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17 December 2013

Euthanize

Revolver_01
treatment is symptomatic
there is no cure
no wonder drug
no universal panacea
just elemental narcotics
to ease the pain
of twisted nerves
in a deviant body
a little chicken soup
for a tortured soul

who conjured up this
slouching abomination?
his furrowed brow
and unnatural posture
speak of untold burdens
so feed him, free him
turn him loose
put a bullet in his brain pan
and bid him farewell
.

15 December 2013

Voiceless

voiceless

Poor Boy looked into the sky and said:
“Oh God, please get me outta here...”
But God did not hear him
The distance
Between
        Heaven and Earth
Being what it is

Silenced at birth by unseen hands
It was more than just the money
(or lack of it)
There was a poverty of spirit
And a quiet sense of shame
That couldn’t be erased
He was a sounding brass
A hollowed out man
Just one of billions 
Stuffed down the crapper
The justice in that
For the moment escaped him
.

14 December 2013

Undertow

Drowning_02

cancellations will occur      due to unforeseen circumstances      I’m coughing my guts up     a gasping clearance     of the regurgitate     burning reflux     that’s a choking sign     many are the good men     who drowned in their own vomit     that’s not the way      I want to go 

the final slumber     the open gate     there’s an easy route       to accidental escape        gluttony and carelessness      don’t swim too far       there’s a shallow shelf      then it gets real deep       the undertow will drag you down     beware the undertow      drag you down

.

12 December 2013

Indica

Indica

Lend me your implosion

Spin me some indica

Light me a sensitizer

Pass it on quick

I’m not long for this dimension

Give me metabolic connections

To the man within

Direct me through the proper channels

To the district coordinator

For the living dead/undead

The lean mean concrete machine

Is grinding me down

Dehumanised and processed

Into human pate

I got the F-E-A-R

Chronic

.

3 December 2013

Ghosts

Gloom


Chaos bless them – prisoners of the winter skies who await the settling of the sun when night sings songs of damage and pain. Silence seeps from the cracks of less well-ordered lives to soak the heart and stain the soul. There are those who would not trade their sadness for joy, but would hold it dear for it denotes the passing of something precious. There are some who would hold the empty night close to their hearts as the only remnants of loves lost, or dreams that died. They would eschew the dawn preferring the company of ghosts.


27 August 2013

Other

dancer
The other was inspired by the devil, the devil was inspired by Oscar Wilde. He spiked him with the promise of eternal youth – he would never be old and he’d never face death. He became the other by chance while bathing in his own splendour at the age of nineteen. That’s when he discovered he had this thing for the girls and they reciprocated quite regularly.

Soon he was way too big for his own boots and boy did he love it all. He hung with the outsiders, because birds of a feather hang together. He learned that rules were written – only to be broken. That’s a delicious thrill – the taboo in you being torn from its nest. He did it all and, for good measure, more than once. He was slick as Casanova and as bad as Jesse James. Off he went lickety split, the other knew the dance, but the devil called the tune.
.

12 August 2013

Never… Perhaps…

Chinese-Love
I was never...
but yes
I was once
when it was forbidden
a stranger’s embrace

that forgotten name
did we ever?
more than once
to test the flesh
and taste the sweat

there was one
penetrated the illusion
with subtle grace
asked the question
are you for real?

the answer confusion
cat had my tongue
I lit for the shadow
I was once yes
but now am undone

I was always real
I just did not know
the futility of play
sampling the real
I lost my way

tomorrow
not
    tomorrow
but yesterday

think that I must
I was never...
but yes,
I think I once was
.

30 July 2013

Ecstasy



 

It was good gear; less speedy than a Mitsubishi, but with a cerebral buzz on the top and a heavy body hit like the ecstasy of old. It delivered its silky messages through the loving membrane to the centre of my brain with a herald of triumphant feathered horns. Liquid ease poured through my veins as smoothly as warm treacle. My head was as open and clear as a Sunday morning hush; my bells were ringing in celebration. It was good gear alright, and it tinkled with expectation.

 

The phone trilled musically – so I answered it. I recognised the voice immediately, it was my ex, and she was out to break my balls.

 

“I’ve seen you with that girl and you disgust me” she shrilled.

 

She needn’t have looked. No-one forced her to look, she was just nosey. She cranked it up a level – strictly for my benefit. I held the receiver away from my bloody ear. She had to vent her spleen;

 

“There is a word for men like you – you’re a pervert!” she concluded.

 

Seventeen in leather boots; I must’ve been out of my mind. She was my Lolita moment, forbidden fruit fresh on the vine; I couldn’t help but take a bite. I was old enough to be her father, maybe that was the point, I didn’t ask. We asked no questions and we told no lies. I mounted her like a billy goat. I had the situation well in hand – a few sharp thrusts – a few long strokes... I was slippery to the hilt, she made cooing noises.

 

Those budding breasts, emerging fleshy pears, all smooth and jiggling, were a feast for my hungry eyes. There was the sloppy slap of sodden groins; the strain of muscle and sinew, my senses where alive to her scent, her essence. All concentration went to the pulse at the centre of my being – my throbbing cock. The moment stretched and arrested. My cock, my monument to virility, exploded disgorging a million incendiaries into her womb. Cool shards of ecstasy foamed through our bodies with orgasmic delight. We collapsed back onto the bed – all spent and tingling like electric eels. We expanded into the night to become all the lovers in all the world.

