good morning suckers and how is your head today? me, I’ve no grounds for complaint flashbacks not withstanding this remission business is a blast I think I found my balance the mundane seems less ordinary I got my music got my books got no money what else is new? I no longer hear the thunder I am not lightning struck I don’t suffer the manic maelstrom and I don’t give a fuck
another
nothing day best get my
prescription filled every now and
then I get the urge to fall off the
wagon some will say I jumped I’ll
maintain I was pushed so
don’t touch me now I
don’t know where I’ve been I’m just flirting with reality living the fucking dream
where’s my
head at? do I even care? maybe if I strangle every impulse remain impossibly still it’ll come to me eventually solid
state delivery meaning in the here and
now I could be the prototype of the
brand new being I could grow myself a soul
night after
night I’m barely scraping by I’m just biding my time treading water till my ship comes in I don’t want to change the world I only want to change my life children of fortune lead blessed existences they’ve never gone hungry a day in their lives me, I’m starving for a glimmer of light my cup’s half empty so kindly top me up I could do with an even break I just need a little luck
there are no
free rides in this shit show but it’s the only game in town they promised us a carnival but this life is an atrocity it’s one filthy chore after another you couldn’t sell tickets for this it has to be meted out blow by bloody blow
some things
just are the duality of nature human nature godly nature all that is light and dark love and hate life and death juxtaposed in fungal shades of rot and
decay the significance of all that escapes
me now something’s changed I don’t know how but I’m not the man I used to be
I’m crashing
out here so pick me up on your way
down I intend to get my money’s
worth though I don’t possess a dime I’m only talking trash coz I’ve had a few I have high friends in low places and I know where I am I’m exactly nowhere it’s difficult now but I’ll make it somehow though I’ll never taste innocence again
I got the
thirst something chronic but that’s
just the symptom it’s not the
disease booze loves me it loosens the bindings that conceal my pain it soothes my soul while it numbs my brain I’m
reaching for oblivion so let me breathe fire I need to imbibe something impure I need a drink like I need a friend yeah, I need a drink like a hole in the head…
I’m trying to
make sense of my pain does that
mean I’m crazy? should I have turned
the other cheek? dare I demand
recompense? I was suddenly swiped by
a bus my barely human remains slickened the street my brain dashed on the pavement leaking out my dreams
sick thoughts
can devour a body I’m crawling
through shadows I need a little
sunlight maybe I’ll take a walk perhaps I’ll just rot here in my
room don’t take me to the
hospital I have friends there who
won’t seek remedies they got a bag
with my name on it
don’t mind
me I am just a fool lost in the vacuum of the universe mine is the madness of spirit that leaps into the abyss without a single care in the world I fell and kept on falling there’s no centre to my existence I’m a leper and an outcast I may have lost my bearings but I might be heading home
you got your story and I have mine people have their plans one vile task after another but don’t trust me my pants are on fire you may seek a meaning I couldn’t possibly comment I’m just happy to be here alive and in the moment truth means nothing to me I’ve seen it all before I got the slow burn rapture I’m happy all the time don’t get me wrong my darkness serves a purpose redemption through chaos that there is the basis of my mythology
I loved the
man queer enough for you? I don’t care what you think my heart is an open book I know what is written there this is a song of love for someone ever young he was original an individual and I miss him now perhaps more than ever my love is a river he was the ocean the best of friends my lover, my brother he’ll shine on forever in memory
maybe I have
a pornographic mindset perhaps just a
lonely heart I am my own master and I
have tasted freedom I’ve been told I
was greedy but how much is too
much? how much is too little? I think I’ve had my share some say that’s quite enough but let me tell you it can never be enough things were different for me you have to allow for that I
was doing my favourite thing and
paying dearly for the pleasure for I
embraced the world and every sinner
in it
only my
dreams seem real is that the dark
magic? or is it all in my
mind? I dreamed of you last night you were no ghost you were all flesh and blood but you would not come with me when morning called our names you kissed my lips just once and vanished when I awakened come to me tonight I’ll wait for you there somewhere in our dreams where the world can’t drag us down
all these
fights are rigged a man don’t stand
a chance he’s got to punch above
his weight from the very start I was once pretty agile but now I’m trading blows the knockout punch was landed and I don’t feel a thing coz I’m numb from the neck up and piteously exposed one too many poundings has left me on the ropes I ought to throw in the towel like so many suckers before me but I’m in it for the fight I don’t know what else to do
I shut up shop
just for the holidays when you’re silent
everything speaks to you me,
I move right in I occupy that
space where silence reigns silence nourishes silence is the only sleep I need yeah, I’m tuned to silence that’s how my garden grows out there in the distance there is a frozen field deep in the country of silence I will
wait for you there
the god we made is crazy but everybody’s crazy
you have to be fucking crazy to
live in this crazy world
I’m not the first to realize that I’m a little crazy my doctors say it’s normal given the circumstances they said a little poison would cure me of
my ills so they dosed me up on
lithium and locked me up in a
hospital until I learned to play
nice
and you dear reader
do you recognize your
madness? do you let it shine before
you? or does it drag you down? the symptoms after all are part of human nature so
embrace your inner lunatic and give
your madness life
what a colossal
idea
a truly
fantastic hoax
he wasn’t in the
sky
he was in my living
room
the god of magic
mushrooms
the god of
revelations
the sign of my
ordeal
I bargained for
salvation
he crushed me
with his love
the god I had in
mind
answered my
foolish prayer
he give me a
shot at redemption
who could want
for more?
don’t you
miss it? the speedballs and reefer? the fantastic highs? the tragic lows? no, I managed to keep my shape
but it was an accident I came
out whole as something less than holy I defied the world and it crushed me I’m stuck in my shotgun shack my bindings are undone I’m hardly worth the salvage from the scrapyard of my mind
when I was
crushed by the world others were
crushed by me you couldn’t call it
fair but I would come down
heavy on whoever was around me wherever
I happened to be …when I was a monster I had a tune in my head I called it my death song I couldn’t switch it off it nearly drove me mad but
when I came down heavy that
song was all I had
I’m in a
hurry I’m always in a hurry I want my pudding I want my pudding now I need instant gratification and a billion dollar high I’ve got the hunger something
chronic I
took a bite out of the world I nearly swallowed it whole it tasted so damn good and now I want some more
She claimed to be a friend
I had no reason to doubt her
She said she knew where I lived
and where my secrets were buried
She knew the best time to kick a man
is when he’s on the ground.
It seemed a friendly encounter
until she showed her hand.
She said, “You wear your illness like a badge.”
I replied, “No, you’re wrong, I wear it like a medal.”
She said, “You seem inordinately proud.”
I said, “Because I’ve won a thousand battles.”
She said, “Those battles were only in your mind…”
I replied, “Those are the battles that are hardest
to fight.”
I identify as
human but ’ll admit to bogus
credentials mine is an assumed
identity I’m really not the man that I
appear to be my history is
fiction I lack a legitimate story on which to base a life
my whole façade
is plastic it takes on many forms it conceals some dreadful truths I do my best to hide I’m a divided man with all the heartache that implies there are wars I wage in secret that cannot be described
