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8 February 2021

mao tse-tung

it always rained in my hometown    the streets were slick as shit   beneath a toxic orange sky     where young aspirations  were squashed     each day at school   and dreams were all but murdered    when last orders came around    it was a place of broken promises     there was no explaining why

the dead    and undead   living    in the shade of the refinery   would pray each day to heaven     to deliver them from evil    but keep them in a job   to put meat on the table     and maybe save a couple if quid     for the saturday night debacle

poverty means crime   and crime means poverty   our lives were pressure cooked    in that bloody cauldron    violence was the release valve    and fearsome reputations   were forged in blood and gore    the mythology of violence      was part of our folklore    and we never questioned why

but we are the vital component    of the military industrial equation      living in barrack towns   hatched and batched as fodder    for some obscene machine     we have universal access    to the theatre of distraction     but we have no power over our lives    and we are forced to fight and toil     for other people’s pleasure 

it seems many may have settled     for criminal poverty      while others have been crying out for change    they don’t know what it means   but they know that change must come      that it will take a revolution   and there is no war   without blood   because all  political power     grows from the barrel of the gun

 

6 February 2021

love bomb # 5 (covid blue edit)


where is my vodka   and the nubiles that I ordered?    I need a filler for an empty bed   some-one to sooth me   and help me negotiate the lockdown    I don’t need love   or anything transcendental   just serve me sexuality    and make it a big slice    it’s been a lunar year    since I tasted something nice   back when I still had lovers   in a former paradise

I appreciate the science     but the science is killing me   I’ve been walking around in circles     in something of a daze    and I’m dying to reacquaint  you    with my secret ways    so why don’t you come over   clandestinely    and spend a couple of days

I’ve been waiting for a woman   who will not run and hide   to come to my amusement park      and take a forbidden ride    so say  you’ll come on over    later     when it gets dark   it’s a breach in regulations    but it could just be the spark    that detonates our love bomb    and gives us both a lark

5 February 2021

section eight


I don’t make the rules    I don’t even follow them   perhaps that’s where I went wrong     no fucking discipline      some have called me crazy   but that’s open to debate   when they opened up my head   to take a peek inside    they found I was haunted by a demon of conscience   and was inked bloody with the stains  of unforgiveable depravities    you never know what secrets lurk   beneath the surface of a man’s alleged insanity    believe me when I tell you   everybody is crazy   but most just don’t realise it  

I slay the beast every morning   and every fucking night    but they don’t give me medals    they just give me pills    and send me on my way     it’s a wild and torrid wind that blows through my skull    and on any given day of wonder and of peril there will be a fearful storm    I’ve had a lifetime of bastard storms   and I demand a reprieve   and maybe stronger pills    from the very top shelf please   I have forsaken a peaceful mind   to make war with the beast  

thinking of the life I’ve led   the desolation I’ve endured   and the meagre mercy I’ve received   I feel weary   I feel heavy in my bones    when I brood on all of that    and the way I sought nourishment    with casual lovers and liquid fire  and then those sorry times  I was more beast than man    when the madness   the sheer fucking frenzy   fuelled by my boiling blood     raging with pathos and fury   would shame me to the core

 I am truly tired of the burden I must bear   I could weep    and sometimes do    when my heart simply cracks and my brain implodes     I am the most pathetic excuse for a man to ever shed his load   but the sickness which afflicts my life     does not define my soul    or rob me of my humanity    would you dismiss me as a crazy man?    don’t you ever feel the same?    have you never felt alone?


1 February 2021

the villain

I hear that you never tire     of spreading the bad news       and I’ll happily play your villain     on any day you choose       I heard what you’ve been saying      and some of it is true    but I never put down anyone     in the cowardly way you do    

I’ve nearly always done     just what I wanted to      while you’ve relied on others     to tell you what to do      of course I have regrets     but they are so very few    I’ve lived to be free     that was never true of you

you are so deeply pious      but you haven’t got a clue     and I refuse to be consigned     to live the way you do     we were once good friends      but you possessed a jealous heart     you wanted what I had     and that’s why we had to part

you’ve been casting stones      but always from afar      you know deep in your bones       that’s the kind of man you are      you talk behind my back    but never to my face      is it courage that you lack?      or just any sense of grace?    


31 January 2021

leaden

 

the margins are minuscule    in this cruel season       it’s hard enough to raise a buck    never mind a smile     I sing with the crows     and bathe in the dark     cold fibre is scant reward     for all the bareback adventures     and romantic misdemeanours     that blot my copy book     (kudos to the phallus imperator)

my chapped lips      and  caffeine smile     reveal there’s fear in my monkey     his silver tongue and leaden heels      have me hobbled in the blocks    those softer metals conduct static       directly to the brain pan      and my blood’s impurities      leave a tell-tale stain on the inside  but there’s no point in concealment     no-one gives a fuck what’s written there anyway