I’m once more in
the wilderness after forty days and nights of moral turpitude have left me
both directionless and very far from home this is a country with no name where the ruler is despair and mercy is unknown
I want to write about it though my thinking is as bent as my twisted mind demands so in the end I
just let it rip imperfect as it is one word follows
another a train of laden mules climbing a mountain slope and failing at each step
there's a beast that
feeds on thought deep within my gut his filthy
menacing maw lurks behind my grimaced smile his powerful bulldog jaws seize my puny words to render them in
fractured dismembered portions completely devoid of meaning
and lacking taste or form
my body aches in ways that Torquemada would approve my insides have been riven into soiled and tattered rags I’ve been scourged and bloodied for a station on the cross this is my Golgotha my season of disgust
I seem to have contracted a spiritual disease and my head has been adorned
with a crooked crown of thorns
I’m broken pierced and pinioned to a stinking mandrake
root I'm a voodoo doll a pin cushion the child of countless woes
my agonies rage right through me as clouds of poisoned gas all hope of resurrection has long since been abandoned my thoughts are totally inchoate lacking any rhyme or reason and yet somehow I endure for even though I’m naked in the ravening of my soul I am still a man and I am not alone
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