being bad

it’s oh so good       being bad      to taste forbidden fruit    ripened on the vine       to cut from bed to bed        having a good time          it’s oh so good       being bad        so sad when it all goes wrong       love brings out the worst in us       but it was in there all along      

I’m the perfect devil        and troubles I have brewed    tell me how bad I’ve been     it makes me feel so good        everybody has a little bad in them       it’s always been the same      love can bring us ecstasy      and love can bring us shame

 

I could break away

 

I could turn it around    

(I have before)     

I could break away    

I’m ready for more

so look at me

beautiful and strange     

just watch me grow     

my world rearranged

 

I don’t complain

but the sad thing is

everywhere I go      

someone is putting me on    

but I’ve got news for you     

I found something new     

I see light at the end of the tunnel     

and poor boy coming through

psychological warfare

 

I got pills that get me high      and pills that lay me low           I don’t know which is which      I just take them as prescribed      the doctors tell me when     and I don’t ask them why      it’s a psychiatric issue    that will not be denied     what can I say?      I decided to stay and fight      I  can’t run away      much as I’d like

there is a war going on     in my living room       my lovers      my friends      my enemies       everyone wants a piece of me       I don’t say no     I just wait     if they want it hard enough     they’ll come to my gate      but if they don’t      I won’t be surprised     coz I’m hiding out      behind enemy lines     

the say it’s the end      for beautiful friends      it gets all ugly     from here on in      so stay in your homes      and lock all your doors     don’t be distressed        when no-one comes near     it’s the end of the world       that much is clear      I stole these words from the radio        it was the final bulletin     at the end of the show

badge

 

she said I wore my illness like a badge      I just laughed     she didn’t know the difference       between a medal and a badge       my purple heart       was won in the war      that has raged in my mind       for most of my life       war does not ennoble men       it turns them into dogs      I left hell in my wake       and I bear the shame of that      but I’m winning that filthy war       the glory is all mine      so I’m apt to reminisce      from time to bloody time

rabid

 

they shoot mad dogs, don’t they?     I’m afraid they might shoot me      I’m maniacally rabid depressive      vicious, vain and cruel      I’m the monster you need     to balance your truth      just blame it all on me        my victims always do     but no matter how far you go       you won’t forget me      I shoulder your guilt     and your complicity    I’m the beast you once loved      the only friend you had       in whom you placed your trust      when you were frightened of the dark

you’ve faced a lot of shit      some of that came from me      I could tell you that I’m sorry       but what difference would it make?       you’re not alone with your feelings        it’s a communicable disease     if you need a fine example       you can always look  to me      I got rabies in my soul      and a monster to appease       it might take a silver bullet        to finally set me free 

not the man for you

 you had to ruin everything

kill the magic stone dead

you have to give things names

you had a few for me

it’s too late to fix things now

but I’m sorry anyhow

you said it, and it’s true

I’m just not the man for you

regret

 

they say the brave die only once       but I die on a daily basis     a thousand killer blows      assault my memory      I recall…    …but I don’t care to dwell     the past is a foreign country     I no longer speak the lingo        all that heat and fury     generated little light        and yesterday’s dreams are darkened      by the shadow of remorse

I think I’ve exhausted my options      so I’m resigned to the power that rules my fate       but I’m not complaining       coz I’m reborn on a daily basis      a thousand minor triumphs pepper my wounded ego with compensatory prizes      I have lived a full life      and balance my shame      against affections shared without regret      coz the mystery of love      outweighs the certainty of death

Abattoir

 

I was there.  Were you?  When the stupid turned cruel and cruelty was celebrated as a virtue.  They put a price on life.  It wasn't very high.  You won't get a nickel for your ounce of solid soul.  Mother, look at the troubles we wrought.  We are dropping bombs on children.  Nothing is sacred in our philosophy.  We have made an abattoir of our beautiful world.  She is stained crimson from all the lives we have rendered meat.  There's no absolution for our crimes.  Our tears will not cleanse our bloody hands and our prayers will not stave our certain defeat.

chronic dissatisfaction

 home is where the hurt is    it cannot be denied    my abode feels hollow     emptied out inside      I know I should be grateful for everything I have      but too much is never enough for me     I can never be satisfied     this malady of the soul     is the power that spurs me on     but it’s beyond my understanding       and out with my control      I wish I could be anywhere else        and anyone else but me     coz chronic dissatisfaction is a crippling disease

beliefs

 

