seconds out...

 

all these fights are rigged       a man don’t stand a chance        he’s got to punch above his weight      from the very start     I was once pretty agile     but now I’m trading blows     the knockout punch was landed     and I don’t feel a thing       coz I’m numb from the neck up       and piteously exposed     one too many poundings      has left me on the ropes      I ought to throw in the towel      like so many suckers before me      but I’m in it for the fight      I don’t know what else to do

silence

 

I shut up shop       just for the holidays     when you’re  silent     everything speaks  to you       me, I move right in       I occupy that space     where silence reigns      silence nourishes      silence is the only sleep I need       yeah, I’m tuned to silence     that’s how my garden grows      out there in the distance      there is a frozen field      deep in the country of silence      I will wait for you there

crazy

 

the god we made is crazy      but everybody’s  crazy     you have to be fucking crazy    to live in this crazy world

I’m not the first to realize  that I’m a little crazy      my doctors say it’s normal      given the circumstances     they said a little poison would cure me of my ills     so they dosed me up on lithium        and locked me up in a hospital      until I learned to play nice

and you dear reader      do you recognize your madness?     do you let it shine before you?      or does it drag you down?      the symptoms after all     are part of human nature    so embrace your inner lunatic    and give your madness life    

 

God

 

what a colossal idea

a truly fantastic hoax

he wasn’t in the sky

he was in my living room

the god of magic mushrooms

the god of revelations

the sign of my ordeal

I bargained for salvation

he crushed me with his love

the god I had in mind

answered my foolish prayer

he give me a shot at redemption

who could want for more?

salvage

 

don’t you miss it?      the speedballs and reefer?    the fantastic highs?     the tragic lows?     no, I managed to keep  my shape     but it was an accident    I came out whole   as something less than holy    I defied the world and it crushed me      I’m stuck in my shotgun shack    my bindings are undone      I’m hardly worth the salvage    from the scrapyard of my mind

heavy (death song #3)

 

when I was crushed by the world        others were crushed by me       you couldn’t call it fair       but I would come down heavy       on whoever was around me       wherever I happened to be    …when I was a monster    I had a tune in my head       I called it my death song      I couldn’t switch it off     it nearly drove me mad        but when I came down heavy      that song was all I had

took a bite…

 

I’m in a hurry     I’m always in a hurry    I want my pudding     I want my pudding now      I need instant gratification      and a billion dollar high          I’ve got the hunger something chronic      I took a bite out of the world     I nearly swallowed it whole     it tasted so damn good     and now I want some more

Valor

 

She claimed to be a friend

I had no reason to doubt her

She said she knew where I lived      

and where my secrets were buried

She knew the best time to kick a man

is when he’s on the ground.

It seemed a friendly encounter

until she showed her hand.

She said, “You wear your illness like a badge.”

I replied, “No, you’re wrong, I wear it like a medal.”

She said, “You seem inordinately proud.”

I said, “Because I’ve won a thousand battles.”

She said, “Those battles were only in your mind…”

I replied, “Those are the battles that are hardest to fight.”

incognito

 

I identify as human      but ’ll admit to bogus credentials     mine is an assumed identity     I’m really not the man that I appear to be      my history is fiction      I lack a legitimate story     on which to  base a life

my whole façade is plastic     it takes on many forms      it conceals some dreadful truths       I do my best to hide       I’m a divided man      with all the heartache that implies     there are  wars I wage in secret        that cannot be described

seek out the devil

 

I turned over a new leaf     it looks the same as the old leaf     I think perhaps I’m living the only life I can     I tell you folks I’m trying       but it isn’t going well      I reckon I’d be a better man     if I wasn’t so fucking poor     I tried so hard to be good     but I didn’t have it in me      so I keep to myself     it’s simpler that way        

I’m not a complete arsehole     I’m still  able to feel     I suffer little children      their hungry mouths to feed     but somehow I feel impoverished    I’m talking financially     coz it’s money that people worship in this society         well, I’d rather seek out the devil     and keep my conscience clean     than participate in a religion    so inhuman and obscene    

promiscuous

 

back in the flower of manhood     I thrilled to a strangers touch       I was easily aroused     a look could be enough     fidelity did not appeal to me       it could only get in the way       I’ve been called a dirty dog     but I’m a dog whose had his day     

I don’t miss the one night stands       it’s cruel and selfish game      I was lost in promiscuous regions      I loved to screw around   the wicked require love too      and they’re so much better at it    they say experience counts    I couldn’t possibly comment      

meanwhile; back in my gymnasium    we coupled in the dance of shame     and with satiated lust   the cycle began again   there was little purpose to it    but it was too delicious to refuse     the Saturday night excitement     the Sunday morning blues     

catastrophic

 

I don’t think I’m dishonest      I only told one lie    I told it with conviction    I told it many times    they tell me I was wicked       for doing as I liked    but everything is permissible       if  you’re prepared to pay the price

all things are basically cool      until of course they’re not      I sometimes had to detonate my nuclear device      the power that moves my heart      is pounding out new stars      my love is catastrophic     it could tear the world apart

everything I did      I did in the name of love     I would not go without      I was an emotional junkie whore     with a gaping hole     at the centre of my soul     all my days I hungered      afraid to be alone     I wasn’t the only one     I had accomplices      but I’m the one they fingered     the one who took the blame