other peoples misery is delicious
they say it’s good to share… that
a trouble shared – is a trouble doubled
a secret shared is a loaded gun confidentiality is a power network your mother is an informant and your friends policemen your life is another’s gossip because this is just a soap opera and you can trust others – only to play
their parts those who betray you may have noble intentions but it’s your dirty laundry hung out for
inspection
man I’m strung out like never before this attritional warfare has shriveled my stones and turned my blood to rust I’m barely fit for the knacker's cart I’m stretched beyond endurance and wearing pretty thin I’m in a place of ghosts and shadows I can’t survive here long whatever the prognosis I don’t think I’m going home
my death songs bud ruby on my lips I’m locked in the organ factory and marked for vivisection but I have dirty blood they have to sort me out before they cut me open to rummage
about some wired quack gave me poisonous pills she said they’d do me good she said they’d get my business fixed but here I am in limbo a million miles from home I’m belting out my death songs I don’t know for how long
this is the order of my days cyclical repetitious and fearsome I’m as high as a kite stratospherically fantastically orbital I’m oozing light and heat and I’m pyrotechnically blindingly illuminated
this is the way my spirit
inevitably dives slumping toppling and
plummeting I’m crashing fast spectacularly catastrophically and terminally I’m in the thrall of some terrible force frightening
dreadful and sudden
this is the power of inexorable gravity cruel
unforgiving and devastating in consequence vertigo spirals me down I’m falling tumbling and spinning I am
a stone cast on turbulent water plunging
sinking and
disappearing
when I stepped into the light I saw the organs of my existence laid out in a daisy chain and everything worked beautifully the way it ought to be the way it always is
everything I
ever needed was under my skin I am the seed of an ever-unfolding flower happiness blossoms perpetually to the ebb and flow of love enlightenment is a cup of pure joy to be consumed in the hour of eternal
sunshine
man, I landed in the groove the new sun showered me with gifts and I’m all lit up like christmas day see me shine? I’m in the moment and the moment is eternal my thought, speech and actions are harmonised and I am perfected in love, grace and gratitude it’s an inside job I know but I pulled it off life loves me again and so do I we’re happy together now me, myself and I
my past was wicked and my future was cursed I was a prisoner in a jail of my own devising but I crawled out from under I put up one hell of a fight but I’m an individual I have few attachments that’s how it is to be free you have to sacrifice your jailors you have to crash out of their gaze and you have to keep moving or they catch you because everyone is a jailor in this fucked up world
there
is no such thing as limited freedom
it’s all or nothing don’t be
fooled by semantics they are laying
traps again but they won’t catch me
I’m too savvy to take the bait
I love being alive I love
feeling free I’m no animal to be
caged don’t they understand? if one of us is caged then
none of us are free
the
price of liberty is steep you have
to abandon society and kiss the past
goodbye you have to become aware of
your own heart for what is freedom
without wisdom without love? freedom can be the greatest of all vices
without temperance it’s not just the
power to do as we like it’s the opportunity
to do as we should
so
leave me alone I won’t tread on
your toes there’s no need to bind
me because no matter what you do I will not conform I cannot conform conformity is a prison the enemy of growth coercion captures men but freedom inspires them the fight for freedom is a personal and solitary battle we conquer the fears of today to fight again tomorrow it’s even harder to preserve our liberty than it is to win it
I don’t slave in the fields for a steady income and no-one will set me straight on tick that’s cool I know the score no credit for monkeys I bought this ball and chain might as well wear them that’s the proposition I’m all alone in my war on drugs I made for me a pair of wings I want to fly away no more human derelicts lurking in the shadows hating society loathing themselves I want paradise in my cup they have a gun to my head but I don’t seem to care I have bona fide connections in a completely different sphere
sweet beelzebub please salve this soul sort me out a fix god’s own medicine I’m a front line pariah in the war against drugs evil commissars have fitted me up they planted ideas on me that were dehumanising beyond realisation my mind shattered with the impact and my dharma has been soiled I’m suspended in a state of non-being I don’t feel human no more
his stuff’s the filth shoot it in the mainline hits like a speedball man, I was all lit up like christmas in july that was yesterday and it was good but tomorrow looms large coming off a bender this is gonna hurt and it’s gonna hurt bad I am the captain of my soul but I’m drowning in a hospital bed there has to be a resolution ahead my arse is hanging out here I’m a fucking spectacle a geek in a carnival side show
don’t ever let me go send me up for life coz I wield an assassin’s blade I’ll murder your ambition so don’t tangle with me I’m one of a pestilent hoard of nomadic
junkies waiting to invade your space best fasten your doors and screw your eyes shut you’d tear open like rotting burlap sack if
you saw what we have seen we are
fattened for the slaughter in the abattoir
of dreams
I’m a debaucher a ragged old lecher but don’t cast no stones I mean no harm I’m just a sucker for a pretty face it’s a predilection verging on vice but I’m an episodic lover the imposter of their dreams my crocodile tears and winning smile conceal a fragile jaw and so my love pours out on stony ground my tortured veins and poisoned blood scream in anguish and I find myself once more battered bruised and torn alone on the backstreets of hell I must’ve taken a dirty hit or copped a bad trip coz sister I feel sick stay with me for a little while I’ll trace my steps back through the shadows into the light I’ll crawl on my hands and knees if need be but I’ll find some way back into the fight
I slipped into your purse with your matches your makeup and your works I rifled through your drawers to find your stash and I got a glimpse of your psychology you’re packed to crash and end all our fun but that’s okay you just thought of it first when I was young I slashed my wrists the scars remain but the boy is gone he’s on a rocket to the sun nothing now can bring him down
what the fuck? what the actual fuck? I mean what? someone pissed in the well and poisoned my loving cup I sprang a leak somewhere in my head my thoughts, those tiny blind assassins coursed through my mind with the seductive force of reason logic clad in gun metal I’m no longer trusted so they wrapped me in chains and set their dogs on me
breaking news! this just in… for the sake of (my) humanity they saw me stoned they had me sectioned and shaved for dissection they’d mete out measure for measure against my indiscretions coz I drink too much to always play fair and I taught myself to be a cunt so I got what was coming to me they’ll always see the worst in me but you don’t care, do you? I’ve often been good to you and you and I are square
I was
high obscenely naked and high and she was low with her blows in her kicking boots her dirty snake eyed boots I would not wear such boots coz I’m an natural man
and no one poisons my well no one bleeds me dry only god can kill me and he’ll have step so lightly coz I never close my eyes I will not lay in pastures green I rehearse my dreams when I’m awake and
I have learned to fly
