I think I’m getting sick it’s happened to me before I’m craving drink and drugs my arse is hanging out so sort
me out a fix god’s own medicine I’m
a front line pariah in the war against drugs evil
commissars have fitted me up they planted ideas my head I could not swallow whole my
mind shattered with the impact my dharma has been soiled I’m
suspended in a state of non-being I don’t
feel human no more
I’m a debaucher a ragged old lecher but don’t cast no stones I mean no harm I’m just a sucker for a pretty face it’s a predilection verging on vice but I’m an episodic lover the imposter of their dreams my crocodile tears and winning smile conceal a fragile jaw and so my love pours out on stony ground my tortured veins and poisoned blood scream in anguish and I find myself once more battered bruised and torn alone on the backstreets of hell I must’ve taken a dirty hit or copped a bad trip coz sister I feel sick stay with me for a little while I’ll trace my steps back through the shadows into the light I’ll crawl on my hands and knees if need be but I’ll find some way back into the fight
I slipped into your purse with your matches your makeup and your works I rifled through your drawers to find your stash and I got a glimpse of your psychology you’re packed to crash and end all our fun but that’s okay you just thought of it first when I was young I slashed my wrists the scars remain but the boy is gone he’s on a rocket to the sun nothing now can bring him down
what the fuck? what the actual fuck? I mean what? someone pissed in the well and poisoned my loving cup I sprang a leak somewhere in my head my thoughts, those tiny blind assassins coursed through my mind with the seductive force of reason logic clad in gun metal I’m no longer trusted so they wrapped me in chains and set their dogs on me
breaking news! this just in… for the sake of (my) humanity they saw me stoned they had me sectioned and shaved for dissection they’d mete out measure for measure against my indiscretions coz I drink too much to always play fair and I taught myself to be a cunt so I got what was coming to me they’ll always see the worst in me but you don’t care, do you? I’ve often been good to you and you and I are square
man I’m strung out like never before my death songs bud ruby on my lips the voices of ancient lovers exposed in tender hearts and bloody groins sing the song eternal and their words breathe sexual in my hungry ears they know the sounds I long to hear theirs is the music of children’s laughter mixed with my own foolish lamentations those tears will always flow while the burden of love is loss but the love exultant shall not die together we shall make time in the choir celestial
I was high obscenely naked and high and she was low with her blows in her kicking boots her dirty snake eyed boots I would not wear such boots coz I’m an natural man
and no one poisons my well
no one bleeds me dry only
God can kill me he’ll have step
so lightly coz I never close my eyes
I rehearse my dreams and I have learned to fly
my stones are choking
this pressure is relentless
all men are cursed some
more than others most
are oblivious others have seen the
signs there’s a dead dog at the
side of the road I’ve seen that
sign before… …pennies in my eyes… …death is a constant there are no exceptions there is no cheating death through
liturgy or magic but I’m headed for
cover just the same
there ain’t no judas goat tethered to my psyche my doors are always barricaded against imposters and thieves coz I’ve been fucked before though most of my wounds are self
inflicted that war is over now I’m just trying to carve out a peace that don’t stink of defeat it’s
not a question of luck I’m already
consigned to the power that rules my fate
and it’s written in my stars
that I’ll be rolling snake eyes from now on
I learned to embrace my failings I had little choice my signature moves are suicidal but they are carved in stone habitual I’m just a foolish old man with a juvenile heart I made a compact with the devil I’d struggle all my days but they’d never be dull
I tried it once or twice
the measured banality of sacred vows and maximum fidelity but human bondage wasn’t for me I’m bone idle too lazy to play happy families no sour grapes though they fed me candy the taste still lingers bittersweet with a hint of almond
my shadow
lengthens as the nights draw in there’s
little warmth in the distant sun I’m carving names it’s tombstone season our days are numbered we know not how so, I wrote my own obituary I was generous to myself I gave all I had to give I took all I had to take my books are balanced and inky black post mortem analysis has revealed a life misbegotten in the pursuit of
pleasure I didn’t take life too seriously I took it for a ride
back in the bygone it was all lumpy gravy served hand to mouth but I rarely went without I fought bitterly for every morsel that fell from the big table what’s in a man’s blood that makes him so combative? I cultivated mostly clean thoughts in my mostly clean mind but I still dredged up the filth from time to time there were nameless troubles fomenting behind my back I had the fear on something chronic a man can’t live like that he can only slowly die I had to get a new gimmick or maybe a change of skin I have the power to do that I can always change my skin
I’m out of favour with the cognoscenti I strike too sombre a tone for the dawn chorus they say this bird only charms to deceive but old unhappy far off things tug at memory with icy hands I never truly sinned not in my heart I’m as good as the next man as good as I have to be I’m getting into my beast now coz it makes no difference to me what you think so don’t listen to my shite I’ll only poison your ears with rancid prolix and juvenile posturing but I’m just an old man with a young and selfish heart don’t get me wrong I wish you well god grant you goodness and plenty just not too much and not too close to me
I packed my metaphoricals
time to crash out this
is my last incarnation I turned indecent
shades of buddha and invalidated my warranty so they cancelled my subscription I wasn’t cut out for the worker’s paradise I don’t get mixed up in it coz I’m not sure it’s clean they say I’ve shit on the rules that
bind fathers and sons but I’m a
kindly ruin I’m archaeology don’t dig me up I want to be alone it was all in my head but long ago my missing constellations have long since turned to dust
day by day my vibrations grow thinner I best seal my books before an inspector steals my secrets man, I’m on the frayed edge it’s combat stress every weekend back from the pub a sorcerer full of secrets I can speak the old abracadabra do a little kiss and tell but I’ll bite my tongue on my long walk home I won’t mention you mum’s the word no one needs to know where our bodies are buried or who has lain with who there’s no need to worry I’m strictly confidential you can bank on my silence this isn’t my first caper and it won’t be my last people are at war with their inner dimensions and they ain’t taking prisoners this close to the front I know the pain of universal
conflict but I’m not afraid of circumstances can you smell that? our bridges are burning I’ll dance in their ashes when I’m good and drunk
