a smattering of raindrops pepper my window panes their ragged trails are bleached by another thorazine moon a thousand dark misgivings are nesting in my brain a swarm of ravenous locusts are wheeling on the wing there’s space beneath the blankets I’m slipping through again strange fruit and poplar trees I’ve seen this place before I’m talking to some woman I sense that she’s a friend I seem to know her face but can’t recall her name the local boys are rowdy on tonic wine and beer I’m peeling away my skin it’s a reptile house in here I can hardly breathe I’m running out of air someone is calling my name but I don’t seem to care I’m all fucked up again a little worse for wear is what’s inside leaking out? is what’s outside crashing in? I tore these words from the paper and pasted them into the void it’s a menagerie of countersigns a procession of disjointed images that could signify anything but most likely don’t it’s the dark side of morning and no one gives a shit most of us are sleeping perhaps I’m sleeping too maybe this is a dream I hope it is a dream cause if this is just a dream I could make an escape I could dial myself a ride and terraplane away
28 February 2024
24 February 2024
denial
some lies are more useful than facts some facts are too hard to bear I’ve often indulged to excess in sex and drugs and wine and lost myself in the labyrinth of my fickle polluted heart of all the liars in the world the human heart reigns supreme but then it’s easier to disseminate falsehoods than it is to tell the truth things are made to happen somebody makes them happen so never do anything you can’t later deny surely facts mould fictions and the truth is often eclipsed by something more convenient these are not just words this is my religion I am my own god here to drink and fuck and fight and my truth is beautiful even if it’s hard to swallow because the truth feels like an insult to people in denial but let me tell you this there is one great truth there is one great lie they amount to the same they can both be denied
23 February 2024
teflon
I won’t cry foul I never was a victim I play the hand that’s dealt me and accept the consequences so go ahead and cast your stones no one is above criticism but some bear other’s faults jealous tongues spread bad news and magnify the false but I’ve broken no earthly law save the laws of prudery I sleep wherever I’m welcome and reap whatever I sow my critics only strengthen me their inhibitions make me bold my difference is a source of pride I’m unaffected by the crowd but if I walked a mile in their tight shoes I might just hate me too I’m a libertine by nature I never followed rules and I refuse to be held accountable by puritanical fools
21 February 2024
morning glory
I’m tumbling out of bed lit up like christmas day swept up on the surging tide of sexual energy deep within our hearts we long for ecstasy a tornado of desperate happiness that sweeps us off our feet when did you last feel euphoric? when was your moment of bliss? teach me how to love you show me what you need because I loved you in the darkness a secret in my soul but now we’re meeting flesh to flesh I’m losing self control
19 February 2024
the son of heaven
some folk never know well, you can’t say that of me I knew exactly who I was though others couldn’t see just another working class chump pretending to be free so why should I play the fool when I have things to say? the cat has my tongue and my flies are undone maybe I’m better off this way I’m uneasy with this silence I prefer my electrical storms I broke the root of my sorrow with a well timed show of force it amounts to sleight of hand but I’m better for the change since I placed the stars in orbit and gave them all new names the sun will rise and fall to the rhythm of my heart my love will be reflected in a billion rays of light now can you imagine that? I’m so grateful to the spirit for the fire that burns within because I’m the son of heaven delivered from human concerns and absolved of worldly sin
18 February 2024
thieves
the first theft was an apple I hope it tasted sweet that was a long time ago now everyone’s a thief I was glad to steal for you and you were happy too was that just a little extra gravy? or something heavier still? in hindsight was it wicked? would you rather beg than steal? is it a curse to have a conscience? does your conscience bother you? you reveal your state of mind in everything you do right and wrong good and bad the mirror in your heart reflects the world you see a cat might have to steal just to make ends meet you’ve got to put food on the table and that shit don’t come cheap each of us is a fragment of an imperfect world heaven and earth are ten thousand things but we are thieves and nothing else here is the fruit of knowledge stolen from the vine if you would perfect your being you must master your desires or learn to think like a thief and steal everything you can whatever your dharma holds you’ll come to understand all roads lead to consciousness it’s part of the master plan
17 February 2024
the relations of production
the hand that gives is the hand that takes money is our god make no mistake they say money talks and money makes sense but the game is rigged at our expense we’re taking names and talking shit laying blame and sick of it our parasitic system has left us helpless and alone but the rich will always prosper their progress is well known they tell me this is natural the rich are rich the poor are poor it’s just the way it is the dynamics of the system defy analysis but our labour is the price for the little we can save we’ll labour for our living we’ll labour to the grave we’ll grease the wheels of industry for our paltry weekly wage
