I’m sick of life in the hobo jungle I’ll have to concoct an escape I’ve marshalled my resources my charms and brittle toys but nothing’s ever real so I’ll keep my place wait for my moment you don’t need an excuse to be poor you don’t need a uniform to fight in the war but you need a little faith to help you through the night it’s a long way from cleaning windows but it’s hardly sunny side up I’m like you I have lived in the odd moment and I remember what you said in your little voice you said “I think I’ve had enough, so thank you and good luck” I didn’t require your ministrations I expected no gratitude for mine but I could have used your hand these last ten thousand miles
4 June 2024
28 May 2024
I thought I won the war
I have a hard time waking most mornings I have a hard time sleeping most nights but I dreamed I won the war and everything was alright there was dancing in the streets and I saw myself on TV but that was sometime yesterday I only own today
when I get low I
get high they can’t take that away what do you make of a man like me? I got one foot on the platform the other foot on the train I thought I was me for a moment but I’m somewhere back in time I thought I won the war but it was only in my mind
23 May 2024
instrumental violence
you can’t control me now you’re no longer in my scheme I’m not afraid of you you won’t hurt me again there’s nothing you can do nothing you can say I’ve had enough of you and your brutal ways you call your aggression justice and my resistance crime I’ll no longer play your victim just as I’ll never play your thug but if you think I’ll be a bystander then you can think again there are forms of subtle violence that breed conformity I will not acquiesce to them you won’t get that from me
21 May 2024
northern lights
I hear the jets tearing across the sky they’re on their way to hell peals of rolling thunder the muted cries of death I’ve had my share of sleepless nights but I’m at home in the dark and home is where the heart is, right? sometimes I think about dying I think of little else I’ve gone transatlantic I’ve learned to fly myself I’m drinking what you’re drinking neat scotch the drink of free men the red eye to oblivion I ripped a hole in the night my dreams came tumbling out
13 May 2024
maggots
I’m not feeling too clever today someone shrank my knackers and obscured my true identity I’m out of bed or so I think It’s still dark outside but it’s darker in there’s a hole in my bucket I’m leaking spiritual energy but I’m rid of her and she’s rid of me summer died, she blamed it on me I don’t hold that against her we both know I have it in me you see, it was easy to smile as I lied easier than the taste of fear and shame but it feeds the worm inside and he’s a hungry maggot the guardian of my psyche the one who’s in control here I am fucking, eating, grunting I’m just rotting meat in a garbage can maggots rule my world my maggots have a master plan it’s called metamorphosis on the other side of heaven they’ll have sprouted wings and they’ll be planting eggs in the fertile ground of my decomposing mind
12 May 2024
snitch
…and where am I now? I’m in the glasshouse again and where are you? you’re home and dry open the window and breathe in that gloom it’s that kind of night in that kind of room don’t touch me now you’ll catch something cruel I love you some I hate you too but you didn’t bring me down I did that to myself you drink like a thief one eye on the door I should have seen you coming I’d have spit in your eye coz nobody loves a snitch or trusts a fucking liar…
6 May 2024
hip priest
he smiled and smiled as if he were willing to play the villain if necessary and that’s the way of it in my neighbourhood he was slightly fleabag you know the type vaguely disaffected stinking of skunk and sweat he spoke low and slow didn’t give away too much he played a private game no one knew it’s name all human suffering resided in his eyes but he didn’t seem to care he was nearly clued in almost wise his were written memoirs pen and paper torn from life he was veteran of some ancient revolution but he wasn’t a victim he was a survivor he’d seen thousands like me eager to impress with my vacuous knowledge but he was a book closed to me “…nothing matters anymore, the war was lost long ago… …I stopped resisting the flow and learned to let go… …it’s not the best of all possible worlds, but it’s the only one we know…” he was an individualist and if he ever got lonely he didn’t let on he’d been weathered smooth by millennia of dust and rain I was an acolyte - he’d send me to the shops but nothing he said was news to me nothing he said seemed real
5 May 2024
looney tunes
ever since the funny farm my self doubt is crippling it’s an existential funk bipolar flavour I’m just a mirror to a world rotten with mediocrity I’m a television head I’ve abolished the dark of night and bleached my brain with photons my thoughts are merely the regurgitation of twenty four hour programming I’ve lost all sense of the real I’m a cartoon man moulded in a cartoon world I manage my appearance and the illusion of individuality but there’s no such thing as real there are only layers of fiction and that’s all folks that’s all she wrote
25 April 2024
semiotics
back to square one early doors the milkman cometh my war against sleep wages on I’m sick again wretched with it my mind is in meltdown there’s no silence left not with the newsflash the commercial breaks and incessant chattering idiocy of the internet there’s little sense to the information age we’re in it for the money we murdered god and filled the void with primetime cheesecake this culture is universally flaccid a succession of fragmented sensation and random nostalgia I’m sickened of it I overdosed on signification I’m puking my guts up on the swirl of empty meaning back to square one early doors the milkman cometh…
24 April 2024
nobody
I won’t make a difference in your life I won’t make a difference in mine I have no power of attorney no higher authority the world will turn without me in it I have lived as other men lived I’ll die as they have died before me without meaning without purpose directionless, and ideology free life is an abattoir no-one escapes the jaws of hell I tried to build a heaven in the void of existence all I got were horrors and imprisonment in solitary confinement
I can breathe is
that a sign of life? I have the
classic zombie profile shambolic and
loathsome it doesn’t really matter on a cosmic scale - nothing ever
matters I have wrestled with god and
lost there’s nothing left to try I’m a machine a machine of flesh and blood my rage was pointless my prayers misdirected the universe is cold and relentless yes, I’ve been swimming with sharks
again it’s risky, but I have no
choice they won’t leave me alone
23 April 2024
it’s all in our imagination
don’t know about you but my heart ain't in it this is not my idea of a good time hard knocks tough questions tougher lessons... excuse me I lost your signal I phased out heavy-lidded a little stoned vulnerable to kryptonite went all buddha for a moment the sun the moon the sky never said I had a better way there is no clearer route than your own heart
you were mindful
for the moment you kicked your shoes off and danced and you scoped me out with
the most exacting eyes gripped
with power and wonder can’t you
hear the summer calling? she calls on you by name she didn’t want to be alone she remembers the things we used to
do drunk on nectar in the season of promise it’s all in my imagination is it ever that way for you?
21 April 2024
asphyxiation
love is a mutt that follows you home an overfriendly guest with a huge appetite still, it’s your dime… and it’s better than being alone… isn’t it? well, isn’t it? or are you too tall for love? too proud to stoop down low? would you rather be a master than a slave? well, love makes slaves of us all some say love is life and indifference is death surely it’s better to serve something anything than suffer that gradual asphyxiation?