I’m caught once more out in the wilderness. My forty days and forty nights of thirst and hunger and dirty storms that blot out the sun and stars have left me directionless far, far from home. I’ve been rejected by heaven and evicted from hell. I’m so far east of Eden that the sun never rises in a land where no man casts a shadow, or leaves a footprint in his wake. This is a country without name, with no flag, or anthem – where the only ruler is the tyranny of despair. I try to climb out of my morass, but my strength is drained and my bones are turned to jelly.
I want to write about it, but my thoughts are as crooked as my twisted mind. In the end - I just let it rip - imperfect and imprecise as it is. One word follows another like a caravan of mules, none of them aware of what they carry or where they are going. - conscious only of the mule drivers exhortations and the sting of his quirt, 'moverlo! adelante!' - slash - 'rapido!' There's a beast lumbering from my gut - he devours these words like a shark taking bloody bait - his filthy menacing maw lurks behind my grimacing smile. His bulldog jaws seize their fragile limbs to tear and render them meaningless in fractured, dismembered portions.
My thoughts force their way through a sea of molten lead, each mono syllabic packet a gravity well as deep as space. I ache in places that I'm sure do not exist. Some hidden portion of my insides are folded and beaten like dirty - dusty rags, tattered and torn, flagellum stripped - bloody for the cross. My head adorned with crown of thorns - my blood stings my eyes, I'm blinded to all but the dimming of my inner light., broken pierced and bloodied - pinioned hand and foot to stinking Mandrake root - I'm a voodoo doll - a pin cushion of uncounted miseries - my agonies rage through my body and soul like spectral clouds of poisoned gas - my reason abandoned - my thoughts inchoate - yet somehow I stand - I resist, endure. For even stripped bare in the ravening of my soul - I am still a man.