rocket to the sun

 I slipped into your purse        with your matches        your makeup       and your works      I rifled through your drawers      to find your stash          and I got a glimpse of your psychology      you’re packed to crash       and end all our fun     but that’s okay       you just thought of it first      when I was young      I slashed my wrists       the scars remain       but the boy is gone    he’s on a rocket  to the sun       nothing now can bring him down

breaking news

what the fuck?     what the actual fuck?    I mean what?      someone pissed in the well       and poisoned my loving cup       I sprang a leak          somewhere in my head       my thoughts, those tiny blind assassins        coursed through my mind       with the seductive force of  reason       logic clad in gun metal       I’m no longer trusted      so they wrapped me in chains           and set their dogs on me

breaking news!       this just in…       for the sake of (my) humanity     they saw me stoned        they had me sectioned and shaved for dissection      they’d mete out measure for measure against my indiscretions       coz  I drink too much to always play fair     and I taught myself to be a cunt     so I got what was coming to me     they’ll always see the worst in me         but you don’t care, do you?         I’ve often been good to you        and you and I are square

in pastures green

I was high        obscenely naked and high        and she was low with her blows         in her kicking boots         her dirty snake eyed boots       I would not wear such boots       coz I’m an natural  man         and no one poisons my well         no one bleeds me dry        only god can kill me         and he’ll have step so lightly      coz I never close my eyes           I will not lay in pastures green      I rehearse my dreams when I’m awake      and  I have learned to fly

 

My Death Songs

 man     I’m strung out like never before        my death songs bud ruby on my lips     the voices of ancient lovers        exposed in tender hearts  and bloody groins       sing the song eternal       and their words breathe sexual in my hungry ears         they know the sounds I long to hear      theirs is the music of children’s laughter      mixed with my own foolish lamentations          those tears will always flow      while the burden of love is loss     but the love exultant shall not die         together we shall make time in the choir celestial

 

God Kills

I was high        obscenely naked and high        and she was low with her blows         in her kicking boots         her dirty snake eyed boots       I would not wear such boots       coz I’m an natural  man         and no one poisons my well         no one bleeds me dry        only God can kill me          he’ll have step so lightly      coz I never close my eyes       I rehearse my dreams           and  I have learned to fly

snake eyes

my stones are choking      this pressure is relentless       all men are cursed        some more than others      most are oblivious      others have seen the signs         there’s a dead dog at the side of the road       I’ve seen that sign before…       …pennies in my eyes…       …death is a constant       there are no exceptions       there is no cheating death through liturgy or magic       but I’m headed for cover just the same 

there ain’t no judas goat       tethered to my psyche       my doors are always barricaded        against imposters and thieves        coz I’ve been fucked before      though most of my wounds are self inflicted        that war is over now      I’m just trying to carve out a peace        that don’t stink of defeat        it’s not a question of luck      I’m already consigned to the power that rules my fate       and it’s written in my stars        that I’ll be rolling snake eyes from now on

candy

I learned to embrace my failings       I had little choice      my signature moves are suicidal        but they are carved in stone habitual         I’m just a foolish old man        with a juvenile heart       I made a compact with the devil      I’d struggle all my days         but they’d never be dull

I tried it once or twice      the measured banality        of sacred vows and maximum fidelity      but human bondage wasn’t for me      I’m bone idle          too lazy to play happy families        no sour grapes though     they fed me candy       the taste still lingers         bittersweet       with a hint of almond 

obituary

my shadow lengthens       as the nights draw in       there’s  little warmth       in the distant sun      I’m carving names        it’s tombstone season      our days are numbered        we know not how      so, I wrote my own obituary        I was generous to myself       I gave all I had to give        I took all I had to take        my books are balanced      and inky black        post mortem analysis has revealed        a life misbegotten in the pursuit of pleasure        I  didn’t take life too seriously        I took it for a ride

lycanthropic

 back in the bygone       it was all lumpy gravy      served hand to mouth       but I rarely went without      I fought bitterly for every morsel that fell from the big table      what’s in a man’s blood that makes him so combative?       I cultivated mostly clean thoughts         in my mostly clean mind        but I still dredged up the filth from time to time       there were nameless troubles fomenting behind my back      I had the fear on something chronic        a man can’t live like that       he can only slowly die      I had to get a new gimmick        or maybe a change of skin       I have the power to do that      I can always change my skin 

missing constellations

 I’m out of favour with the cognoscenti        I strike too sombre a tone for the dawn chorus     they say this bird only charms to deceive          but old unhappy far off things       tug at memory with icy hands         I never truly sinned         not in my heart              I’m as good as the next man         as good as I have to be         I’m getting into my beast now       coz it makes no difference to me        what you think       so don’t listen to my shite       I’ll only poison your ears       with rancid prolix     and juvenile posturing      but I’m just an old man       with a young and selfish heart       don’t get me wrong        I wish you well       god grant you goodness and plenty        just not too much       and not too close to me

 

I packed my metaphoricals       time to crash out        this is my last incarnation      I turned indecent shades of buddha        and invalidated my warranty      so they cancelled my subscription       I wasn’t cut out for the worker’s paradise          I don’t get mixed up in it       coz I’m not sure it’s clean        they say I’ve shit on the rules that bind fathers and sons       but I’m a kindly ruin         I’m archaeology        don’t dig me up          I want to be alone         it was all in my head         but long ago        my missing constellations         have long since turned to dust

bridges

day by day        my vibrations grow thinner          I best seal my books        before an inspector         steals my secrets           man, I’m on the frayed edge           it’s combat stress        every weekend         back from the pub       a sorcerer full of secrets          I can speak the old abracadabra        do a little kiss and tell        but I’ll bite my tongue        on my long walk home         I won’t mention you         mum’s the word        no one needs to know        where our bodies are buried           or who has lain with who       there’s no need to worry       I’m strictly confidential         you can bank on my silence        this isn’t my first caper        and it won’t be my last         people are at war          with their inner dimensions       and they ain’t taking prisoners         this close to the front           I know the pain of universal conflict      but I’m not afraid of circumstances        can you smell that?       our bridges are burning        I’ll dance in their ashes        when I’m good and drunk      

tamagotchi warrior

I need       christ how I need      there’s never enough         to fill my need           I got the craving         something chronic       I’m not saying I’m sick          but I’m more than interested          this shit is the filth       there’s always the flip side         every silver lining        wrapped in a shit storm        I count my blessings       but they have edges          lacerating edges            I’m a bloody mess         from coming and going         I plough a straight furrow        but that’s just camouflage        I like to blend with the static