…and the sky god made the cosmos in less than seven days…     well, you’ll believe what you want to believe     but I ain’t buying any      all beliefs are bogus      I’ve seen the harm they do       I don’t believe in anything    but my spirit knows the truth     there is wonder in the universe       and there is magic in our eyes      but beliefs will chain our minds      beliefs will render us blind      so always follow the evidence      slaughter your sacred cows     coz there is only one solid reality      and its moment eternal is now

fondly

 did you count my steps as I walked away?        did you lock the door against my return?     take me back now to my former being       we can both cut loose      and have some fun     shed your light  on our dime store mystery       draw me a map of where I went wrong  

they say I was born with the dark charisma       that I honed that sucker into deadly charm       I carved the wounds that last forever     it’s hard to believe but I meant no harm       I raise my glass to former lovers and pray I’m fondly remembered by at least one

intent

don’t let this world

bend you out of shape

you are not a hostage

nor fortune’s fool

 

be satisfied

get better, not bitter

make no space in your heart

for slights best forgotten

 

turn your cheek

bury your hatchet

every dawn is a new world

and your heart is virgin

 

one man’s mistake

is another’s treasure

take mind to have nothing

you’d care to defend

 

if you look for acrimony

you’re sure to find it

like attracts like

that’s the law of intent 

Radioactive

 

They had to lock me up.  For the sake of science they said. The iron in my blood had turned into plutonium. I was transformed into an interdimensional being who traversed both space and time. I had ludicrous possibilities – ever unfolding in the shimmering of dreams.    They put me in the psyche ward, because I was high, way too fucking high.   They didn’t have the instruments with which to chart my design.

‘Do you know where you are?’

‘I’m in a hospital.’

‘Do you know where?’

‘Yes, here. I’m in this hospital.’

‘Do you remember my name?’

‘Should I?’

‘No reason really.’

‘Why am I here?’

‘You have plutonium in your blood.’

Cascade and eclipse.  Another sequence of nightmare realities. This place is a meat factory. They are out to get me.  I hear them calling my name.   This is a world of paid assassins cynical and cold. Down in the basement secret mind swaps create brand new fictions. My identity is fluid and slips between the angles of things too strange to ever define.

‘Do you know where you are?’

‘I’m in hospital’

‘Do you remember my name?’

‘Why am I here?’

‘You have plutonium in your blood.’

‘When can I go home?’

‘We have to defuse you first…’

Here at ground zero, my near fatal exposure has annihilated my options.  So they locked me up.  But, I’m no danger to anyone. I just need to leave this place.  I want to go home. ‘Do you remember my name?’   No, I remember nothing.  Let me out of this cage.  I don’t belong in here.  I’m just a radioactive prisoner playing stone age games of fear.

the great lie

 

punch a hole in the great lie    punch a hole for me     all government is based on lies     some more so than others     we choose our own oppressors     thank you very much      it’s the best of all possible systems      the leader told us so    he likes to keep a high profile      he’s always on TV   kicking butts and taking names      keeping us safe from our enemies    he’s the champion of fixers     a man of uncommon sense    the nation’s beset by villains    he’s going to sort them out     and in the final refinement of evil     he claims that god is on his side      

poison

 

she poisoned me with kindness        she hadn’t read my notes      my meds were contraindicated     and strangled up my mind       they sent me to a hospital        where I had to rebuild my life     they say the dose makes the poison      and blood can never lie    she put death in my veins       and shrugged as she watched me die    

criminal energy

 the game's a bogey

they cheated again

they always do

I'm not a criminal

but I have that energy

so I know a crook

when I see one

and I see them everywhere

some of them are pretty lush

so powerful they embody the state

their prices have just gone up

they were always pretty high

they can't lock you up inside

for possessing a criminal mind

but they can give you the keys

to the medicine cabinet

and the access codes

to their doomsday device

charismatic

charisma was my best defence     I never left home without it     I totally seduced myself     I may have been deranged, but I had sex appeal     you could call it vanity     but I liked to prepare my face     for the mutts I might meet in the street     I didn’t accept IOUs      and I didn't issue receipts     coz promises sell by the dozen      but confidence doesn’t come cheap    

I’m not the charmer I used to be      time presses on    the world has changed      and thankfully so have I     life is a game played by children     regrets are too punk to purchase      on a superficial level I’m still in credit     or maybe I’m just high     I never let my right hand know what the left is stealing      besides, I daren’t violate my parole with an act of wilful pride    so I let my bygones remain bygones    I buried that child a long time ago     I can’t recall just where    though I still remember why

shtumm

 

