16 June 2017

Robotnik

Johnny-Robot

The narrow bandwidth channels acting as conduits for the data colloquially referred to as knowledge have become irrelevant. However, it is deemed to be in the national interest to close down these channels permanently. Therefore steps will be taken to sanction service providers who facilitate the dissemination of this obsolete data. Cooperation in this matter is mandatory.

The proliferation of infotainment channels and customised news sites has saturated the market and provided unforeseen opportunities in social stratification. Engineers now estimate that by 2030 they will have devised programmes that could demonstrate a compliance ratio of ninety percent or over.

In recent times those devices approved by government block the frequencies preferred by the deviant and the curious in their research activities. They divert unhealthy enquiry to focus on approved messages known to assist in the development of balanced and contented personal schemas.

Operating under the understanding that knowledge is power and ignorance is bliss the authorities plan to erase one trillion bytes of information from the public sphere in an effort to spread happiness and contentment globally during the next decade. Through the selective erasure of dangerous and erroneous data government will engineer a new universal hegemony which will enhance social cohesion while reinforcing traditional patriotic ideals.

The war on terror was once conceived of as a battle for hearts and minds, but today we realise that it is in fact a question of data storage and retrieval. The synergy of imagination and commerce has fuelled a technological revolution that will see the entire population digitised by the year 2020 – when hindsight is scheduled to replace nostalgia. There is a clear distinction between the two – the first is salutary and the latter is merely a form of romanticism. Under the new system the past will be fixed in time and substance which will require the adjustment of millions of citizens to a synchronised collective experience. This revolutionary innovation will make us all safer because it entails the regulation of history through scientific management. For example, under the new system everyone will remember and share exactly where they were on 9/11 - establishing alibis for millions of people while exposing divergent memories in potential conspirators.

Law enforcement will be revolutionised when memories are shared in data clouds. This will necessitate the introduction of legislation making the intention to commit crime an offence – an innovation currently being tested in anti terror legislation across the globe. It’s projected that actual crime will be obsolete by 2030 and so will the police. Information sharing means that we shall in effect police ourselves. Concerned citizens will present themselves voluntarily to the department of corrections to have their data adjusted according to the degree of their deviance. After all no one wants to deviate as normative values are set by government to keep us happy and safe.

There will of course be a built in degree of permissible variance which will simulate individuality because the synthesis of individuality has always been a significant component in the generation of distinctive and unique identities. Of course even these parameters can be adjusted to benefit the integration of the individual into society, or in the interests of society as a whole.

It is projected that the greatest gain to be made from digitisation will come in industrial relations. The introduction of general collective bargaining will mean that deals are made at the national level and will apply to all. Data manipulation will ensure the greatest possible satisfaction with the outcomes of these negotiations. Issues such as pay and working conditions can be dealt with in a way which fosters mutual respect and good will while maintaining the highest possible profit margins.

A national agreement shall be drafted and the agreement committee will arbitrate in all disputes and negotiations. This solution is only made possible through large scale data manipulation. The Data Manipulation Act provides agencies with the widest possible remit to alter facts in the national interest. In this way the spectre of industrial action shall be consigned to a place in history where strikes and workplace disputes have never existed in the first place.

The thorny issue of intellectual property rights shall be resolved by digitisation. Intellectual activity will no longer be the province of the individual, but shall belong to the collective under the guardianship of the service provider. These and other measures will facilitate the efficient management of individuality, weeding out deviance and encouraging the collective mindset. Social engineers predict that by the middle of the century excessive individuality will be repugnant to most right thinking people. By that time, however, medical science will have developed more effective treatments for egocentric and eccentric deviance making such instances increasingly rare.

As with the introduction of any new technology the science of data manipulation shall throw up challenges and opportunities as yet unforeseen. There may be novel and innovative applications in the military, for example, which will protect our fledgling utopia from foreign powers, or terrorist organisations hostile to our way of life. We know that other nations are researching the possibilities of data manipulation for nefarious purposes of their own. That is why we must forge ahead with our plans – adjusting the data of misinformed objectors – in order to protect the interests of all our citizens and the welfare of the nation for generations to come.

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