seek out the devil

 

I turned over a new leaf     it looks the same as the old leaf     I think perhaps I’m living the only life I can     I tell you folks I’m trying       but it isn’t going well      I reckon I’d be a better man     if I wasn’t so fucking poor     I tried so hard to be good     but I didn’t have it in me      so I keep to myself     it’s simpler that way        

I’m not a complete arsehole     I’m still  able to feel     I suffer little children      their hungry mouths to feed     but somehow I feel impoverished    I’m talking financially     coz it’s money that people worship in this society         well, I’d rather seek out the devil     and keep my conscience clean     than participate in a religion    so inhuman and obscene    

promiscuous

 

back in the flower of manhood     I thrilled to a strangers touch       I was easily aroused     a look could be enough     fidelity did not appeal to me       it could only get in the way       I’ve been called a dirty dog     but I’m a dog whose had his day     

I don’t miss the one night stands       it’s cruel and selfish game      I was lost in promiscuous regions      I loved to screw around   the wicked require love too      and they’re so much better at it    they say experience counts    I couldn’t possibly comment      

meanwhile; back in my gymnasium    we coupled in the dance of shame     and with satiated lust   the cycle began again   there was little purpose to it    but it was too delicious to refuse     the Saturday night excitement     the Sunday morning blues     

catastrophic

 

I don’t think I’m dishonest      I only told one lie    I told it with conviction    I told it many times    they tell me I was wicked       for doing as I liked    but everything is permissible       if  you’re prepared to pay the price

all things are basically cool      until of course they’re not      I sometimes had to detonate my nuclear device      the power that moves my heart      is pounding out new stars      my love is catastrophic     it could tear the world apart

everything I did      I did in the name of love     I would not go without      I was an emotional junkie whore     with a gaping hole     at the centre of my soul     all my days I hungered      afraid to be alone     I wasn’t the only one     I had accomplices      but I’m the one they fingered     the one who took the blame

lunatic soul

 

I flashback on a doomed trajectory     having survived alone    in the kingdom of ghouls     my bad blood had caused a derangement     I thought I had died and gone to hell       I found myself in unfamiliar surroundings      harvesting dreams that tasted of tears     I was trapped in a hospital that felt like a prison     praying that someone would answer my prayers      I made it home but the margins were slender     I’m still in the thrall of that living nightmare     my mask has slipped to reveal my defects      I look like I'm healed    but I'm not really there

treatment

 

it was bad news all round     I’d been punished for my crimes      they put me in the hospital     to sanitize my mind    it felt like I’d been damned    condemned to a living hell      it altered my reality      though no one else could tell    it was a sorrowful dark experience     as ugly as it gets     I’m so I’m grateful for the treatment        but I haven’t recovered yet …