I could tell some stories      but I won’t    coz you would think I’m crazy      you might think something worse       it’s not a cotton candy world      it has some edges on it       that creates friction     conflict     conflict is the basis of all drama     I’m quite inured to drama    no, I won’t waste your time with stories      they’d only make me a liar     my life is an untold story      I cannot keep from myself

year zero

 

you’d better look sharp     you’d better stand tall      you make yourself a target        if they see you crawl      you know where we’re at     it’s not your first bloody nose      and it won’t be your last       smell that?      that’s the stench of fear     I can smell it everywhere      it’s that year zero fragrance    a bitter concoction     that’s been a long time brewing      in this war between ideologies    you’d better choose your enemies       before they choose you       they got your name and number      there’s nowhere you can hide      coz revolution is fomenting       in the universal mind

critical thinking

 

all news is fake news in this phony babylon    legacy media    alternative media     they are all products of dodgy rhetoric as far as I’m concerned    no-one tells me what to think     I bang my own drum     I think for myself and no-one else    coz it’s a mugs game     towing the party line      for those parasitic heroes who are in it for the blood     little men cast giant shadows before a setting sun      in their world of silhouettes and chinese whispers      it’s hard to get your facts on straight      don’t believe what you’re handed on a platter   do your own research     it’s not just what you think that matters      but how you think for yourself      

brass

 

it’s a little salt on an open wound      for a disappointed idealist      but then, you can’t be young and wise     the way things stand today       in the battle between bad and worse       there are only wicked people     who sometimes take opposite sides      show me an innocent man      and I’ll show you someone     who doesn’t know what’s going on      but I know the price of eggs      there’s a shit-storm  coming down      and it’s all for want of brass    

the world keeps on ending      but new eyes just don’t see it    I’m not ready to relinquish youth    if maturity means cynicism     if I have to squash the part of me that I treasure most     …the boy that still believes      better to die while my heart is young and humanity intact       coz no matter what comes next      they will not grind me down     I won’t bend with the times      I will stand my ground      they can’t bully me into submission     or buy my vote with stolen brass     

simpatico

I could have tried harder    but I couldn’t be arsed    I take things in my stride     or I don’t take them at all    we talked the house down     about man, and god, and love     how everywhere in the world they hurt the little girls     but you’re not a little girl     only your pride got hurt      you told one colossal lie     but I don’t blame you at all     we were never simpatico     I think we both know that     but I have no regrets     that I can squawk about

Jonah and the whale

 

“Now the Lord had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah…”

I know an allegory when I see one. This is a tale of redemption and forgiveness.  You better obey the Lord, because he can fuck you up. I empathise with Jonah.  I have been fucked up. When my friends cast lots against me, the world swallowed me whole. My three days and nights lasted an eternity – until I finally discerned the truth. You can take that fishy story with a pinch of salt. Don’t take any text literally. Call it poetic licence. Sometimes fictions make more sense than facts. That doesn’t make them true, they just come disguised like that. The truth part is up to you.

There are fictions we choose to believe. There are fictions we can’t see.  We might as well be blind if stories have us crouching in the dark. We might as well be deaf if we will not hear the truth screaming in our ears.   We are only as honest as our curiosity.  It’s curiosity that wields the blade with which we dissect ideas. We were gifted with minds, so that we could think for ourselves. That’s what makes us human beings. That’s what being human is. If there’s a spark of divinity in that, it was born within our minds.

Do something crazy before you die

                                 

Do you ever think about your thinking?  Is your mind just a place to hide?   I met the Buddha the other day. He was panhandling for change.  He recognised the face, but couldn’t recall my name, He said. “do something crazy before you die, “  then fucked off down the street. It had to be the Buddha -  although I must admit he’s changed.  He’s still the man I knew from a different time and place.

