screaming

I see my own private babylon      sinking with the sun    everything is fucked     I’ve got to let it go     I’m just not cost effective      so they put me out to pasture       now there’s nowhere left to hide     everywhere stinks of shit     it’s the tyranny of conformity      at least, that’s what I think       but who taught me how to think?       the devil makes work for idle minds     I ought to learn to sing        fill my throat with love     I could act like I never knew     but we both know       it’s not enough       unexpressed thoughts?      I’m having one now        can I be blunt?       I’m in mourning      all my dreams have died     I don’t know what else to say       it’s hard to think straight     when you’re screaming   

bed

 seen from bombers      we all look pretty small     they tell me liberty’s a bust       and this world is a dangerous place    so I think I’ll stay in bed      I’ve been hollowed out      and I’m an unholy mess      but now    more than ever     I want to survive     but not at any cost      I’m still a human being      my love is not a burden to me       it’s the reason I go on       my politics are principled       my  heart knows no regrets        but the people here are fucked        yes, I might just stay in bed

bovine ergonomics

are we shaped by our peers?    do I even care?     yes, I suppose I do!   is that really you?       is this really me?      no absolutes necessary       but I really prefer my shape      as freely expressed     beyond  the constraints of society     down in the motion of the ocean     so deep and far away      

I don’t fear the depths      no,  I fear the shallows     that slender existence       measured out to the bovine      coz habit carves the unreflective into  inchoate    ignorant    tyrannical   monsters      that’s why I swim somewhere far upstream from the defecating herd      and their bullshit conventions     you could call me heretic       black sheep      blasphemer     that’s just the ruminant tribe       trying to pin me down

golgotha

 outside the city walls     in the place of the skull    heavy handed men       carve idols of their fears     and project them on to others    sister, take it from me      don’t get involved with them       they’ll be the death of you       it’s not hard to spot the monsters     coz we are all fucking monsters     so don’t think about jesus     he’s not thinking about you     you’d best circle the wagons     coz no help is coming      the legions of chaos approach    the road to golgotha is slick with their tears      

erased

I no longer participate     I only observe       I’m a changed man        since my last trip to the funny farm      did they tamper with my mind?    did they erase essential memories?     I wouldn’t know     would I?       if I’d been shot full of holes       by medic pistoleros     with their snake oil medications    and heavy metal therapy      I can’t say just how     but I tell you I’m changed      subtly diminished    I stand in the shadow    of my former illusions       who I am now     I just can’t recall     

punk

 in the pageantry of youth      I mixed my own colours     in iconoclastic fashion        and I’d be the boy to smash things up        but I was in it for the long con      softly softly catchee monkey        patience gains the day    I made busy doing nothing    or something close to nothing     of course if they catch you doing nothing      they pack you off to the job centre     for a heavy dose of conformity     I can’t complain      not out in the open     maybe if I’d been a bad boy…    but I was too lazy for a life of crime    I just wanted to lay in bed all day    exercising my autonomy      standing on my rights     subverting authority     withholding my labour from the babylon economy

outré noir

it’s ten seconds to midnight     on my doomsday clock    it’s time to kill     but not for kicks      it’s time to kill      to get things fixed      I was afraid   I had to hide     I crawled into a bottle      where something dark and lethal lurked     an ocean of bastard monsters    blossomed in my heart    see, that’s how darkness wins    it’s trapped in the core of our being      hidden but obvious

rage

I fucked up     there’s no denying it     I lost it for a moment       and I’m sorry now     did you ever get the rage?      do you ever harbour savage intentions?     I know what it’s like       when I get blood in my eyes     I won’t quit until I’ve made a complete cunt of myself       I have to get a handle     on my anger     that’s easy to say from where I live      in the kingdom of crazy

I’m not a bad man      but he had it coming      we all have it coming sometime     you know I was never in his gang      we were opposite poles     in the old neighbourhood     fear binds the herd      but I’m not of the herd     I’m on the fucking moon      here I rant    and rave   and rend       when you push the right buttons fear turns to rage      mister, I need a drink     I’m on fire      my blood is red hot     don’t come near the fallout zone    I’m full of violent potential      coming to the boil

 

psalm

we shall be as chaff     before the earth gives way    our tears shall run dry    before the oceans do    the world will still turn    without our pushing      life will go on as before    no great change    will mark our passing     the pain of the world    shall not end    with our departing      but shall go on long after      we have ceased caring

 

snuffed

they say the fear of death       stems from the fear of life      I don’t know about that     but the knowledge of death      gnaws at my heart       drugs don’t help       prayer don’t help     crying don’t help     nothing helps      nothing blunts the sharp edge of reality      somebody walked over my grave       it might have been me       there have been omens       deep in my gut     something bad is coming       something with no name

no-one knows just when the axe will fall       or what will follow     when I’m sacrificed to eternity      will flowers sprout from my rotting corpse?        will I be in them?     is that my immortality?     I want to die beautifully    gracefully      but I’m afraid     does it hurt to die?      will I go to hell?      or will I return in another guise?      it’s autumn now      the nights are drawing in     will this be the winter of my life?      will I see the sun again?

we are the apocalypse

after the light   the darkness spreads    it’s growing colder now     from the ocean’s edge    there comes a ripple and a sigh    the world is hushed    no clamour of humanity    no birdsong    just the cruel wind    stirring the dust   all living things are silenced     the war is over     we are the apocalypse     and we have arrived     

say uncle

 it’s in the nature of things      that I sometimes drag the low end     but I have to go with the flow      ride the waves of life   and if I fall behind   I must swim harder   hold fast to my dreams    coz if I gave up my dreams       what would I have left?   I can’t resign in protest      that would be defeat   another little death     what good is a life     that consists of a series of little deaths?

it’s a question of mindset    I say yes to the moment     capitulate with reality    let it work for me       not against me       at some point in my life     I learned to surrender to my path     it’s was a process of abandonment      not control     joy lies in learning to embrace the world as it is    so I yield to the tides    even when they break my heart   but I’m not drowning    I’m floating    waiting for the next great wave      to carry me away