28 July 2014

Green Disciple

Joint

Here smoke this - it’ll do you some good. That Chinese dope is compressed and loaded full of stalk and leaf. This skunk is all bud. It’s the filth - real heavy shit. It has a narcoleptic hit – a real heavy stone - full of easy drifting and sudden realisation. You’ll see around corners you never thought existed. It’s loaded with contemplation and shiny pipe dreams, but it’s all momentai - we’ll do that shit tomorrow.

Some ask me why I smoke the herb. It’s for the colour of rain, I say, for the music of the sun. It’s arriving by different routes to familiar destinations – for soothing the agitated mind and discovering new faults in my improbable machine. It’s for the correction of the heart – erasing the mystique of the subconscious mind and shining a light within. I step a little lighter with that heavenly mantle spread across my shoulders. I smile a little deeper for less provocation.

.

26 July 2014

Dinghies

Now 

It no longer hurts. I plucked out the offending instrument with bloody fingers and drew me a new one of purple with eight crimson limbs – each possessing a caring hand for a fevered brow – each tentacle a golden pathway to enlightenment – according to my sponsors who have been mysteriously absent of late.

I believe there is no saving anyone, even ourselves – especially ourselves. We are each bound to a fatal trajectory; we all reach the same destination over time. We come from nothing and it’s to nothing we return. We spend our days with the masses chewing the cud and shitting it out; we are all members of the one great herd - all bound for the abattoir.

But enough of this bovine philosophy – I have a boat to catch and my memoirs to forge. This shit does not cook itself. It takes days of careful preparation and intense deliberation to float these little dinghies. There’s a cheap and cheerful cliché – a clumsy metaphor requiring little imagination; little boats adrift on the glittering ocean; the flotsam and jetsam of tiny shipwrecks; no survivors to tell the tale.

I plucked out the offending instrument with bloody fingers and set sail for new lands where they’d never heard of me – or my sorry tale. I ate my ragged sails and burned my little boat on the volcanic shores of some forgotten land where they remembered nothing, but they remembered me. It was raining, I recall, they laid on a hero’s welcome – complete with friendly lynch mob and an accommodating tree...

……

24 July 2014

Imposter

Funny disguise mask. Vector.
I can’t write. I have no talent, no finesse, no nuanced phrasing or beautiful prose. I recognise my key attributes now. I’m the devil’s bagman. I’ll poison your chakras and I’ll piss in your well. Just so long as I’m felt – just so you know that I’m there.

This woman – random bitch – in the hospital called me an imposter, because I smiled when offered a cigarette. I smiled and said ‘thank you’ – a crazy move in the locked ward. No one smiles in a locked ward, unless they are staff. For them it’s a job, for the patients it’s a grim vocation.

I have me a new vocation – king of the night, burner of the midnight oil. I’ll sit and drum on this machine until I’ve squeezed the venom from my brain pan into some form of magic - something that leaps from the page and makes for the jugular. I don’t care who likes it – I’m not handing out sweeties – I’m signing death warrants.

Here is the new credo – love is for suckers – hopeless sentiment for rascals and liars. I’ll be fooled no more by pretty words and winning smiles. I’m the singular and heartless beast that lurks beneath the breast of every man and woman who was ever burned. I’m the an imposter; feigning interest in truth and beauty when all I care about is getting my rocks off and cataloguing my experience for the prurient thrill I derive from playing the game with style.
.

13 July 2014

Mother Sun

sun-sibling-1

I switch off the word machine

and turn my face toward the sun

the bone silence prevails

saturating the senses

with harmless static

that feels good

the warmth of the sun

fusing my lids to eyeballs

searing red my retina

revealing a blood conduit

to the heart of the mother sun

.

6 July 2014

Reflective

reflective

back

in the laboratory

of my mind

I concoct solutions

to ubiquitous problems

the silken intrusion

and delicate rub

of afflictive memories

the cocks and cunts

of youthful infatuation

the fascination

of the flesh

meshed into pornographic

reference

forced into grotesque

and novel shapes

made to adopt

censored smiles

and null identity

but these subtle devices

imperfect in design

only breed new monsters

bittersweet and unkind

.

5 July 2014

Kodachrome

Kodachrome_01

always got the soggy end

drip

  drip

     drip

‘til saturation point

lacking that golden touch

tongue tied

born to rust

this takes the biscuit

really pisses me off

.

I’m on a bender

have been for years

what choice do I have?

I’ve nowhere left to run

I could be rehabilitated

did you ever think of that?

I could pass for normal

in the proper attire

.

- that’s a faulty account

and a totally false picture -

.

click

   click

      click

.

Kodachrome

it’s a flash exposure

that imprints illusion

on the pliant mind

can’t let that touch me

only drags me down

after all

they’re only snapshots

frozen memories

and memories change

through time.

.

3 July 2014

Tea Time

Tea_Cup_4c0d062748e8d

I smell trouble

you fill the room with it

that’s a derangement

of the senses

an olfactory overload

.

something tastes thin

thin and unwholesome

there’s a pit within

a pit in the stomach

of a starving man

.

I’ve peeled my eyes

they’re a sorry sight

I’m loaded up

on bathtub gin

and pixie dust

stoned to my teeth

under a heroin sky

.

surfing

to the sound of nausea

deaf to my objections

you pick the nits

that make me itch

.

making sandwiches

and

brewing tea

you sucked the life

from science

but

mastered the art

of banality

.