regret

 

they say the brave die only once       but I die on a daily basis     a thousand killer blows      assault my memory      I recall…    …but I don’t care to dwell     the past is a foreign country     I no longer speak the lingo        all that heat and fury     generated little light        and yesterday’s dreams are darkened      by the shadow of remorse

I think I’ve exhausted my options      so I’m resigned to the power that rules my fate       but I’m not complaining       coz I’m reborn on a daily basis      a thousand minor triumphs pepper my wounded ego with compensatory prizes      I have lived a full life      and balance my shame      against affections shared without regret      coz the mystery of love      outweighs the certainty of death

Abattoir

 

I was there.  Were you?  When the stupid turned cruel and cruelty was celebrated as a virtue.  They put a price on life.  It wasn't very high.  You won't get a nickel for your ounce of solid soul.  Mother, look at the troubles we wrought.  We are dropping bombs on children.  Nothing is sacred in our philosophy.  We have made an abattoir of our beautiful world.  She is stained crimson from all the lives we have rendered meat.  There's no absolution for our crimes.  Our tears will not cleanse our bloody hands and our prayers will not stave our certain defeat.

chronic dissatisfaction

 home is where the hurt is    it cannot be denied    my abode feels hollow     emptied out inside      I know I should be grateful for everything I have      but too much is never enough for me     I can never be satisfied     this malady of the soul     is the power that spurs me on     but it’s beyond my understanding       and out with my control      I wish I could be anywhere else        and anyone else but me     coz chronic dissatisfaction is a crippling disease

beliefs

 

…and the sky god made the cosmos in less than seven days…     well, you’ll believe what you want to believe     but I ain’t buying any      all beliefs are bogus      I’ve seen the harm they do       I don’t believe in anything    but my spirit knows the truth     there is wonder in the universe       and there is magic in our eyes      but beliefs will chain our minds      beliefs will render us blind      so always follow the evidence      slaughter your sacred cows     coz there is only one solid reality      and its moment eternal is now

fondly

 did you count my steps as I walked away?        did you lock the door against my return?     take me back now to my former being       we can both cut loose      and have some fun     shed your light  on our dime store mystery       draw me a map of where I went wrong  

they say I was born with the dark charisma       that I honed that sucker into deadly charm       I carved the wounds that last forever     it’s hard to believe but I meant no harm       I raise my glass to former lovers and pray I’m fondly remembered by at least one

intent

don’t let this world

bend you out of shape

you are not a hostage

nor fortune’s fool

 

be satisfied

get better, not bitter

make no space in your heart

for slights best forgotten

 

turn your cheek

bury your hatchet

every dawn is a new world

and your heart is virgin

 

one man’s mistake

is another’s treasure

take mind to have nothing

you’d care to defend

 

if you look for acrimony

you’re sure to find it

like attracts like

that’s the law of intent 

Radioactive

 

They had to lock me up.  For the sake of science they said. The iron in my blood had turned into plutonium. I was transformed into an interdimensional being who traversed both space and time. I had ludicrous possibilities – ever unfolding in the shimmering of dreams.    They put me in the psyche ward, because I was high, way too fucking high.   They didn’t have the instruments with which to chart my design.

‘Do you know where you are?’

‘I’m in a hospital.’

‘Do you know where?’

‘Yes, here. I’m in this hospital.’

‘Do you remember my name?’

‘Should I?’

‘No reason really.’

‘Why am I here?’

‘You have plutonium in your blood.’

Cascade and eclipse.  Another sequence of nightmare realities. This place is a meat factory. They are out to get me.  I hear them calling my name.   This is a world of paid assassins cynical and cold. Down in the basement secret mind swaps create brand new fictions. My identity is fluid and slips between the angles of things too strange to ever define.

‘Do you know where you are?’

‘I’m in hospital’

‘Do you remember my name?’

‘Why am I here?’

‘You have plutonium in your blood.’

‘When can I go home?’

‘We have to defuse you first…’

Here at ground zero, my near fatal exposure has annihilated my options.  So they locked me up.  But, I’m no danger to anyone. I just need to leave this place.  I want to go home. ‘Do you remember my name?’   No, I remember nothing.  Let me out of this cage.  I don’t belong in here.  I’m just a radioactive prisoner playing stone age games of fear.

the great lie

 

punch a hole in the great lie    punch a hole for me     all government is based on lies     some more so than others     we choose our own oppressors     thank you very much      it’s the best of all possible systems      the leader told us so    he likes to keep a high profile      he’s always on TV   kicking butts and taking names      keeping us safe from our enemies    he’s the champion of fixers     a man of uncommon sense    the nation’s beset by villains    he’s going to sort them out     and in the final refinement of evil     he claims that god is on his side      

poison

 

she poisoned me with kindness        she hadn’t read my notes      my meds were contraindicated     and strangled up my mind       they sent me to a hospital        where I had to rebuild my life     they say the dose makes the poison      and blood can never lie    she put death in my veins       and shrugged as she watched me die    

criminal energy

 the game's a bogey

they cheated again

they always do

I'm not a criminal

but I have that energy

so I know a crook

when I see one

and I see them everywhere

some of them are pretty lush

so powerful they embody the state

their prices have just gone up

they were always pretty high

they can't lock you up inside

for possessing a criminal mind

but they can give you the keys

to the medicine cabinet

and the access codes

to their doomsday device

charismatic

charisma was my best defence     I never left home without it     I totally seduced myself     I may have been deranged, but I had sex appeal     you could call it vanity     but I liked to prepare my face     for the mutts I might meet in the street     I didn’t accept IOUs      and I didn't issue receipts     coz promises sell by the dozen      but confidence doesn’t come cheap    

I’m not the charmer I used to be      time presses on    the world has changed      and thankfully so have I     life is a game played by children     regrets are too punk to purchase      on a superficial level I’m still in credit     or maybe I’m just high     I never let my right hand know what the left is stealing      besides, I daren’t violate my parole with an act of wilful pride    so I let my bygones remain bygones    I buried that child a long time ago     I can’t recall just where    though I still remember why

shtumm

 

I could tell some stories      but I won’t    coz you would think I’m crazy      you might think something worse       it’s not a cotton candy world      it has some edges on it       that creates friction     conflict     conflict is the basis of all drama     I’m quite inured to drama    no, I won’t waste your time with stories      they’d only make me a liar     my life is an untold story      I cannot keep from myself