Do you ever think about your thinking?  Does your mind illuminate your life?  Stranger things have happened, but I couldn’t tell you when.   If you identify as sentient, you’re not alone in loneliness.  This old world is crazy. You’ll never figure it out.  Just don’t take it too personally. You’re only passing through. Try to bear that in mind whenever the world disappoints you.   It’s not just sage advice.  This here’s a word to the wise. Do something crazy before you die.  The opportunity won’t come twice

music for parties

 we’re all about the night      so go on      give it a little extra     stick the boot right in    we’ve been waiting on something special       it’s time you took your turn       let’s get out of our skins       we can celebrate together      puncture the night with song      tonight will live forever    coz the party never ends      where young hearts run wild and strong

…and the buddha makes three

 

I’m sparking up a formula     with no specific ingredients      can you follow that?     will it make any difference?      I’ve had too much to think     and now I need a rest     still, it makes the nights more interesting     to think until you think you’re full     do you ever think about your thinking?     I suggest you do     we can compare notes     you, me  and the buddha makes three    the mind is a rubber band      it’s got elasticity     when we stretch and flex    the universe bends in sympathy      I see a bird perched in a tree     I am the bird      I am the tree    when I sing the song    the song is me

crave

 

I’m strung out on everything     I can never get enough    I got this hole inside I can’t fill    an urgent hunger    deep frenzied and lustful     it’s driving me around the bend     I need something to ease the pain     like sex, drugs or liquor      something that will get its teeth into me      the remedies lie close at hand       but I’m not gonna let that happen       I won’t let it consume me       I’ll turn this ache into energy      coz it’s an itch that I can never scratch     heaven knows I’ve tried    this constant craving  cannot be sated    it’s a bitch to the very last

dreams

 some dreams are terrible     some dreams are sacred      their fragments alive only in memory       she treads through my dreams with delicate feet     I pursue, but I never quite catch her        she rides on the breeze - just out of reach     I dreamed she was here last night    I did my best to be appealing      she glowed in appreciation      how I enjoyed putting out the charm      and watching it connect      better than putting out fear and watching it twist with calculated effect     

I’m a kindly old ruin    or so she said     a man with no soul     an ancient plumed serpent with come to bed eyes      I was designed to produce offspring like every other creature     not cower in the suburbs shining my dick     I’m now sixty four     and coming of age      (about fucking time)     I’m no longer afraid      just too old to do much about it      perhaps I’m too aged      to still cut the mustard      but a man can still dream     if that’s all that’s left him     a man can still hope     that dreams can come true

precious

some cats take the hump      at the slightest provocation      they expect to be offended      in fact, they must be offended      it’s a form of self defence       something they learned when they were young        they think they’re pretty tough       because they make a fuss       but then, everybody’s tough      until they take a kicking       the knowledge of certain death     will concentrate the mind     on the important things in life    

some cats cultivate an air of sobriety     it’s not so easy to offend a sober mind      I have spilled some wine      but I was diving for pearls     I used to think I was precious         until I stepped off the edge of the world     now I have nothing to defend     I no longer take offense      it’s a queer kind of freedom      that sets a man against himself     but  I see every aggravation as  a personal test    coz my enemy lies within     if that makes any sense

anthem of the heart

 is this my reality?    did I bake it myself?     or was it imposed on me?      I have to know where I am     or I won’t find my way home     and I’ll have no place to sleep       when there’s sleeping to be done       I have to know what’s mine and leave the rest alone      whatever path I take     I’ll keep a piece of myself apart      coz I was born a singular being      nothing changes that      but everything I do    becomes a part of me     so I never steal more than I can carry     

I followed the ideology of sex, drugs and violence       but nothing gulfed the chasm I felt inside     love was supposed to cure me of that      but there’s no honey in any philosophy that advocates slavery     I march to the sound of a different drum     the freedom I seek lies within    where a revolutionary heart ignites my conscience       I’ve heard many different singers     interpret this same song     they often change the lyrics      but they seldom get it wrong

another false dawn

 it’s early in the morning    and I can’t get myself straight     too many dead people in my bed     they will not let me sleep     lord,  deliver me from evil      deliver me from dreams      take me where the grass grows green     and a man can find some peace    I fear the devil stole my shoes   and sold them to a priest     now I walk and talk the blues      but I can’t find no relief

a king without a crown

give me a mask and I’ll speak the truth      I don’t need anyone to turn me on     I do alright on my own     I don’t have a dog in this fight      so just leave me alone      there’s chaos in the system        we’re all out of order     every life is on fire      all we wanted was a pot to piss in     but the shame was on us     when the seventh seal was broken     silence dawned in heaven     the fascista flag was burning      the sky came tumbling down      we required a human number     for a king without a crown

love the sinner

 I’m not really tired       but they say a rest is as good as a change     so, I’m off upstairs     where the stars might anoint my eyes     with a billion kisses     that hopefully sew my eyes shut     and send me happy dreams       I’m rolling over into tomorrow       when I might get some relief