16 February 2024
let me be
day breaks bleak and hard my head is fit to burst I hate waking up in the cells I’m nobody’s hero now I can’t account for myself but I know that I’m still beautiful in a ragamuffin way I listen to my heart I let it speak for me there’s no mistake in nature and there’s no mistaking me I’ve broken many laws in my efforts to break free so lock me up again throw away the key break me on the wheel or fuck off and let me be
15 February 2024
fraternity
after forty days and nights I’ve come in from the wilderness to make my bed where the wild things sleep naked and alone but I can bear the load coz in my story I am free but makes me so certain? what does freedom mean to me? well, I’m not free enough and I’m not satisfied where’s the peace of mind I was guaranteed when I cut the cords that bind? I cultivated a little space on the edge of society coz I’ve lost faith in people as they’ve lost track of me I’m something of a misanthrope it cannot be denied it was learn to love my neighbour or find a place to hide
10 February 2024
Las Vegas
my stones ache in the morning but that’s par for the course I’m doing jack shit and I almost regret it coz you can’t retrieve lost time and that don’t buy no sleep I could use some sleep I’ve been dredging the low end for forty days and nights I could tell it like it is but I would sound insane I bet my wages on a lightning strike but I struck out once again I’m eating crow for breakfast but this is chicken town I need to find a new game before the landlord comes around so I’m heading to Las Vegas to get my business fixed pump me a few while I wait for the bus this old dog is learning new tricks
cities on fire
cities on
fire
in the
republic of sorrows
cities on
fire
in the land
of the free
cities on
fire
where the
dark horse rises
cities on
fire
far as the
eye can see
we’re
talking London and Chicago
we’re
talking Memphis Tennessee
I got
gasoline in the car
take a ride
with me
cities on
fire
across the
planet
cities on
fire
it’s our
destiny
9 February 2024
tyrannised
I guess I’ll tend to my own troubles and you can tend to yours don’t talk to me about feelings I don’t want to talk about my feelings I want to scream and shout about my feelings I want to roll them all up into one vicious ball and ram it down your throat so you can scream about it too we could scream our skeletons loose we could scream ourselves empty we could scream until we are free
your sympathy offends me I’ll have none of that I’m pinned up on a meat hook but I’ll suffer no pity from acquiescent sheep I’d
rather play the devil than earn a
place in heaven I’d like to burn it
down and erase it from my heart I’ve been tyrannised with love for more than long enough I’m
not asking for forgiveness I’m just
not ready yet I don’t want to be blessed if I must be content
shrouds
tell me brothers and sisters how well do you sleep? do you lie down gently with acquiescent lambs? or run in terror with ravenous wolves? do you follow secret paths known only to your heart? are the thoughts that await you there a burden to your mind? because we abhor what we fear and we fear what we don’t understand that’s ok just don’t think about it avert your gaze hide your eyes bury your fear somewhere deep inside where it will learn your secrets as it festers in the dark the lord of death knows each of us by name he nestles in our sheets as we sleep and we walk with the ghosts and spectres he sends to haunt our dreams
we’ve been to some dark places that’s the topography of life this world is made of fear and death there is love of course but that’s just on the surface deep down we are motivated by fear and our greatest fear is death but if we give it no name perhaps it will go away like a bad dream or a spell of rain it’s
three in the morning we’re wrestling angels and losing again but we’ll keep up the pretence as long as
we can there are burdens enough with
the coming of day we’ll shake off
our shrouds as we roll out of bed in
the land of the living there’s just no room for the dead
7 February 2024
archaeology
poor boy was a loner poor boy was a shadow he’d been banished from the tribe because he had this one weird gimmick you could say it was his calling poor boy used to dig up ghosts he found ghosts everywhere and people didn’t like it the ghosts didn’t like it poor boy didn’t like it either but he was obsessed with his ghosts he was so obsessed he became a ghost too and gradually faded away soon to be forgotten but I’ve seen him by the canal and on the viaduct too in the company of ghosts in the melancholic gloom
6 February 2024
bipolar distemper
the blunt edge of depression rolls across my portion of the sky it’s gonna rain again nobody can gauge when or why somebody help me I’m coming undone we all have secret sorrows I’ve had enough of mine I woke up into a nightmare I might never sleep again some have wounds that do not show but they bleed they bleed from the soul I’m not helpless – I’m hopeless they call it suicidal ideation my life is a burning building I may have to jump it’s burn or dive there is a terror beyond falling the choices here are stark
bipolar distemper is a side effect of living and living is a disease with one
cure and one cure alone I
won’t cry in public I won’t rend my
clothes I’ll weep on the
inside I’ll weep from my soul there’s no comfort to be had no magic pills my soul carries more scars than living tissue this is not sadness sadness will pass like the common
cold this is cancer a cancer of the soul I feel so ashamed to carry this burden I’ve done something wrong something so huge I can’t even comprehend it the devil has hold of my soul and from where I sit now he’s welcome to it