 

I salute you Madame. Here’s to your brace of porcine offspring and their ashtray faced urchins. Take a drag sweet lady, there is nothing like this at sea, just sweaty hands and a quick rubdown with a wet sponge. I am a pervert. I’m a cradle snatcher – indecent and rapacious.

 

“That’s good gear” I said

 

“Where did you get it?”

 

“From Santa Clause” She replied

 

“Enough said”

 

She liked to dance and I liked to watch her dance. Her moves were purely sexual, not everybody can dance that way. She was going through a pupation; the final emergence of her sex. She was pretty basic in that she didn’t play games. I liked it like that. I had enough complication in my life.

When she’d come over we’d talk a little and then we’d cop some E’s and fuck all night. She’d dance for me and we’d dance together; then we’d fuck some more.

 

Dancing naked is a freeing experience, you feel quite exposed. You feel you are doing something primal, magical, but it’s no good on your own - you need a partner, one at least. That’s the beauty of ecstasy – it frees you up to the possibility of self expression without inhibition.

 

“Ever smoked an E?” She asked.

 

“Smoked it?” I enquired.

 

“Yeah, crush it into pipe and smoke it”.

 

“No – never”

 

“Wanna try?” She asked

 

“Yeah – go for it” I replied.

 

I’ll try anything once and twice for good measure. I took a blast, I took some more. It felt good; a thousand doves fanned my lungs and spread their soft wings across my heart. My blood surged with electrical potential into my fevered brain and pulsed in easy beats to the rhythm of my heart. Something magical seeped into my eager flesh and I felt as buoyant as a cloud. I shed warm rain from my opened pores and unfolded out into the universe like a hungry flower.

 

“This is good” I oozed.

 

“Told you” – she had.

 

“This is fabulous”

 

“It’s great, but it doesn’t last long” she said.

 

“Nothing good ever does” I replied.

 

She was candy sweet, my Georgia peach. The world revolved on  those slender hips. She lit me up and gladdened my heart. We frolicked as children in the summer sun and for one brief season we were the best of pals. But summers end in autumn leaves and our autumn arrived all too soon.

“I’ll never forget you.”

It was a bombshell. I knew it was over. She hadn’t said as much, but she was already thinking of me in the past tense. I had always known it would come. I’m a realist. However, I hadn’t anticipated the sinking sensation that gripped my heart. I took it on the chin though and kept the beat.

“And I’ll never forget you.”

 

With 20/20 I can see that it was a learning experience for us both. Our covert assignations were thrilling and instructive. She learned to wield her power as a woman. I learned to love with a lighter touch. We both received as much as we gave and I have only fond memories of her.

The days receded as summer dwindled. Things were winding down and she came around less frequently. There was no discussion, no heart-searching, no tears. We never said goodbye – she just stopped visiting. I never saw her again, but I never did forget.

 


27 July 2013

Mental

Clown

I made a cunt of myself      for no real reason    that spike through my heart    the faulty adrenal gland       sending acidic transmissions      through my mind and body    I could tear my skin off, fuck!


I spiralled on terrible trajectories     Like that moth in the bathroom     on its fatal last flight     an elongated spasm racked    and viciously surged

the reckless head load of poison      acrid in my mouth     my words have cancer     cutting words, killing words     no balance attenuated      no reason attempted     all passive strategy      lies in wait for the unwary       then pounces ferocious    Into the maelstrom, fuck you!  fuck you!      and fuck you too   


I’ll smash your face in       eat your entrails for breakfast     tear the stars from their sockets and grind them to dust    don’t come home       I started a fight      and  damaged my being      with psychotic clubs
.

23 July 2013

rubbers

Rubber

there was time to murder    down at the cemetery   where lecherous old doggers     retched and decaying    rolled off slippery with sweat and cum    having telegraphed images    pornographic in nature     to their casual hook ups     and anal slime buddies      who stood with their phones    in regimental order       their viagra fuelled members       stiff to attention

the klu klux midnight jamboree   is pursuing their orgasmic high    in a well worn car park    by the broken leisure centre     with his    or her    eyes   on tonight’s shallow prize    “we’ll go at it bareback”   declared the brassy young beastial   “so shed ‘em and spread ‘em    the devil take the hindmost   I heard he prefers his meat doggy style”

“you have a bonny mouth    lets you and me be friends      you suck real good     now put your teeth back in      the queen of sheba    is in the next motor   cannibalising mirrors    and playing the diva…”     he was expecting caviar  on crisp golden crackers    but settled for sloppy seconds     as did his lady in waiting     the unnamed bendy bird     with the black nylon hair

sometimes meat      sickens me a while     no doubt the occasional dalliance       brings pleasure to the senses    but it does nothing for my soul      so I’m going home      to an ice cold shower    that kind of love is hard on the haunches     besides the last rubbers left     with my favourite lover     but I still got her number     coz she expects meat       and I’ve got that in my locker    

 

18 July 2013

Yahweh

god_blk
a long time ago
the great god Yahweh
unleashed on the Earth
war, plague, famine, and death
in generalised semantics
those parasitic beings
called homo sapiens
bearing fatal messages
of peace, love and harmony
while they butchered
with glorious indifference
and espoused primal laws
the survival of the fittest
to justify their ignorance
pleased to meet you
you and me shoot good
we be friends
eat my gun
the end

.

17 July 2013

Flowers

Flowers

Whose grave did you rob
To bring me flowers
How much did you steal
To buy my love
Where did you go to
When I needed your shoulder
Who will you turn to
When I show you the door
.