I made a deal with god     at least, I think it was god     it was dark      and he didn’t speak     but I’m holding him to it      or I’ll cancel my subscription      my demands were quite reasonable      I need a little peace     I’m working on my memoir     the diary of a thief     in part a work of fiction     it outlines my beliefs

I’m not a holy roller      I don’t really believe in god      I don’t believe in little green men     or anything supernatural     but it’s part of my naïve charm     to believe preposterous things      I believe that words are magical      that music is sacred      that facts are often fictions     and fictions are as powerful as facts    I believe that love is the only agency      that can save humanity

I can love for no real reason      without knowing why     or when    or where     or if it is proper     or even appropriate       I could open up      as an ever blossoming flower     to love in my imagination     or with my flesh and bone     the universe conspires to bring me love     for there is madness in love     that’s why madmen make the best lovers

you have to love the sinner    even if you hate the sin      I have previous convictions    I have loved too much     and I have loved too little     I paid my debt to society     my heart’s been broken     I bled out for a bit     but I learned to love my enemies      and I’m prepared to loathe my friends    love can turn you inside out     there’s no room for caution with love     I’m ready to let it kill me      because everyone will take a piece     but some are worth the pain

loveless

it’s gonna take a shovel      to dig me out of this     but I’m easily worth the effort I’ll be putting in     I haven’t slept for days       I’m sick and off my gruel      but it’s goodbye baby blue      I’m so over you     I found a new direction      I’m never coming home      I’m a slave to my ambition     I just want to be alone      

azrael

just send me home   I don’t want to be alone     grant me asylum   give me sanctuary    bandage me with kisses     nurse me heart and home    lay me down in the tall grass    somewhere I belong     may the angel of death smile on me    spread her wings  and sweep me off my feet    deposit me in that promised land     where I can get some sleep

 

suckers

 I’m sick and tired of your filthy business     disgusted by the new killer deal    things ain’t adding up     but then they never did      you got the best excuses      you’re a parasitic being     who’d set the world ablaze      just to reign over the ashes       you promised us rain     and a land of milk and honey     but you’re just a grifter    working the long con      and you can’t believe your luck    the world is full of suckers     and you’re the emperor of the suckers       as everybody knows

truth

who needs truth?    it tastes too bitter      people don’t want truth   they just want illusions they can live with       I don’t have a dog in this fight     I’m not looking for truth     I don’t believe in truth      unless that truth is love   

I suggest you switch off your subliminal mind fuck devices     and stick your nose into your own business      you’ll find acceptable answers  there      but you’d best keep them to yourself       don’t pass them off as truth    coz there’s no such thing as truth     unless that truth is love    

all change

 today is not the day       but it’s closer     I can feel it       we’re on the cusp of change      everything can change       we shape the world we live in      it changes with our thinking       if we do not cast our skins we die      and so we must continue       we discarded our humanity today        we will reap our tears tomorrow

a time of monsters

 in a time of monsters       I’m struggling to stay sane       things are all fucked up     and make no mistake       we could wind up anywhere      and I fear we will      folks who live in glass houses      are gathering their stones      they plan to fight alfresco       in the streets and city squares      the first denunciations have already been logged     it’s just a matter of time       the death of society      is only a heartbeat away       it’s every man for himself       in this cruel new economy

 

individual

I know your game     you’re trying to drag me in       but you can’t get next to me    coz your words are just fireflies      they flash real pretty        but I can’t get a grip of them     you say your crimes were circumstantial         that you’re older and wiser now      and you’ve served your time     but still can’t catch a break      you’re in a rut      and your cage isn’t getting any bigger       you say we’re shaped by experience      maybe     I don’t know    I’m just another layer of fiction      I’m not my daddy       or my daddy’s daddy       I’m the child of intent        the one who committed the crime      I want to take the stand      I know  which words to say      I struck a match in my life      and burned the bastard down      but I rose from the ashes      gloriously formed       a trenchant individual       who swims against the tide

rodeo

this is not for me      the autumnal rust of gradual decay      I want another bite of the cherry please     call me greedy     call me immature      but I’m willing to adopt an attitude here      I’ll show you something you can understand      they ripped the wings off my guru      for flying too close to the truth      they won’t do that with me    coz I tell too many lies       I’m ready now to live   straightjacket calm      and tooled up with mental dynamite      but this ain’t no goddamn rodeo       no, this is a fucking zoo       there’s chaos in the monkey house    and I can’t get with that      I think I’m going back     to a simpler place and time      to treasures I once buried      somewhere in my mind