memories

 you touched me where I ached      and took away the hurt     we were light and shade      and created the moon and stars       from our tangled sheets      with hungry groins and mouths        our sex was existential     every moment     every touch     conquered death     our cups were overflowing    with raw orgasmic love     we were naked and newly born     washed clean by the rain     completely unashamed

you are the one dream my lonely soul desires        my first and last taste of immortality        do you think of me that way?       do you celebrate our memory?       they say the richness of our lives      lies in our memories      you were the lyric to my melody       and I care to remember  words I dare not speak      for love has just begun      and we two are as one        in the kingdom of my memories

 

special delivery

I’m unloading another consignment  of hard luck stories and therapeutic chemicals       I require further instruction        on how to get my business fixed       I fear myself in these dark hours      suicidal ideation  is a singular ideology    can you sympathise?     tell me you can sympathise…    

rain drops pitter patter       on my naked skull       some call it torture        others call it rehabilitation     there’s a health service plan     to gather my stones       and give me a pounding      but I won’t be compliant with the violence that breeds conformity       

they say I’m bad      or at the very least mad     but it’s my life     I won’t let them shape it      I won’t let them squash me     with their power trips  and lies     the whole world is singing the same dismal hymnal     the melody’s familiar     but the words need revised     

just stay away from me        my hurt is contagious     I’ve been devoured by my sickness        they’re saying I’m crazy         but I’m just impoverished    and that’s just too bad       but it’s no big deal     so don’t bring me down with your suburban mores    I’ve lived outside of convention for most of my life     

manic

hear this?   I spark to this tune      I love this tune     I love everything     do you feel that energy?     I feed off that energy      my friend told me she’d swallowed lightning      I know that feeling      I’m loaded with electro-ecstatic potential        everything    every-fucking-thing     speaks to me      every sight and sound     drips heavy with significance      all of it combines and coalesces into the shape of man reborn   mother nature’s son    this world is pure euphoriant      I’m operating at impossible altitudes    steering by cosmic intuition    I’m a silver arc of flight  in the stratospheric blue

but on the flip side    and there’s always a flip side    there are terrible days lurking in ambush    days of rabid desperation    where callous motivations tug at my loins    when violent energy pulses through my sleepless nights     and a carnival of monsters fester in my mind      there are thoughts I keep to myself     thoughts I dare share with no one else      they would only paint me red     but that’s the curse that keeps on giving    I am become a beast    my face has turned to stone    I died an unnatural death   many times ago    but there’s no peace for the wretched      no place for hope in hell    

crazy

this soul is at odds with the world     because the world is phony     and so am I  but at least I know      the world is still asleep     madness is the only freedom left me   madness can be intoxicating     and illuminating      I was touched by lightning  when I was young      and took on my shoulders    the madness of the world        reason had betrayed me    but I saw clearly      that all life is a dream      and we are all just dreamers     wrapped up in our dreams   

everybody is crazy       it takes a madman to know that     because wisdom is madness unchained     everything we do is crazy    conflict is crazy     and hatred is crazy    and love is crazy too     all passion leads to madness      its darkness smothers millions      with a blanket of anguish and despair     the most beautiful things are born of madmen    and the most terrible    they concentrated evil and put it into bombs     they drop them on people     in the name of love and peace     if that’s not fucking crazy     I don’t know just what is

 

satyrs and nymphs

the lingering scent     of cheap perfume     and spearmint gum      the bitter aftertaste     of latex and spermicidal fluid    the compensations of the flesh     all that folding and unfolding   pressing and heaving     on wretched sheets    

I remember the face     but not the name     we were eyeball to eyeball     but eyes sometimes lie     and tongues can deceive     I grant all my lovers     a sleepy benediction     we are all free of sin     in moments of passion     it’s a stratagem that’s seldom in error      no strings attached     and no comebacks please

I grant no repeat viewings     of my dirty treasure     I know where you’ve been    I’ve been there too       but you’ll want to know     they always do    so I’ll tell you some tales     for your delectation     depravity lurks in the purest of hearts     but libido is damned   by  jealous manoeuvres     you ought to unwind     and just let it come

the tentative half impressions     I weave from the bedclothes     promise gaudy revelations     that flee from the light     so I’ll crack on now     before the daybreak creeps in through your window    like an angry policeman     demanding confessions     and enforcing strange laws     that no-one believes in