amnesiac

 

you would not have known       to look at the cover      but the binding was faulty      the pages were loose        some were lost       others were stolen     ripped from my story       by counterfeit physicians      who erased my memories     with clumsy fingers      they burned the best ones in their incinerator       that’s a whole other me     lost in my blood      down  the fucking tubes      down the darkened corridors      through the forbidden wards     into the soft and cozy confusion      of retrograde amnesia

being bad

it’s oh so good       being bad      to taste forbidden fruit    ripened on the vine       to cut from bed to bed        having a good time          it’s oh so good       being bad        so sad when it all goes wrong       love brings out the worst in us       but it was in there all along      

I’m the perfect devil        and troubles I have brewed    tell me how bad I’ve been     it makes me feel so good        everybody has a little bad in them       it’s always been the same      love can bring us ecstasy      and love can bring us shame

I could break away

 

I could turn it around    

(I have before)     

I could break away    

I’m ready for more

so look at me

beautiful and strange     

just watch me grow     

my world rearranged

 

I don’t complain

but the sad thing is

everywhere I go      

someone is putting me on    

but I’ve got news for you     

I found something new     

I see light at the end of the tunnel     

and poor boy coming through

psychological warfare

 

I got pills that get me high      and pills that lay me low           I don’t know which is which      I just take them as prescribed      the doctors tell me when     and I don’t ask them why      it’s a psychiatric issue    that will not be denied     what can I say?      I decided to stay and fight      I  can’t run away      much as I’d like

there is a war going on     in my living room       my lovers      my friends      my enemies       everyone wants a piece of me       I don’t say no     I just wait     if they want it hard enough     they’ll come to my gate      but if they don’t      I won’t be surprised     coz I’m hiding out      behind enemy lines     

the say it’s the end      for beautiful friends      it gets all ugly     from here on in      so stay in your homes      and lock all your doors     don’t be distressed        when no-one comes near     it’s the end of the world       that much is clear      I stole these words from the radio        it was the final bulletin     at the end of the show

rabid

 

they shoot mad dogs, don’t they?     I’m afraid they might shoot me      I’m maniacally rabid depressive      vicious, vain and cruel      I’m the monster you need     to balance your truth      just blame it all on me        my victims always do     but no matter how far you go       you won’t forget me      I shoulder your guilt     and your complicity    I’m the beast you once loved      the only friend you had       in whom you placed your trust      when you were frightened of the dark

you’ve faced a lot of shit      some of that came from me      I could tell you that I’m sorry       but what difference would it make?       you’re not alone with your feelings        it’s a communicable disease     if you need a fine example       you can always look  to me      I got rabies in my soul      and a monster to appease       it might take a silver bullet        to finally set me free