every night
you don’t know how hard I try
there’s just no ease in the dark
but that’s the nature of the beast
the quirt cuts deep, yes it does
and won’t grant me no release
it’s a long slow death, so it is
when all I need’s a little peace
.