don’t you
miss it? the speedballs and reefer? the fantastic highs? the tragic lows? no, I managed to keep my shape
but it was an accident I came
out whole as something less than holy I defied the world and it crushed me I’m stuck in my shotgun shack my bindings are undone I’m hardly worth the salvage from the scrapyard of my mind
when I was
crushed by the world others were
crushed by me you couldn’t call it
fair but I would come down
heavy on whoever was around me wherever
I happened to be …when I was a monster I had a tune in my head I called it my death song I couldn’t switch it off it nearly drove me mad but
when I came down heavy that
song was all I had
I’m in a
hurry I’m always in a hurry I want my pudding I want my pudding now I need instant gratification and a billion dollar high I’ve got the hunger something
chronic I
took a bite out of the world I nearly swallowed it whole it tasted so damn good and now I want some more
She claimed to be a friend
I had no reason to doubt her
She said she knew where I lived
and where my secrets were buried
She knew the best time to kick a man
is when he’s on the ground.
It seemed a friendly encounter
until she showed her hand.
She said, “You wear your illness like a badge.”
I replied, “No, you’re wrong, I wear it like a medal.”
She said, “You seem inordinately proud.”
I said, “Because I’ve won a thousand battles.”
She said, “Those battles were only in your mind…”
I replied, “Those are the battles that are hardest
to fight.”
I identify as
human but ’ll admit to bogus
credentials mine is an assumed
identity I’m really not the man that I
appear to be my history is
fiction I lack a legitimate story on which to base a life
my whole façade
is plastic it takes on many forms it conceals some dreadful truths I do my best to hide I’m a divided man with all the heartache that implies there are wars I wage in secret that cannot be described
