back in the bygone it was all lumpy gravy served hand to mouth but I rarely went without I fought bitterly for every morsel that fell from the big table what’s in a man’s blood that makes him so combative? I cultivated mostly clean thoughts in my mostly clean mind but I still dredged up the filth from time to time there were nameless troubles fomenting behind my back I had the fear on something chronic a man can’t live like that he can only slowly die I had to get a new gimmick or maybe a change of skin I have the power to do that I can always change my skin
20 April 2023
13 April 2023
missing constellations
I’m out of favour with the cognoscenti I strike too sombre a tone for the dawn chorus they say this bird only charms to deceive but old unhappy far off things tug at memory with icy hands I never truly sinned not in my heart I’m as good as the next man as good as I have to be I’m getting into my beast now coz it makes no difference to me what you think so don’t listen to my shite I’ll only poison your ears with rancid prolix and juvenile posturing but I’m just an old man with a young and selfish heart don’t get me wrong I wish you well god grant you goodness and plenty just not too much and not too close to me
I packed my metaphoricals
      time to crash out        this
is my last incarnation      I turned indecent
shades of buddha        and invalidated my warranty      so they cancelled my subscription       I wasn’t cut out for the worker’s paradise          I don’t get mixed up in it       coz I’m not sure it’s clean        they say I’ve shit on the rules that
bind fathers and sons       but I’m a
kindly ruin         I’m archaeology        don’t dig me up          I want to be alone         it was all in my head         but long ago        my missing constellations         have long since turned to dust
4 April 2023
bridges
day by day        my vibrations grow thinner          I best seal my books        before an inspector         steals my secrets           man, I’m on the frayed edge           it’s combat stress        every weekend         back from the pub       a sorcerer full of secrets          I can speak the old abracadabra        do a little kiss and tell        but I’ll bite my tongue        on my long walk home         I won’t mention you         mum’s the word        no one needs to know        where our bodies are buried           or who has lain with who       there’s no need to worry       I’m strictly confidential         you can bank on my silence        this isn’t my first caper        and it won’t be my last         people are at war          with their inner dimensions       and they ain’t taking prisoners         this close to the front           I know the pain of universal
conflict      but I’m not afraid of circumstances        can you smell that?       our bridges are burning        I’ll dance in their ashes        when I’m good and drunk      
16 March 2023
tamagotchi warrior
I need       christ how I need      there’s never enough         to fill my need           I got the craving         something chronic       I’m not saying I’m sick          but I’m more than interested          this shit is the filth       there’s always the flip side         every silver lining        wrapped in a shit storm        I count my blessings       but they have edges          lacerating edges            I’m a bloody mess         from coming and going         I plough a straight furrow        but that’s just camouflage        I like to blend with the static 
8 March 2023
Bethlehem
I was reborn after the big sleep the deep sleep the sleep of dreams I was tired to the bone and sick of monsters and men are monsters who take up arms these are the days of the beast the beast tattoos our hearts with the dread apprehension and we live in fear and fear makes us monsters but there is no defence from the certainty of death only the promise of life eternal in the kingdom to come for hope springs eternal here in Bethlehem
25 February 2023
submarines
what a palaver there’s no doubt she dished dirt the full kitchen sink like some tacky soap I said lend me your body I’ll wipe that smile off your face a little dark humour from a darker place you know who you’ll answer to back indoors you can’t beat that peach they bruise too sweet she was dancing with moon dogs she dances real good but her mind is gone still, any old tart in a storm
she was
looking for someone         to submerge
herself in     someone to redeem her
dreams       but life shows little mercy          I didn’t have the space          and her motion made me sick         we were shacked up less than a week       before we sprang one     that’s the trouble with submarines         they are rarely observed         and never experienced        but I was in it for the kicks        the rest is propaganda
16 February 2023
bona
it’s those lesser evils that keep us tuned to the straight and narrow we didn’t choose this life but it’s our bread and butter god knows we’re bona good for nothing good for a laugh good after bad so dummy up and shine on this I’m only saying this for your own benefit be a shame to stumble to stumble and fall on yer fat arse this late in the game shape you’re in shape I’m in shapes we’re in we do the best we can with what we’ve got wherever we are we do the best we can but we’re only as good as we have to be
12 February 2023
flicker
it was a flicker of hell but that was enough to shrivel me knackers and sober me judge I’m laying one on I’m covering up this party’s over and I’m cutting up rough best find me some sugar to put in me cup coz I lived to tell but man, it was tough
Mirror Ball (Carpe Noctem)
all that’s within a man all that’s without him is just a mirror held up to the world the glitter the glamour the pain and misery the future and the past are merely fragmented reflections of the light the stars have cast seize the night seize the day each could be your last soon you’ll disappear like a shadow in the dark
8 February 2023
soul messenger
it’s the drip drip drip the relentless pressure that destroys a man the tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and it’s the pestilence of night that eats at his soul if he has a soul do we really have souls? I don’t know I hope so coz I would be a soul messenger a fragment of the sun
may goodness
open my eyes        but not too much just
yet        I want to leave some room         for future revelations     I’m a thousand years sober         every day provides the same blue
vista       that wipes away my tears       and paints my happy head          with an abiding love        I’m
sick of dark reflections      I want to bathe in light  
terminal anxiety
jesus weeps      time runs out      entropy triumphs at the gallop       mankind is beaten into third place      by the insects and the dinosaurs       this is not what we expected        as we cruised the highways        of our imaginations         we were promised paradise        and life everlasting       but we got the doomsday clock and terminal
anxiety         someone better switch off
the big light        this party is over and
it’s time to go home      to whatever
shit hole we came from
4 February 2023
dog town
on my way homeward bound where a cold wind blows over poisoned ground where I was born and where I died coz I die a little each day I spend in this dog town without a friend too many crimes left unsolved too many conflicts unresolved I am alien in this place I’m an abandoned building falling down an empty shell in this dog town
the blackened sky      
won’t drag me down         coz  I
am at odds      with this dog town     we love and hate our neighbours         until the bastards bleed     and trust the lord our saviour       in
our hour of need         I’m the last of
my kind in this dog town          they
might bury me here       but they’ll
never bring me down
