rodeo

this is not for me      the autumnal rust of gradual decay      I want another bite of the cherry please     call me greedy     call me immature      but I’m willing to adopt an attitude here      I’ll show you something you can understand      they ripped the wings off my guru      for flying too close to the truth      they won’t do that with me    coz I tell too many lies       I’m ready now to live   straightjacket calm      and tooled up with mental dynamite      but this ain’t no goddamn rodeo       no, this is a fucking zoo       there’s chaos in the monkey house    and I can’t get with that      I think I’m going back     to a simpler place and time      to treasures I once buried      somewhere in my mind

 

another revelation…

 the following message contains profane language and subversive rhetoric…

do crazy people worship insane gods?      where is the great psychiatrist in the sky?    I just realised I’m in the middle of a revolution    no-one knows what the fuck is going on       another weary year drags its sorry arse  through the exit     I’m tempted to follow it      but I don’t have the stones    the worst thing that happened to me last year     was myself      I have failed again     but perhaps I failed better

I want to play a dangerous game      I want to change    they say if you change your mind     you change everything        I’m just the fiction my daddy copied from his daddy      surely I can improve on that shit storm     the moral of the story is clear     I’ve been    ordinary    and I am bored     I’ll staple that to my knackers    and let out a roar       concoct a story     that conceals my embarrassment    or confess      confess     according to my sins     and seek absolution      with blood wet on my hands  

we all do what we want to do     eventually     and we all get what we deserve    I was promised an invincible summer    burning somewhere in my heart     maybe I’ll sing it out until I feel better    I’ll know when my moment comes    I’ll just take the reigns     and make it mine     anyway      I’ll own the real world whenever I see it       I’ll tread with angels to speak the truth       and strike a pact with my idiot god     he understands my madness    because he’s mental too     he issued a manifesto     of troublesome delights    where says he’ll set the world on fire      if we don’t meet his demands

 

bauble

 in the spirit of the season    I wish you peace, love and understanding     I wish it for myself too      coz I always dragged the low end    until one day    I ran out of grievances       now I’m just another probationary human being      trying to do good     when I can afford it     and I can afford it     more often than not       but I’m unfit for a society      that’s unfit for me       I’ll always be a criminal   a heretic   a fool

I’ve been searching for something that has no name     so what was it I wanted?       I think that I’ve forgotten     there are words     and then there are words      but words alone won’t suffice       and I won’t be losing sleep      over secrets I keep from you     it’s evident that I think too much      you may think I’m high      but I’m just pretending     I emptied my mind into a bucket     and found this bauble fomenting there

zoochosis

I often drag the low end     as does anyone in bondage    but I’ll be exalted in heaven      when they read about me in the papers    so lend me your patience      coz right now I’m busy grinding out grievances     just another caged bird festering behind bars      a captive mistake in the world of injustice     

this cruel prison is an assault on my soul     a daily degradation of my higher being    I pace a cell full of creature comforts     where I waste and wither      day after day    I have to stifle the urge to attack my captors      and end my confinement       with a reckless dash for freedom     coz I have the ambition     to take everyone with me     and bring down the system      that keeps us all enslaved

kung fu

I can bear your scrutiny         if you can bear mine      after all, we’re cousins     and guilty of similar crimes     I lashed out in pain      what’s your modus vivendi?      were you driven by fear and greed?       coz you rolled right over me     but you did not hear me cry     isn’t it strange that you find me       just as you’d want me to be?        I had to love myself in self defence      because you wouldn’t do it for me       I crafted myself a shadow       to mirror my every move        you know it looks more like you than I      I mislaid it in the dark      what does that thought signify?

only the dead know peace

this could be a confession    anyway, it might as well be true      I heard this story     oh, what a story       and it fused into my mind       with the promise of unlimited potential      now I’m all ramped up    for the final oblivion    conflict seems predictable     depends how far you’ll go      in defence of your illusions       I don’t give a damn       I got jesus on my side       there’s a force in his story        that will not be denied       I’ll put it in a nutshell        there’s nothing left to fear     but people never listen   they’re still wielding sticks and stones      it’s enough to break your heart      but only the dead know peace      and I must live with that

killer

 everybody’s crazy for power     and power is all they need      me, I’ve got surplus energy    I got it coursing through my veins     I’m a mini hiroshima       I’m an improvised device     I’m going supernova    right in your fucking face     this a spontaneous detonation       I have become a killer      my love has turned to hate     I walk a murderous path      with violence in my hands      and anguish in my heart

live now pay later

 I’ve battened down my hatches      I’m now fully submerged        into my approximate cliché      am I drowning?     don’t tell me I’m drowning        is this hell?     please  tell me we’re not in hell     is this the niche that's carved me?      the petty bourgeois hero     of countless banal fantasies     panhandling for change in the world of broken actors        

 the inner eye never lies        and I can read my chart       I was high on the great deception      but I never had a dime       my life just flushed before me         sixty years a loser     and always arse deep in debt    but I’ve been informed by my sponsor    of a happy ever after    coz there ain’t no paupers in heaven       and there ain’t no tally men either       seems  like folk in heaven     are having a hell of a time

cockroaches

this is cockroach  weather      the season of decay      I’m staying indoors – less cosmic radiation       it’s the rays that wear you down in the end       ultraviolent    radioactivity     desiccates the flesh     and leaves the husk behind     but my body is a temple    secluded and derelict         hidden in the shade

I read somewhere that life came to this planet on comets      I wonder how it will leave      they say that when we have finally fucked this world up all that will be left are cockroaches        maybe that’s all we do that’s of any significance         we feed the fucking cockroaches       the true masters of planet earth

you can’t kill them with pesticides or atom bombs     there’s evolutionary excellence for you – to eat shit and never die    unless someone flips you on your back      the cockroach god is waiting for accidents like that      I saw this movie once where cockroaches learned to impersonate people     it turned out to be true     there are billions of cockroach people     who look like me and you

thermodynamics

 oh man   this is too easy    thermodynamics    natural flight     I’m just a snow flake     in a snow drift    just breezing along    at the speed of light    that’s me     skyjacking    eight miles high and climbing    there’s good news     spreading through my body     good news     unfolding in my mind    I’m turned on to something fantastic    but how long can I soar     before I must crash and burn?

the beautiful life

 sometimes it takes an age       for the penny to finally drop     it seems I was the last to know      that I carry the weather in my head        and can only make hay       when the sun shines        this life is short        and that's a fact       there will be pain     you can count on that       I got the call up        to become a believer       but their words are just moonshine     for the gullible and feeble     I could appoint a personal saviour       or simply save myself     and do the world a favour      I might become a human being        or go on toiling as a beast       without ever seeing      that the beautiful life     is the only life worth living

 

valediction

 I fashioned this cruel distemper        from accursed fleshy instruments     and dark intentions        I bit the hand that bled me        and poisoned the well behind me       it’s too late to throw a blanket on my grave          I’m frozen root and thorn        a few will sing my praises        many more will mark my passing             with revelry and scorn

I was the author of misfortune           I was callous and unkind         I was a drunkard and a lecher        a bloody handed sinner         who left no stone untroubled       in the pursuit of a good time         I’m a criminal by nature        and now I have been caught         so commend me to the cold dark earth        without a second thought