if my people were called by name

once upon a weekend     I’d like to get fucked up     with all my fucked up people     have them come over    for a totally fucked up party    deeper still    I need a positive connection     coz I’ve been in unhealthy situations     on more than one occasion   my people kept me straight    at least they tried to keep me straight   coz I don’t always listen     and that’s as it should be     for an independent man

we are judged by the company we keep    my people may seem shady     maybe even a little crazy    but I can vouch for their credentials     they have my back     and they’re alright by me   naturally our appearance     is luridly discussed    by ornery screwfaces with bovine brain pans    I don’t care what they say   my people are heaven      my people are heaven on a saturday night

aphrodite says

there is no god but love   all other gods are false  those wrathful and  judgemental gods   are only demons of our own design      we are motivated by fear     to fashion jealous gods in our own image       our superstitious hearts have made a pact with evil     to sacrifice our peace      for the sake of hatred and avarice    but love makes no demands at all     because there is love in every human heart     surrender yourself to love      your faith will surely follow love is heaven    an estate of the heart      it’s all we ever wanted    it’s all we really need   we live in the orbit of love    from the cradle  to the grave      we are never alone     we are never without love      it’s our natural state     we are meant to walk in the light of love

 

fear

 fear is the prime motivator     the key to our closet      everyone has the fear on     it’s our natural state      it’s all we’ve ever known     fear is the killer       the raw enemy       fear cuts like a knife     into the root     into the soul        fear is the teacher of bitter lessons        fear will make you foolish      fear will make you wise       everything you fear    you draw to you      that’s the power of intent    the true nature of human calculation

everyone is afraid of something        and that fear is loss      loss of face       loss of love     loss of life      we are ever in the shadow of our fear       but that’s only natural      our fear is the harbinger of terrible things       fear is the worm       that feasts on our minds      fear will be your master     all the days of your life       unless you learn to accept loss      and face the inevitable       you are not long for this world      and neither is anyone else

bonfire

 you keep heaping up grievances       don’t you love me no more?      I try not to be offended     there’s no point to it      no one pulls my strings      I already cut them     I didn’t ask to be you       and I won’t dance to that tune      the sun speaks my name     I don’t need love letters       I feel her warmth when I touch the sky      but I don’t feel yours        not in the flesh     where it counts    your love is dead     from unnatural causes      you squeezed your stones until they bled        and made your compact        with some ordinary devil      he bought your lunch    so you feel like you owe him     but I wasn’t there     and I’m not bound       by promises you can’t keep        heavenly tides     turn and return      morning through to night       the seasons tread those waters      and so do I      it’s our autumn now     you can gather my leaves      and make a nice bonfire        you won’t see me again       but you can keep my memorial ashes      if you so desire

serpent

 if my maker casts a shadow        does it ever fall on me?       am I a good man?    I don’t imagine so       where’s the reward for all my sins?          when are they going to kill me?       they broke me     more than once     but I’m stronger for the mending      will they kill me now?    haven’t I sinned enough?   they’ve killed the good and gentle      they killed the true and brave     why leave me to live?    I suppose they’ll get around to me       when they are good and ready

I’ll be waiting   one eye open    bolshy and defiant    sometimes living is an act of courage    but there’s some consolation to be found      in suicidal ideation      I must have thought about killing myself a thousand times     but I still cherish life     I must be crazy   I go on carrying a burden a sane man would gladly discard   mad    because I loathe my being     nevertheless I’ll hold fast to the serpent that devours    until it has eaten my heart away    no   I’m not death’s willing ally     I won’t relinquish my life so easily

burglars

 I caught you picking my pocket    but I didn’t seem to mind     I could easily trip out   in the orbit of your smile      so dummy up lover    take me by the hand     let’s walk together in pastures green    do you feel like getting high?   I have some sunshine      burning a hole in my pocket      I smoke too much        I drink too much   I love too much    but we’re here to perfect our passions   the greatest adventure      is a voyage of discovery       I fell for you      while watching you dream      now we’re wound together      like siamese twins     feasting our hearts     on beautiful lies    and who can condemn us?    we play a glorious game       we’re burglarising heaven        and that’s the perfect alibi

the bad shepherd

poor boy is dying by degrees      I had a quick shufi at his credentials    while his guard was down       his guard was always down     I saw he was empty inside    he’d drowned himself in fire water     and easy options     one of these days      he’ll get himself marginalised        into an early grave     I showed him a little distance      he won’t fall on me      I got troubles of my own       and limited time and energy      I’m not unsympathetic really    but don’t call on me if you’re drowning      because brother I can’t swim

honest john

I could have been a big time dealer     a crooked politician     or a rock n roll star    but I’m a two time loser     with comic book credentials      that stink of soured dreams and dirty linen      I’ve been a naughty boy again     I soiled my character      with another unfortunate truth       they say you don’t have to apologise for the truth       that the truth speaks for itself        well, the truth is obscene        it’s just another lie      a big shitty lie with sprinkles on it        we live in a world of lies      we cling to our sacred deceptions      swearing by almighty god     that the account we shall give      shall be the whole truth       it don’t bear thinking about        but I do     I think about it constantly       the truth is a terrible thing      and I’ve sickened of it     so pluck out my eyes        stop up my ears      shield me from the merciless truth      with beautiful and comforting lies 

point blank

 I’m sick and tired         of feeling sick and tired       but it’s far too late now        for a Hollywood suicide     I can’t catch a light       there’s  too much lead in my blood       I’m heavy as a deathbed confession     my heart is  a loaded gun     everybody loves a loaded gun     there’s power in a loaded gun      empires were built with loaded guns      but it’s all a little cringe       when you scope it up close        naked in all its nauseating  detail       you see a lot more from your knees      in that point blank moment       when your life suddenly fails       coz you were murdered by your friends      

art

 I feel the need of infinite love    and very often find it     within the ebb and flow of the turning tides   in the ocean of my heart    sometimes I’m totally miserable    sometimes I’m euphoric     I get low      I get high     it’s a  cross that I must bear    but I’m not defined by my defects     you can’t use them against me      because I’m a work of art     expressed in bold strokes of light and shade       a spectrum of pleasure and pain     creativity and passion       and when all my colours fade to grey     I still have music inside me     there is no power in heaven or hell     can ever take that away

democracy

everything speaks to power     and power’s been the primary object    of every human discourse     since the world began       what do you think of me now?       do I meet with your approval?      have finally said something      that you can understand?      out in street they’re saying  that democracy is coming     but they’ll settle for a placebo     it’s the theatre that matters     in this spectacle of life    if voting made a difference they wouldn’t let us do it     because all political power resides with the ruling classes       but it’s a tale of bread and circuses for the ordinary man

hagiography

dark and shameful secrets    occupy my mind      there’s poison in my politics   madness in my plans       I’m a killer in my dreams     an assassin with a smile    I have to get with the program      I have countless graves to fill       I’m a prisoner of my past    my memories haunt me still    the propulsive power of mania     illuminates my plight     so dial me another doctor     who ain’t afraid to fight      who’ll salve my exquisite pain    and shield my innocent eyes    till I find a place in heaven        where no-one ever dies      I may have spoken with angels        it might have been a dream      we’re talking about a world     where nothing is as it seems     but I have to believe in something      it’s a basic human need