Casanova

 

maybe I have a pornographic mindset     perhaps just a lonely heart      I am my own master     and I have tasted freedom      I’ve been told I was greedy       but how much is too much?      how much is too little?      I think I’ve had my share      some say that’s quite enough       but let me tell you      it can never be enough      things were different for me       you have to allow for that      I was doing my favourite thing     and paying dearly for the pleasure     for I embraced the world      and every sinner in it

somewhere in our dreams

 

only my dreams seem real     is that the dark magic?       or is it all in my mind?    I dreamed of you last night      you were no ghost      you were all flesh and blood     but you would not come with me        when morning called our names     you kissed my lips just once       and vanished when I awakened       come to me tonight      I’ll wait for you there     somewhere in our dreams      where the world can’t drag us down

seconds out...

 

all these fights are rigged       a man don’t stand a chance        he’s got to punch above his weight      from the very start     I was once pretty agile     but now I’m trading blows     the knockout punch was landed     and I don’t feel a thing       coz I’m numb from the neck up       and piteously exposed     one too many poundings      has left me on the ropes      I ought to throw in the towel      like so many suckers before me      but I’m in it for the fight      I don’t know what else to do

silence

 

I shut up shop       just for the holidays     when you’re  silent     everything speaks  to you       me, I move right in       I occupy that space     where silence reigns      silence nourishes      silence is the only sleep I need       yeah, I’m tuned to silence     that’s how my garden grows      out there in the distance      there is a frozen field      deep in the country of silence      I will wait for you there

crazy

 

the god we made is crazy      but everybody’s  crazy     you have to be fucking crazy    to live in this crazy world

I’m not the first to realize  that I’m a little crazy      my doctors say it’s normal      given the circumstances     they said a little poison would cure me of my ills     so they dosed me up on lithium        and locked me up in a hospital      until I learned to play nice

and you dear reader      do you recognize your madness?     do you let it shine before you?      or does it drag you down?      the symptoms after all     are part of human nature    so embrace your inner lunatic    and give your madness life    

 

God

 

what a colossal idea

a truly fantastic hoax

he wasn’t in the sky

he was in my living room

the god of magic mushrooms

the god of revelations

the sign of my ordeal

I bargained for salvation

he crushed me with his love

the god I had in mind

answered my foolish prayer

he give me a shot at redemption

who could want for more?

salvage

 

don’t you miss it?      the speedballs and reefer?    the fantastic highs?     the tragic lows?     no, I managed to keep  my shape     but it was an accident    I came out whole   as something less than holy    I defied the world and it crushed me      I’m stuck in my shotgun shack    my bindings are undone      I’m hardly worth the salvage    from the scrapyard of my mind

heavy (death song #3)

 

when I was crushed by the world        others were crushed by me       you couldn’t call it fair       but I would come down heavy       on whoever was around me       wherever I happened to be    …when I was a monster    I had a tune in my head       I called it my death song      I couldn’t switch it off     it nearly drove me mad        but when I came down heavy      that song was all I had

took a bite…

 

I’m in a hurry     I’m always in a hurry    I want my pudding     I want my pudding now      I need instant gratification      and a billion dollar high          I’ve got the hunger something chronic      I took a bite out of the world     I nearly swallowed it whole     it tasted so damn good     and now I want some more

Valor

 

She claimed to be a friend

I had no reason to doubt her

She said she knew where I lived      

and where my secrets were buried

She knew the best time to kick a man

is when he’s on the ground.

It seemed a friendly encounter

until she showed her hand.

She said, “You wear your illness like a badge.”

I replied, “No, you’re wrong, I wear it like a medal.”

She said, “You seem inordinately proud.”

I said, “Because I’ve won a thousand battles.”

She said, “Those battles were only in your mind…”

I replied, “Those are the battles that are hardest to fight.”

incognito

 

I identify as human      but ’ll admit to bogus credentials     mine is an assumed identity     I’m really not the man that I appear to be      my history is fiction      I lack a legitimate story     on which to  base a life

my whole façade is plastic     it takes on many forms      it conceals some dreadful truths       I do my best to hide       I’m a divided man      with all the heartache that implies     there are  wars I wage in secret        that cannot be described

seek out the devil

 

I turned over a new leaf     it looks the same as the old leaf     I think perhaps I’m living the only life I can     I tell you folks I’m trying       but it isn’t going well      I reckon I’d be a better man     if I wasn’t so fucking poor     I tried so hard to be good     but I didn’t have it in me      so I keep to myself     it’s simpler that way        

I’m not a complete arsehole     I’m still  able to feel     I suffer little children      their hungry mouths to feed     but somehow I feel impoverished    I’m talking financially     coz it’s money that people worship in this society         well, I’d rather seek out the devil     and keep my conscience clean     than participate in a religion    so inhuman and obscene