you believe what you want to believe but there’s no life in tablets of stone and no philosophy that fills your stomach there is no dumb eternal essence no spiritual spark that electrifies the synaptic gap we speak ourselves into being and our language articulates ideology we are the vassals of whatever ideology we call common sense there are prohibitions that control our actions and procedures to improve our ideology
“no-one fucks like that”
she said “unless they mean it”
I had given it
full expression
and I had meant it
in the heat of the moment with the fire in my loins but hers was not my
circus I treasured my
freedom and would not relinquish
it just because we were
good in bed
“what’s wrong?” “don’t you fancy me?” her eyes searched mine I averted shamefaced
my silence was evidence of my guilt I didn’t know what to
say the feeling just
wasn’t there well
that was my story and I stuck to it
that was the story I told and told over again until I forgot it was a lie it was a story of
innocence it was far from the
truth I have two glass eyes and a silver
tongue I can lie with the best and often do but most of the time I only deceive
myself with my selfish acts of
betrayal
