fiction

life is not about finding yourself       it’s about creating yourself        coz we are fiction      all of us      just actors on a stage     yes, when you deep it you realise      we are all entertainers       penny ante actors        in some dismal third rate play        some of us are villains        some are victims         some are star struck lovers       others tragic heroes       it takes actors of all casts         to tell the human story        in this rainbow of chaos      we are never short of fictions    fictions are  abundant and  beautiful    but I wonder if we gave up the  freedom is to be what we really are    have we traded in our reality for a role      did we give up our ability to feel in exchange, for a mask

 

holding up the sky

we were not born to toil      to eat     to sleep   and die          there must be more to life       than consumer goods       and cut price holiday flights      in the old days       there were old ways     and we held the spirit     close to our ancient hearts        and the world was young       and we were strong     and our prayers held up the sky

but now  the world is tired      and she groans  in protest    from her arthritic bones      and we make promises      that test our reason      and find us wanting      and leave us cold and lonely      our dreams have become dangerous things       but we never wonder why

and in our days        we know our numbers       and they add up      to big fat zeroes      and we all know that it doesn’t matter       because nothing really matters        from the bottom of the ocean      to the high on himalayans      there is such thing as truth      and our arms are aching now      from holding up the sky

back in the day

 I know they talk about me      and I know just what they say       I did something wrong      but that was back in the day        I was too young to know any better      way back in the day      they that I’m the devil       I certainly know his ways      but I was still a child       way back in the day.

I was beautiful       I was wild      and I liked to have my way      but the sins that I committed         well, that was back in the day       I had willing accomplices      who later called themselves victims     it seems I was svengali    way back in the day

I broke the seventh commandment      what more can I say?         I was a backdoor man       way back in the day        some kinds of love are evil       that’s what people say        they made of me a monster       from somewhere back in the day

hold me

buddha is watching         buddha is waiting        what’s in you      is around you       all that’s around you       is within you         without or within         it’s all the same to him         you could suffer little children        the way they suffer you        you could build a fire         of your possessions        free your mind of all distractions      

but in the meantime       you could hold me          just hold me        I lost my shadow       in the darkness       it’s dark without        it’s dark within         my blood runs cold         my shadow runs thin      and you could hold me      until the night passes         you could hold me        we could banish sin       you could simply hold me       until the day begins

bipolar wing nut

 I can make it        I know that I can make it        I’ve been harvesting troubles        since the world began         my blood spoils       with murderous intentions       but I’m yet resolved       to do myself no harm       still,  I have a mania of dangerous dimensions         and I must bite my tongue           learn to contain my words        my words are poison       my words are violent       my words are strange      and I must bite my tongue           these are my days        of blasphemy and thunder         and blasphemy and thunder        have been my mother tongue          very well       and     very well       I’ll get myself a poultice         to suffer up the puss       that so infects my purpose         I’ll find myself an angle        to cure my crooked thinking       I’ll mix myself a potion       to liberate my mind

feel good naked

 you have to turn the lights off      if you want to see outside       fix that scene in your head       you can serve it up later        when you’re in bed        just an ordinary guy         with love on his mind        god was looking at you        but just for a moment        it was a beautiful thing         a brown paper bag       discarded on the pavement       the chords of intent      tug on your shoulders         it won’t be long now        til you reach fulfilment       you’ve got to know what you look like       before you go out        you want to feel good naked          while you freak out         you are so very beautiful        and you’re doing great        if only you knew it

crushed

take a picture of this          lives that whisper low and soft    like desiccated leaves        of yesterday’s plasticine lovers         buried in shallow graves        old songs and new          of love betrayed        or bitterly entangled         some that withered on the vine          or were stolen in the dead of night      and eventually strangled             a billion working stiffs       eat when they are able           while bands of renegade junkies        feast upon their entrails           so indelicately dangled

they said the fighting was over        so we would drop our guard          then they sucker punched us        with world war three        staged in our back yard          there’s an app built into your phone          that turns your mind to mush          and replaces all your memories          with electrostatic slush       this is as a voice preaching to the deaf           whose words would make you blush       if you were of the living          and weren’t already crushed

john the revelator

 time means nothing       conventions are shackles       are you in the mood      to see something special?       I don’t know       I never did         maybe I got religion        it didn’t bring me joy         I’ve seen this movie before       I remember how it ends       the sun shines cool and thin       on the gilded palace of sin        it’s an open casket affair      the world is pale and weary     in her winter skin         these are the final days      of our cockroach empire       stupefied and dazed         like so many dancing bears         the latest, lastest craze     oxygen deprivation       we’re choking on our dreams        our chemical castration        it’s been a long time coming      but we refused to read the signs       it’ll be a long time gone          before we make amends         

cotton candy

 I sleep like an old man       half in      half out    somewhere in between        dreams and memories      wrapped around my head        like winding sheets         this is my death       I die by degrees in the 3 am          there’s no peace for the foolish         and I have been foolish          coz I got shit for brains          and cotton candy for a heart

in the kingdom of the blind

 my one good eye blinked      and  just for an instant         the world went dark          I looked upon myself        and silently cursed my fate          I took a screwdriver to my mind           rewired my persona     but there was no relief          from the literal devices        that only brought me grief

everything’s a cliché       practiced well enough        this is a world of actors      we simply have no choice         it’s a question of survival        we are mythology        out of contention        misdirected entertainers          creatures in a zoo      

but you don’t have to be afraid      not of me       I’m a misprint        a blemish        a social disease         all that’s been eating you       for the last ten thousand years      are pre-packaged excuses       and  crocodile tears     from where I am      you don’t understand       but I could be your guru       I could be your holy man

angel

she was a sweet thing       that much is true     but when I saw her at rhe window        lit up by the morning light      I thought she might be an angel      sent to save me       from myself      but my angel had claws      she’d been hurt before

I was a ragamuffin       no fixed abode      but I could talk the birds from the trees      I laid it on thick       with a big fuck off brush      maybe I said too little      maybe I said too much       I guess I’ll never know      my angel went away      we didn’t stay in touch       the taste of her lingers still      the woman in the window      what’s that the symbol of?

entropic

I don’t know the devil       but I know his ways        I’m familiar with deception           and the patterns of disgrace      so strap me down       or turn me loose        it’s sad       but it’s true     I’m overdue a jolt      more power to my elbows       more gleam on my machine     I’m not strung out       I’m just down       but there’s a cure for those blues      stashed in your arms       

I had to bend       I had no choice         I’m  a man of straw            a fool for hire       I dry my eyes      and blow my nose         I caught a chill      from deep inside          baby, I’m hurt        can you heal my wounds?      I forgot how to fly      so I’m learning to fall       do you think god truly loves us?        coz I  reached out         but he doesn’t answer my calls