black
blood the rancid shit comes from
deep in the bowel that’s a
sign a deadly
sign of cancerous infestation
some vicious invader eating at my guts that’s slow
death death by
maggots incremental relentless
I know from the
pathology I’m hanging in the
balance I only have ounces left to
live but don’t we
all? we fend off creeping
rot with lacerated hands and shrieks of
denial not now please
not now but if not
now when?
my intestines are
home to numerous
infestations and inchoate
hunches I feel things with my
gut the way you might feel with your
fingertips or your love pump
my skull is packed with stained sheets rare scatological
exhibits and stolen graveside flowers
my public
decomposition has burgeoned to insane dimensions I have become a
spectacle for leering jaws and wagging
tongues I’m making manic with the soapbox
prophets where I stand subordinate to my
monomania awkward in my anaemic
droplets frantically attempting
regeneration through my psycho reflex
nothing
corrupts a boy like a father’s love a few blows here ‘n’ there some bruises a
little blood and a thousand
humiliations cause you're a useless
cunt you're shit you're a prick an’ you’re fuckin’ thick words that once trampled my heart like his big work boots his filthy ugly
boots
I
sought a place in the shade closer to
the cool earth while fire poured from
the sky but it wasn’t as harsh as
his words there was a butterfly
illuminated in a corridor of light it was nothing very special an ordinary cabbage white but it was beautiful to me I’d have gladly flown away with him but I was rooted to the ground and couldn’t fly as yet
you know that stony cold silence the morning after a beating? that fragile feeling softly trembling the queerness in the gut when the ebbing throb reveals the broken incestuous jaw of the sacrificial lamb in a garden untended and filled with nettles
it’s a
mouthful of blood and a handful of
hair nothing to write home about no need for tears it’s not as if it matters even then I knew too much to take too much to heart
