Vertigo

I’m sick and tired

of feeling sick and tired

I have my head

between my knees

the nauseating vertigo

has me retching

in violent spasms

but with no results

I’m running on empty

nearly flat lining

so I hit the floor

and eat dirt

just a small portion mind

I’m watching my weight

I got the heavy gravity

so open wide

while I disgorge

yet another can of worms

I’m speaking an old tongue

the language of pain

I’ve had instruction

from the stoic brothel

where they sold insularity

and phony self denial

but I can’t hang with that

there’s a canker at its heart

because we are all liars

and creatures of the flesh

who make virtues of our vices

and vices of our virtues

Ashes

there are billions

of death-watch beetles

gnawing at the heart of the sun

there are cockroaches

the size of cadillacs

eyeing up your stuff

darkness descends

this time it’s terminal

no dress rehearsal

no curtain call

we all saw it coming

but we were enthralled

I’m tuned to the misanthropic

my fellow man is no use to me

it was his backsliding

brought us the curse

and flushed us down the crapper

which is where we belong

there are no acceptable excuses

in the information age

ignorance is the only crime

you were all forewarned

but you was somnambular

and would not heed the call

now you are crying

cause you aint got no home

you pray for your children

in the future you secured them

you promised them paradise

but bequeathed them ashes instead

.

In Silence

I tried to buy my way out

negotiate a new deal

I’d been bouncing cheques again

but it was either that, or steal

I’d had enough

I was all tapped out

I had nothing left to give

of that there was no doubt

all the ghosts of yesteryear

were gnawing on my bones

I attempted new directions

but they had me by the stones

I had to cull the innocents

they were getting on my tits

a killer needs no reminding

of the crimes that he commits

I’d been heavy laden

and running low on luck

they told me it was karma

but no I longer gave a fuck

all my gods where slain

by my legions of petty tyrants

but I had to take the blame

and bear that shame in silence

Freedom

I shall not be shamed

by another’s words or deeds

shame is the quirt of fear

and fear is the prime motivator

for the reinforcement of ego

and the production

of personal mythology

but I’m consigned now

to the power that rules my fate

there’s nothing left to fear

in the face of certain death

I am centred now

on myself alone

and on the accumulation

of personal power

I stand as singular

and without form

I don’t require validation

I have no points to defend

I sacrificed my pretentions

and freed up the space

between myself and the world

I’m gathering momentum

as I shed my skin

I’m polishing my connection

to the man within

I’m well practiced now

in all my directions

I know where I am

and never lose my way

I always point in the same direction

towards the abstract goal

that some call freedom

Sharks

I moved in short term

with the rhythm section

of the collection crew

I got no musical vibrations

but with a beak full of sugar

I’m a fucking metronome

relentless and industrious

regular as clockwork

and thorough in my executions

finesse was not required

they only wanted a bagman

to carry their bad news

I chow down good

I always clear my plate

‘cause you never know

just when you’ll be without

working with the collection crew

you see all kinds of mistakes

and how they can accumulate

but I’m all dummied up

and completely confidential

when it comes to individual cases

you slot your secrets in your pants

they might pay dividends one day

we are the shape of the real

your terminal destination

and we lay the hard edge

to your unspecified nightmares

those inchoate fears of yours

originate in our kitchen

where we cook up solutions

to your specific problems

and collect the promissory notes

you issued in your ignorance

we are the remedy to ambition

the murderers of dreams

.

Do Not Resuscitate

there’s no will left in me

I’m so fucking tired

I took to my grave

these birthing pains

sometimes prove fatal

poor boys and sinners

can fall by the way

I’m crashing out

of corporeal duties

just bury me shallow

in case I grow restless

and hang up a sign

saying do not resuscitate

before judgement day

Windswept

I wrote words for you

they were stolen by the wind

and never reached your ears

but I wonder if you felt them

and if I’m feeling yours

Blood Oath

I’m the catalyst of chaos

I’ve passed the edge of reason

and have my monster rolling

from dusk til dawn and back again

for I have banished sleep

there’s no place to lay my head

and no comfort in my bed

I have a system wide vexation

between them winding sheets

I’m the prince of petty tyrants

the harbinger of death

I shall not be dissuaded

I swore upon my dagger

that I’d have my pound of flesh

I vow upon my blood

and vouch it with my life

my mind is firmly set

and I cannot let it rest

I’m the locus of despite

the calculus of treason

I have laid my bloody plans

and keep my killing stones

sharpened and in reach

there’s nothing you can do

to escape your sorry fate

I’m going to get to you

no matter what it takes

I’m the demon in your nightmare

the villain of the piece

I already dug our graves

for I made a bloody pact

and cannot be released

and when this war is over

I still shall not know peace

I’m hostage to my savagery

and a servant of the beast

Mayans

it was the edge of science

on the boundary of belief

the sky was inky starless

but we were aqua marine

and folded in our sleeves

where we shielded our eyes

from the mystery

of an unscheduled eclipse

I seen moon men

sliding down the walls

the carnival of chaos

pervades my waking dreams

I’m sick, real sick

fetch me a doctor

the world of playground killers

and routine atrocity

has gotten me down

all I want is to feel a little better

but what’s the point?

it’s the slow pressure that kills a man

the acceptance of futility

when he stops fighting

he starts dying

when he starts dying

he forgets how to live

Jesus weeps

time runs out

entropy wins at a crawl

the dying days of planet Earth

the doomsday curse

a million extinct Mayans

can’t all be wrong

Power

she said the right things
she wore the right clothes
took the right drugs
read the right books
and listened to the right music
but she wasn’t right for me
there was something about her
that made me feel uneasy
she was too eager to please
her every action was
designed to gratify my needs
you’d think I’d enjoy that
but you’d be wrong
I felt caged by her love
I had all the power
and it proved a burden
.
we had a friendship
that caught fire
it was a matter of time
before we got burned
the love we shared
had a gravity of its own
it began to drag us down
it had to end somewhere
and it ended badly
one rainy night
it simply dissolved
she said she hated me
I didn’t doubt that
she wore her love
like and open wound
it was bound to leave a scar
.

The Ninth Life

on the journey back

from the crematorium

silent and heavy hearted

I saw a dead cat in the road

its ninth life had been dashed

on the black tar macadam

it looked like it was sleeping

but I knew that it was broken

and was never going home

they say cats have nine lives

while men have only one

yet a man can die

a thousand deaths

before his days are done

.

Wonders

my grandfather

that beautiful old man

shared such treasures with me

tales of adventure and discovery

in distant dark continents

and the cycle of the seasons

in the land we called home

he named the constellations

and revealed the golden ratio

at the heart of nature’s symmetry

he always maintained

that the universe was made

of those little treasures

he passed along to me

and that knowledge is a jewel

to be prized beyond riches

he was not a wealthy man

some might call him poor

but when he left this world

he had bequeathed me wonders